Awesome News! The World is Ending! Everybody PARTY!!!

So, we were driving back from grabbing lunch at Curra's here in Austin, and at the intersection of Congress and Oltorf, three trucks were parked in a lot, all with the same graphic.

I could only get one of the trucks with my cell phone.

the most oddly depressing strip center in Austin gets a little added spice

In case you can't read the graphic:

Guarantee is a very strong word...  I'm just saying.

As if that wasn't wacky enough, Andrew - a guy I am 6 degrees away from being a relation (uh, Jamie's brother's wife's brother.  Yes, that sounds right)  also posted images on Facebook of himself next to exactly the same truck in Virginia.  He says there were five at his location.  So, people, let me know if you're spotting this fleet of people declaring the Earth will end before the Green Lantern movie gets released.

As Jason said "well, there's been somebody predicting the end times are about to happen since time began".  But I'm not exactly sure what the hook is here other than some mash-up of Mayan snake-god calendaring getting mixed up with Poltergeist-2/ tent revival/ end-times fun.  And, look, if its a financial scam, three months isn't really much time to maximize your profit.

On the one hand, if the world were ending...  Just imagine how kooky the next three months would really get.  I tell you what, I wouldn't feel very incentivized to show up at work or fill out my tax return.

If this is true, I am done with Marvel Comics

Comics rumor-meister Rich Johnston is reporting that Marvel stated at Comics Pro (a comics retailer summit currently happening in Dallas), that they plan to kill off a major character every quarter.

Its not that I want Marvel to go away because I read more DC... 

Look, I have my opinions about creative bankruptcy, the sort of stories and the tone at Marvel as the Ed Hardy of comics publishers of late.  I know these are fictional characters, etc...  that the deaths are fictional,  and before anyone says "gee, you're really in the bag for DC":  I grew up on X-Men and Spidey, smidges of Punisher and small doses of Cap (I was never a Hulk, FF or Avengers reader), and I'm happy to talk Marvel credentials any time.

But I don't think I like what a planned "death-per-quarter as selling point" says about what Marvel thinks about me as a consumer.  If true, its so breath-takingly cynical. 

I get that when you're of a certain age, your definition of hero and bad-ass come down to certain ideas about the world being a hard, cold place, and you can idolize characters or people who seem to represent a perspective that seems able to embrace that perspective, and thus you get folks who skew really far one way and get guys who shop at Hot Topic and think My Chemical Romance is really on to something, and other folks who think MMA cage-fighting represents some keen problem-solving abilities.   And so, yeah, if the world is cold and dark and whatnot, and if your superheroes are for adults, then some of them have to die (not like stupid little-kid superheroes).  So why not kill your fictional characters on a schedule fit to meet quarterly demands by your corporate overlords who want to know why the quarter where Cap died seemed to go so well? 

Does death create a new space in which to tell stories?  Absolutely.  Right up until its a corporate mandate insisting "this is good comics".

While there is a certainly poetry to scheduled hero-cide to fit corporate revenue cycles and to serve stock value, its all a little...  sad, isn't it?  I'm not saying product placement meetings with Popsicle and DC Comics going on right now to create GL ice cream treats don't seem a little goofy...  but its also sort of weird to hear Marvel just come clean and give a peek behind the curtain (if true).  The meaninglessness of frequent character deaths in comics has become a corporate mandate far beyond the editorial bullpen.

I'm not kidding.  I only read Cap and a smattering of other Marvel stuff these days.  I'm looking for an excuse to just quit looking at Marvel's offerings, and if they really want to believe the only way I can get my kicks anymore is by watching characters get snuffed and watching wide-eyed at the fall-out?  Maybe its time we part ways.

DC Insists I not Read Their New "Static Shock" comic

I wasn't reading superhero comics when the Milestone line was introduced.  I remember looking at "Static" in his Malcolm X hat on the rack, thinking "if I were reading superhero comics, I would try out this new line."  And then "Why did they put him in a cap that's part of a fashion fad?".

Static would go on to get picked up as a Saturday morning cartoon on the Kids WB!, which I really liked.  Static was always a bit in over his head, and somehow the show managed to make him likeable despite its many cliches and trappings of the teen-aged superhero schtick (including the best friend who just happens to be a techno-wiz).

I've since read some of the earlier Static stuff, and its pretty good.  I'd pick up a new series, or would I?

