Kaiju Watch: Ghidorah, The Three Headed Monster (1964)

Watched:  06/10/2020
Format:  BluRay
Viewing:  second or third
Decade:  1960's
Director:  Ishirō Honda


This movie is straight up nonsense and is, therefore, ideal.

January in Tokyo sees 82 degrees temperatures and an encephalitis epidemic.  People are all about UFO's.  A Princess is seeking asylum from her small country in Japan because (a) there is an assassination plot afoot before she can be coronated and (b) everyone is wearing Elizabethan collars and it is a fashion nightmare.  The Faeries are touring Japan and appearing on gameshows?

Anyway - we get way, way into the movie before there's even a hint of kaiju.  Instead, there's a plot about the princess jumping out of her plane before it explodes and then appearing in Tokyo possessed by a Venusian and predicting calamity (see: Ghidorah).  A reporter and her brother are stepping on each other's toes.  There's a hit squad of 4 very hep cats after the princess.

Noir Watch: The Woman in the Window (1944)

Watched:  06/10/2020
Format:  TCM on DVR
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1940's
Director:  Fritz Lang

This film has a tremendous premise, a terrific cast, and is absolutely knee-capped by the Hayes Code in the final minutes.  I wouldn't say it's not worth watching, but if you're squinting at the movie and aware of the rules of the road for a movie made in 1944, and wondering "holy heck, how is *this* going to resolve?" - you may be on to something.

Friday Night Tweet-a-Long: "Frankenstein's Daughter" (1958)

Movie:  Frankenstein's Daughter
Watch:  Amazon Prime  
Day:  Friday - 06/12/2020
Time:  8:30 PM Central

hashtag:  #fraufranky

At 8:30 - pause the movie here.  We'll give you the signal to sync up!

"dis"astor pictures!

Apparently shot in 6 days and on $65,000 - what could go wrong?  Apparently no one told the make-up artist the monster was to be female so get ready for an accidentally progressive 1950's monster film where we respect the featured creature's pronouns.

I believe this film has 2 monsters, a band and some mad, mad science.

We're going old school!  Join us as we delve into some 1950's monsterriffic mayhem!

PODCAST: "Predator" (1987) Arnie-Fest Continues w/ SimonUK and Ryan

Watched:  06/04/2020
Format:  Amazon Streaming
Viewing:  Unknown
Decade:  1980's
Director:  John McTiernan

For more ways to listen, visit the link.

Arnie-Fest continues as Simon and Ryan get to da choppa and do not camouflage their adoration of this 1980's sci-fi actioner staple. We talk about the cross-genre bending of the film, the changes to action in this era, Bill Duke, exult the acting skills of Arnold, and generally have a grand old time talking about what is maybe one of the best remembered movies of the second half of the 80's - and with darn good reason.

The Signal Watch PodCast · 106: "Predator" (1987) a SimonUK Cinema Series Installment (w/ Ryan!)

Music:

Predator Main Theme - Alan Silvestri


Playlist:

The Signal Watch PodCast · SimonUK Cinema Series

Noir Watch: Cornered (1945)

Watched:  06/04/2020
Format:  Noir Alley on TCM on BluRay
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1940's
Director:  Edward Dmytryk

There's a lot to like in Cornered (1945), categorized here as Film Noir, but it's early in the movement and won't fit some people's ideas of the category.  Still, a man driven half-mad by obsession ignores common sense in pursuit of his goals, his weaknesses clobber him repeatedly and near fatally, and there are possibly scheming women, even as he sets about solving a mystery.  He's not a professional detective, but former Canadian RAF pilot Gerard (a not Canadian-polite Dick Powell) is recovering at the end of the war and learns that the French girl he met and married while hiding out in a village after being downed, was rounded up and killed by a Nazi collaborator.

Kaiju Watch: Godzilla vs Megaguirus (2000)

Watched:  06/01/2020
Format:  BluRay
Viewing:  Second
Decade:  00's
Directors:  Masaaki Tezuka, Ishirô Honda

In general, I like dragon flies.  They remind me of lazy summer days and hanging out by the pool.  Sometimes they even land on you when you're on a float, and that's kind of fun.

I do not care, however, for the Megaguirus, the giant flying SOB that is the villain of the piece in Godzilla vs Megaguirus (2000).  Some of the monsters in Godzilla's rogues gallery are jerks - I'm looking at you, Ghidorah - but I straight up want to punch Megaguirus in its toothy face.  I can find room in my heart for a space monster that is just doing its thing of domination via rampage, but Megaguirus brings nothing to the table, charm-wise, while also being a real pain.

All the worst things bugs do?  Megaguirus is all about those things.

Let's Do This Watch: The Dallas Connection (1994)

Watched:  05/30/2020
Format:  Full Moon on Amazon Streaming
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1990's
Director:  Christian Drew Sidaris

In the wake of Hard Ticket to Hawaii, and with a 7-day trial of "Full Moon" available, I clicked around to see what else might be available from the Malibu Bay film collection.  I stumbled upon The Dallas Connection (1994), another Bullets, Bombs and Babes movie from the studio.

PODCAST: "Commando" (1985) a SimonUK Cinema Series Installment!

Watched: 05/22/2020
Format: BluRay
Viewing: HA ha ha ha ha ha
Decade: 1980's
Director: Mark L. Lester

For more ways to listen, click here.

SimonUK and Ryan discuss one of the finest films ever produced, the 1985 action opus, "Commando". Starring our beloved Arnie, the movie is an ideal of the action genre and narrative economy, while also featuring a fantastic cast, a possibly unintentionally weirdo bad-guy, a multi-talented Rae Dawn Chong, and Bill Duke as Bill Duke. We explore the incredible amount of goofy violence, idyllic child-rearing, unlikely explosions and what it means to strip down for a ride in a rubber raft.

The Signal Watch PodCast · 105: "Commando" (1985) a SimonUK Cinema Series Installment (w/ Ryan!)

Music:
Main Theme - James Horner, Commando OST

That time in 2014 when Simon and I met Mark L. Lester.

Simon and Lester get photobombed by Not-Matrix 

yours truly with the man himself

Playlist:

The Signal Watch PodCast · SimonUK Cinema Series

Friday Tweet-a-Long: "Beastmaster"

Movie:  The Beastmaster - 1982
Watch:  Streaming on Amazon Prime
Day:  Friday 06/05/2020
Time:  8:30 PM

hashtag:  #tigerdye

Let's pause the movie here and wait on my signal:

the name that means "quality?"

Let's watch a movie about a grown man who walks around like it's okay to keep your ferrets in a duffel bag.*  He also has a large cat and a bird.  And Tanya Roberts!  And many, many muscles.

It's a pre-"V" Mark Singer in a fantasy movie I haven't seen since high school.  This is one that if you ask any dude between the ages of 52 and 40, they will swear this movie is good.  But very few of us have watched it since, say, 1991.  We don't really know.

In fact, aside from Mark Singer wearing a loin-cloth and constantly surrounding himself with animals (get a dog, Mark.  Sheesh.), I don't really remember what the movie is even about.  Probably an evil army that needs defeating.



Understandably, Conan: The Barbarian costs something to watch, so we're not doing it.  I am also furious that Amazon has the balls to actually charge for:

• Krull
• Sheena
• Red Sonja
• Conan: The Destroyer
• Clash of the Titans

and many, many other films that I would immediately watch if they were not $4.  But Beastmaster is free to stream with Prime, so we're doing it.

Seriously, Red Sonja is the bomb.




*I mean, we all knew that guy in college, and he seemed colorful at first and then, eventually, you realized he just kind of sucked.  Ferrets are great, and I loved them when my brother kept a couple of them, but they are not meant to go places with you so you can use them in place of a personality.

Tweet Watch: Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Dr. Freud is doing cartwheels in his grave

Watched:  05/29/2020
Format:  Amazon Streaming on "Full Moon"
Viewing:  Second, as it turns out
Decade:  1980's
Director:  Andy Sidaris

As was said during the viewing, "this movie was actually printed on toxic masculinity".  It's hard to remember how different things actually were in the 1980's, but different they were.  Or, at least, certain held viewpoints were much more in the forefront of popular culture.  And I'm not pretending like Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) was a popular movie or one most people alive during the era had seen, but it is emblematic of a certain kind of filmmaking that one could now hand over to a film-studies undergrad to get them to *really, really* understand the concept of "the male gaze" in movies.

Friday Night Tweet-A-Long: (I hope you've got $4 for a) HARD TICKET TO HAWAII

Movie:  Hard Ticket to Hawaii
Available at:  (for $4) Amazon Streaming
Day:  Friday - 05/29/2020
Time:  8:30 PM Central/ 3:30 Hawaiian time

Hashtag:  #alohard

Get ready for action, adventure, tropical settings and - I'm assuming - nudity.  It's Hard Ticket to Hawaii!  It's a NSFW foray into a very particular blend of 1980's movie making, merging automatic weapons with vendetta-mad baddies and athletic-wear models in shorts.

I've never seen it - so you cannot hold me personally or legally responsible.  And, yes, it will cost you $4 unless you sign up for "Full Moon" for a free trial, which... hey, maybe Full Moon is amazing?  How am I to say?*

A foretaste of the feast to come:







*looking at their website, it LOOKS like it's amazing

Forgot to Mention It Watch: Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)

Watched:  05/something/2020
Format:  Amazon Streaming
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1980's
Director:  Carl Reiner

I watched this weeks ago and a stray comment from Jenifer reminded me I for to post about it, but I did watch it. 

Now I'm too tired to write about it. 

Endurance Watch: Screwballs (1983)

Watched:  05/24/2020

Format:  Amazon Streaming

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1980's

Director:  I don't care

Back in the day, Hollywood settled upon a few formulaic items which generated endless, cheaply produced and ultimately very profitable movies.  Some took place in college, some in high school.  All were wildly horny, Rated-R and intended for a high school audience.  One such formula developed that deeply owed a debt to Animal House wherein a group of misfit dudes got up to increasingly randy, episodic shenanigans in pursuit of good times and bad sex.  The movies were an excuse to put boobs on screen, have young talent who couldn't act do Tex Avery character impersonations, lean into misogynistic and often racist stereotypes and somehow never quite be either as funny or sexy as you were figuring on.