A while back, DC started hiring TV writers who feigned enthusiasm about comics, including writer Felicia Henderson, whose credits include Family Matters, Sister, Sister, and Gossip Girl.  Not just shows outside the superhero milieu, but not shows known for their superior plotting or character development.*

So, yeah, great.  TV credentials.  I blamed this mostly on Dan Didio, who came from TV and tried to bring the serial sensibility with him, and what passed for his Hollywood connections to get TV writers on board.  the results were pretty much uniformly unreadable, and, sadly, I'd include the few issues of Henderson's Teen Titans I tried to read once they added some of my favorite DC characters like Blue Beetle and Superboy into the mix.  Frankly, those issues were "I am becoming angry this was how I spent $3"-bad.

She has been handed Static, which is a bit of a disappointment, but then DC is putting Scott "look how fast I can draw!" McDaniel to the art is one of those things...  some people are into McDaniel's work, which I find...  perfunctory.  I mean, that is definitely comics art, but when DC hires him it often seems to be because time is of the essence, and if a leg looks like a ham, then, okay.  He's just not my cup of tea**

I genuinely don't know what DC is thinking launching Static under Henderson, except that its possible they severed their better connections with Milestone originator Dwayne McDuffie during the JLA fiasco of 2007-2008.   And while I see no reason Static shouldn't be tried out again (although it seems a little too little, too late when the show has been off the air for years), why launch under Henderson?  What could she bring to the table that a hundred hungry young writers couldn't? 



*Did I do thaaaaaat?
**While I like the Shane Davis/ Ivan Reis school of design, I do appreciate stylized work.  I grew up thinking Breyfogle and Miller were pretty keen, after all.  McDaniel never feels so much stylized as he feels rushed.

My final days (as reported by social media)

A brief tale of social media and my final days, inspired by a conversation had with friends while watching the Super Bowl

-Ryan has checked in at St. David's Hospital (South) ER
-Ryan
"Ate some fish at the sushi place on Manchaca.  My face and toes are numb, and I barfed."
-Ryan
"I am tired of barfing."
-Ryan has checked in at St. David's Hospital (South) ICU
-Ryan
"Oh noes!"
-Ryan has checked in at St. David's Hospital (South) coroner's office
-Ryan has checked in at The Weeping Fern Mortuary
-Ryan

"Don't know if you guys have used LegalZoom, but I am way out ahead on this."

-Ryan

"Ok.  Jamie changed a bunch of stuff.  So no shrimp buffet, and they don't have coffins with airbrushed flames, but it should still be fun, so ya'll should come."

-Ryan

"Not many folks here yet, but we're going all night, so ya'll come on down."

-Ryan has checked in at The Pearly Gates
-Ryan

"Wow, this line is crazy.  Customer service clrly not a priority."

-Ryan

"Just noticed, I have no pants.  WTF?"

-Ryan

"This St. Peter guy is kind of judgy."

-Ryan has checked in at Firey Pits of Unending Perdition
-Ryan
"That went poorly."
-Ryan has checked in at The Hoary Hosts of Pandemonium
-Ryan
"I totally just saw Howard Taft."
-Ryan
"Just remembered, I was kidding about leaving my life insurance to @JefftheCat on the form.  I don't really have a corporeal form anymore, so someone should make sure that gets sorted."



and, scene

Quick Wonder Woman post

I wound up watching "The Line Up", a film noir with Eli Wallach. It started very slow, but its a pretty good picture once Wallach shows up. By today's standards, perhaps a bit clumsy, but its got its clever bits, too, and uses San Francisco to good effect.

The picture above is an Adam Hughes cover to Wonder Woman.  Frankly, I don't remember the story behind the cover, but ever since Waid and Ross's Kingdom Come, armored Wonder Woman has been sort of one of those "oh, she's really going to kick-some ass now" signifiers, like, I guess when the lions finally come together and form Voltron. 

I can take or leave CosPlay, as so much of its done poorly, but this young woman has been showing up as Armored Wonder Woman, and I tip my hat.

Reminder: Sunday 7:00 PM - "Big Trouble in Little China" at the Alamo Ritz

What better way to get a jump on Valentine's Day than to take your sweetie-pie out for an evening of thrills, chills, and romance? John Carpenter's seminal 1980's masterpiece, Big Trouble in Little China is mostly forgotten by people who don't like things which are awesome. However, those of us who do like things which are awesome will be at the Alamo Ritz on Sunday evening for a screening of one of the best flicks Hollywood ever produced.

Join us at The Alamo at 7:00! Jason, Jamie, AmyD and SimonUK will all be there!