PODCAST: "Superman II" (1981) - A Super Film Selection w/ Ryan and Stuart

Watched:  05/21/2020
Format:  BluRay
Viewing:  Unknown.  A lot.
Decade:  1980's
Director:  Richards Lester and Donner


For more ways to listen.


Everyone loves "Superman II", or at least that's how they remember it. Listen in as two guys who have seen this movie way, way too many times, read too much about it and - frankly - thought more about it than an adult person probably should set about discussing the follow-up to the super-tastic "Superman: The Movie". This one has the big bad-guy fight! But also, weird powers, a shiny disco bed, and will the real Gene Hackman please stand up?

The Signal Watch PodCast · 104: "Superman II" (1981) - a Super Film Selection with Ryan and Stuart

Music: 

Can You Read My Mind? - Maureen McGovern



Playlist:

The Signal Watch PodCast · Ryan's Random Cinema

Comedy Watch: The Lovebirds (2020)

Watched:  05/24/2020
Format:  Netflix
Viewing:  First
Decade:  2020's
Director:  Michael Showalter

I wasn't sure what to expect.  I don't love rom-coms, and there's a weird sub-genre of "couple gets caught up in a crime and run around downtown" sub-genre that I've never had an interest in exploring. 

This one, however, worked for me.  I generally like Kumail Nanjiani - and that continues on here - and I really liked Issa Rae.  She's pretty great. 

Anyhoo, not going to overthink this one, but it was the right movie for us this weekend.

Tweet Watch: Invasion USA (1985)

Watched:  05/22/2020
Format:  Amazon Streaming
Viewing:  Unknown.  Probably 3rd?
Decade:  Reagan 80's
Director:  Joseph Zito


I am not wasting my time or yours by writing this up or asking you to read about this movie. 

Friday Night Tweet-a-Long: Invasion USA (1985)

Watch at:  Amazon Prime
Day:  Friday 05/22/2020
Start Time:  8:30 Central
Hashtag:  #invadeusa

Pause Video and Wait At:  20 seconds - as soon as the Cannon Logo locks in.

Because:  CANNON - the sign of 80's QUALITY

The 80's were a time of amazing action movies that rarely, if ever, made any sense, but did provide plumes of flame and dudes with automatic weapons taking care of business.  It was also the halcyon days of Chuck Norris before he became a meme.  But how did he become a meme and why?  We're here to find out.

Join us as America works through its paranoia and racism in the form of a land-based invasion force who seems hell-bent on... something.  But apparently a single boatload of guys in camo pants is enough to set Reagan's America on its ear!  You'll wonder how a country need be made great again when you're bad-ass enough to have Chuck Norris around to single-handedly save the nation!

Accidental Quarantine Watch: Jezebel (1938)

Watched:  05/18/2020
Format:  TCM on DVR
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1930's
Director:  William Wyler

Y'all should know by now I like me some Bette Davis, and one of her early-career films you hear name-dropped a bit is Jezebel (1938).  In all honesty, all I knew about the movie before hitting Play was that it starred Davis, was a period piece of some sort, a melodrama of some sort, and featured cinematography was by Ernest Haller.   I figured on a big studio budget as Davis was, by 1938, a force.  But I didn't think much else about the production.

Given the year, I assume this was Warner Bros. pre-emptive answer to Gone With the Wind, which would arrive soon after and took so long in all phases of production, Warner Bros. had an opportunity to catch up and did so by adapting a screenplay with very similar themes.  Maybe I'm wrong, but the parallels of a romance about a spitfire of a girl in the antebellum south longing after a man she can't have and playing with a bit of a cad and it all ending badly has a certain echo to it.

PODCAST: "Skyfall" (2012) - Bond Watch 07 w/ SimonUK and Ryan

Watched:  05/16/2020
Format:  BluRay
Viewing:  Unknown - maybe 4th?
Decade:  2010's
Director:  Sam Mendes

More ways to listen.

We talk a favorite of the entire Bond franchise - "Skyfall"! It's not just a perfect Adele song, it's also a movie! Daniel Craig and Dame Judith Dench protect Mother England and tangle with Javier Bardem! There's a komodo dragon! There's a mysterious island! There's a chase through tunnels! A jail cell with no toilet! Join Simon UK and Ryan as we sort through the film that was better than the films immediately before and after.




Music:
Bond Theme - Monty Norman
Skyfall - Adele



Playlist:

Noir Watch: Mildred Pierce (1945)

Watched:  05/16/2020
Format:  Noir Alley on TCM on DVR
Viewing:  Unknown
Decade:  1940's
Director: Michael Curtiz


It's pointless for a schlub blogger like me to get into writing much about Mildred Pierce (1945) - it's one of the best known and most written about movies out there, still a favorite among even the most casual of classic film fans.  Anyway, there's no shortage of critical analysis out there about the film.