SimonUK sends along this music video featuring the end credits theme song to the movie. Yes, Carpenter likes to do his own music for his own movies. Your mileage will vary.

GL Halloween Costumes Are Astoundingly Bad

If these are our intergalactic saviors, we are in trouble

Well, this just doesn't inspire much confidence or say "Galactic Guardian" to me.  Looks like promo images for Halloween costumes are already making their way to buyers, and costumes from the summer film Green Lantern are making the rounds.

First:  That is not the actual head of the guy on the left.  That dude's head is way out of proportion, and his body is lit and colored much differently than his head.

Second:  Good lord, why did you paint abs onto those sack-like outfits?  Its just a reminder of what is not happening under the flame retardant material.

Third:  The white dots on the fellow on the left make it seem as if he's supposed to be an animal of some sort.

Fourth:  The Sinestro mask looks less like Sinestro and more like "Functionary from a post William Powell Hollywood picture".

Fifth:  I will be very curious to see what kid and/ or party-going adult says "Oh, @#$%, yes.  I'm gonna be Sinestro!".  You know how I would have been Sinestro as a kid?  Jason would have found the GL costumes, and I would want to be Hal, also, and he'd be all like "no, no.  We can't both be Hal.  You can be Sinestro."  And then when the sequel rolled around, I'd be all sad because, @#$%...  Sinestro.

HomeAway pulls Superbowl ads - The one with the smushed baby

I suppose it will be the new annual sport to see which company will have to pull its @#$% of an ad campaign by Tuesday after the Super Bowl when their "edgy" ad campaign backfires.

I'm not sure who told HomeAway that accidental injury to babies was hilarious, and, yes...  I get that it was a doll, but...  you've got 30 seconds to sell a somewhat new idea.  Did you want to spend it smushing a baby? 

Its pretty clear HomeAway wasn't advocating baby-violence (the doll was labeled "Test Baby", etc...), so I'm not sure I buy that particular argument.  And I admit, I laughed when baby Carlos got smacked with a police car door in The Hangover. 

Mostly, I just wasn't sure their joke was funny, and it hadn't had 20-odd minutes of screentime to get to that point.  It was a one-trick pony of a baby getting smushed, and from the banner ads that popped up on Monday enticing you to upload photos to the HomeAway site (so you could smush your friends' faces), it was pretty clear somebody planned to build a whole campaign around the idea of the smushed baby.  Smushed baby = the next Spuds McKenzie.*

But credit where credit is due:  If I wanted to tell Groupon how to handle ad controversy, I'd point directly to what HomeAway chose to do:  pull the ad, and make a very apologetic public statement.  Its even okay to say "look, we tested this and we thought it was okay", as long as you finish with "but we were wrong, and we're taking steps to fix it".  I think people know that young companies try new things during the Super Bowl, and you need to try pretty hard to get folks' attention.  So, sometimes there's a misfire. 

Frankly, I missed the part where on Tuesday, they'd pulled the banner ads. 

I'd liked the Vacation-inspired ad from last year.  That had seemed kind of funny, and it made me remember the product.**  That said, I find the idea of living in someone else's home totally creepy, so, no... I didn't use the product.  God made Marriot hotels for a reason.

*if you have to ask who Spuds is/ was, you're going to make me feel very old
**anybody else get creeped out that Beverly D'Angelo seemingly will not age?

The Groupon Super Bowl Ad Fiasco and Not Getting How this Works

I was kind of sad to learn that Christopher Guest directed the Groupon ads during the Super Bowl.

For those of you not keeping up at home, Groupon hired mid-tier celebrities to begin a commercial seemingly earnestly pleading about an issue that draws charitable contributions or is a social issue.  Its a staple of Super Bowl advertising (see last year's Haitian relief effort).  But about half-way through the ad, the celebrity would basically laugh, say "F That!" and explain how instead of getting together to help, say, the whales, you should work together via Groupon to save money on extravagances for yourself.

Groupon works, I guess, by getting people to use social media to figure out that if, say, 50 people by a coupon from Groupon, they can all get, say, a pedicure for half off.

Groupon spent Monday online figuring out that, apparently, some people didn't find this approach funny.  And they really missed the part where, supposedly, Groupon was actually pleading for people to help the whales, the struggle in Tibet, etc...  Which, apparently, they thought they were doing.

Except for the part, of course, where they told you "ha ha!  @#$% those guys!  Let's rent a party boat!".

I'm guessing a few assumptions were made:

1)  30 seconds is a lot longer than it actually is
2)  People are actually engaging with your ad and trying to decipher what it is you're subliminally trying to get them to do
3)  Lots of people already understand the model of Groupon - they do not
4)  Anybody outside of the Groupon company was aware of their past as a company that developed similar technology for non-profits and charities - this has been a big part of their justification (that's some serious @#$%ing hubris, right there)
5)  People find making fun of fairly serious issues hilarious - they do not
6)  People actually notice what ads are for on a first viewing - again, they do not

Supposedly Groupon actually believed that making fun of these issues was highlighting the issue in question.  Which kind of makes me think nobody at Groupon has ever watched how advertising works during football games.  Football games are where commercials still make fun of people in glasses* and "regular guys" take pride in not knowing shit and believe that "cold" is somehow brewed into beer.  Seeing an ad that mocks not just a cause but the sort of jerk who would want to support a cause (you know, that guy in the sweater you know is somehow threatening and it just makes you want to smash his stupid face?) is not outside the realm of what happens during gametime every Sunday.

Did Groupon know this?  Maaaaaybe.  Picking real causes tells me they didn't think about it a whole lot.

You can't help but think a winking disclaimer and a URL to go donate NOW would have saved them a world of explaining.  I went to college.  Heck, I went to TV COLLEGE.  And I still just thought:  "wow, these guys at Groupon are incredible jerks.**"  Maybe the hosting I was doing and cooking of burgers distracted me too much from looking at the screen, and getting it, but "wow, these Groupon guys are incredible jerks" does not make me turn away from my guests, pick up the laptop and check out their product to learn their secret agenda for philanthropy via a dickish Timothy Hutton.

And maybe shame on me for thinking that Groupon might think that way, but have you been watching cable news lately?  Or looked at the internet?  A LOT of people seem to think its every American's duty to go out and buy a new hot tub before making sure kids get fed or learn how to read. Seeing someone jump on the "yeah, @#$% those guys" attitude seen in public discourse, news analysis, governmental budget cutting and what people seem to want their legislators to do... to further their business goals?  Of course I think someone is going to incorporate that sentiment into their marketing sooner or later.

And, no, I don't know anything about Groupon, so why not those guys?

In the CEO's blogpost, while kind of apologizing, he goes on to suggest that what they were doing was obvious (ie: it wasn't that we weren't funny or the gag flopped, its that you weren't clever enough to get it).  Which...  yes, you have to do some spin doctoring, but fer chrissake...  Just apologize, admit your ads sucked, sue somebody, and get on with it. 

*correction, they make fun of men in glasses.  Any woman in glasses in an ad during a football game is a sex machine gone incognito
**I did not use the word "jerks"

Catching up on Sunday and Monday

Sorry for the lack of posting on Sunday or Monday.

Sunday we watched the Super Bowl and ate until we threw up. No, I was not enamored with any particular Super Bowl ads, and, no... I don't like the Black Eyed Peas in general, or Christina Aguilera, so I see no reason to bag on them in particular now when enough people like them that they got hired to do the Super Bowl (even if both performances were sort of disastrous).

As per the actual game, I used to be a big Green Bay fan, but slacked off my viewing the past... 8 years or so. So, yes, I cheered for them and was pleased they won.

On Monday night, Jamie and I went to a screening of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, a seminal movie for sci-fi nerds, film score dorks, Dreyfus goons and Devil's Tower and mashed potato enthusiasts.

srsly, geology?

The screening was part of a "Film Score Focus" series, hosted by the guy who runs a radio show here on our local classical station, KMFA.  The program is dedicated to understanding film music. As my film score knowledge extends only to about six composers (one of whom may or may not be Prince), and I'm usually pre-occupied on Sundays, I rarely hear the show, but its a good time when I do tune in.

If you've never seen Close Encounters of the Third Kind, its Spielberg's wish-fulfillment movie about an unlikely way to get out of a dead-end marriage without involving Kate Capshaw. Wait, that is not what its about at all.*

Its about "Ohmigodlook. UFOs!"

The movie has a killer score and is just a lovely, optimistic film that makes you wonder: What happened between this and Hook, Steven?  I do think the movie might be a smidge dated at this point in structure, audio design, etc...  but that's okay.  The story itself is compelling enough and detailed enough that its still a good watch.

So, anyway. No real review. No real post.  Thanks to SimonUK for coming out for the show!

*Because the most fantastical idea is that Teri Garr circa 1977 would be someone I'd want to escape.