Friday Tweet-a-Long: "Beastmaster"

Movie:  The Beastmaster - 1982
Watch:  Streaming on Amazon Prime
Day:  Friday 06/05/2020
Time:  8:30 PM

hashtag:  #tigerdye

Let's pause the movie here and wait on my signal:

the name that means "quality?"

Let's watch a movie about a grown man who walks around like it's okay to keep your ferrets in a duffel bag.*  He also has a large cat and a bird.  And Tanya Roberts!  And many, many muscles.

It's a pre-"V" Mark Singer in a fantasy movie I haven't seen since high school.  This is one that if you ask any dude between the ages of 52 and 40, they will swear this movie is good.  But very few of us have watched it since, say, 1991.  We don't really know.

In fact, aside from Mark Singer wearing a loin-cloth and constantly surrounding himself with animals (get a dog, Mark.  Sheesh.), I don't really remember what the movie is even about.  Probably an evil army that needs defeating.



Understandably, Conan: The Barbarian costs something to watch, so we're not doing it.  I am also furious that Amazon has the balls to actually charge for:

• Krull
• Sheena
• Red Sonja
• Conan: The Destroyer
• Clash of the Titans

and many, many other films that I would immediately watch if they were not $4.  But Beastmaster is free to stream with Prime, so we're doing it.

Seriously, Red Sonja is the bomb.




*I mean, we all knew that guy in college, and he seemed colorful at first and then, eventually, you realized he just kind of sucked.  Ferrets are great, and I loved them when my brother kept a couple of them, but they are not meant to go places with you so you can use them in place of a personality.

In a Time of Virus: The Dams Break

It started with protests in several cities in the wake of the George Floyd murder.  George Floyd was a Black man apprehended by police under suspicion he'd floated a bogus $20 bill.  For this, he was pinned to the ground by his throat beneath the knee of a man with a gun, who was supported by three of his fellow officers, as the suspect begged for air.  This went on for almost 9 minutes.

The murder, and it was murder, occurred in broad daylight and on camera, carried out by a police officer in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  A lot of people will try to call what occurred as a police officer pinned a man's neck to the ground with his knee for 9 minutes something else.  Maybe they'll say it was unintentional (the video suggests otherwise), or just breaking some eggs to make an omelet.  But in the era of cameras everywhere, the past fifteen years taught us how to pay attention to how people are policed and how police do their work.  And how police officers do not police each other.

Tweet Watch: Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Dr. Freud is doing cartwheels in his grave

Watched:  05/29/2020
Format:  Amazon Streaming on "Full Moon"
Viewing:  Second, as it turns out
Decade:  1980's
Director:  Andy Sidaris

As was said during the viewing, "this movie was actually printed on toxic masculinity".  It's hard to remember how different things actually were in the 1980's, but different they were.  Or, at least, certain held viewpoints were much more in the forefront of popular culture.  And I'm not pretending like Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) was a popular movie or one most people alive during the era had seen, but it is emblematic of a certain kind of filmmaking that one could now hand over to a film-studies undergrad to get them to *really, really* understand the concept of "the male gaze" in movies.

Friday Night Tweet-A-Long: (I hope you've got $4 for a) HARD TICKET TO HAWAII

Movie:  Hard Ticket to Hawaii
Available at:  (for $4) Amazon Streaming
Day:  Friday - 05/29/2020
Time:  8:30 PM Central/ 3:30 Hawaiian time

Hashtag:  #alohard

Get ready for action, adventure, tropical settings and - I'm assuming - nudity.  It's Hard Ticket to Hawaii!  It's a NSFW foray into a very particular blend of 1980's movie making, merging automatic weapons with vendetta-mad baddies and athletic-wear models in shorts.

I've never seen it - so you cannot hold me personally or legally responsible.  And, yes, it will cost you $4 unless you sign up for "Full Moon" for a free trial, which... hey, maybe Full Moon is amazing?  How am I to say?*

A foretaste of the feast to come:







*looking at their website, it LOOKS like it's amazing

Forgot to Mention It Watch: Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)

Watched:  05/something/2020
Format:  Amazon Streaming
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1980's
Director:  Carl Reiner

I watched this weeks ago and a stray comment from Jenifer reminded me I for to post about it, but I did watch it. 

Now I'm too tired to write about it. 

Endurance Watch: Screwballs (1983)

Watched:  05/24/2020

Format:  Amazon Streaming

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1980's

Director:  I don't care

Back in the day, Hollywood settled upon a few formulaic items which generated endless, cheaply produced and ultimately very profitable movies.  Some took place in college, some in high school.  All were wildly horny, Rated-R and intended for a high school audience.  One such formula developed that deeply owed a debt to Animal House wherein a group of misfit dudes got up to increasingly randy, episodic shenanigans in pursuit of good times and bad sex.  The movies were an excuse to put boobs on screen, have young talent who couldn't act do Tex Avery character impersonations, lean into misogynistic and often racist stereotypes and somehow never quite be either as funny or sexy as you were figuring on.

PODCAST: "Superman II" (1981) - A Super Film Selection w/ Ryan and Stuart

Watched:  05/21/2020
Format:  BluRay
Viewing:  Unknown.  A lot.
Decade:  1980's
Director:  Richards Lester and Donner


For more ways to listen.


Everyone loves "Superman II", or at least that's how they remember it. Listen in as two guys who have seen this movie way, way too many times, read too much about it and - frankly - thought more about it than an adult person probably should set about discussing the follow-up to the super-tastic "Superman: The Movie". This one has the big bad-guy fight! But also, weird powers, a shiny disco bed, and will the real Gene Hackman please stand up?

The Signal Watch PodCast · 104: "Superman II" (1981) - a Super Film Selection with Ryan and Stuart

Music: 

Can You Read My Mind? - Maureen McGovern



Playlist:

The Signal Watch PodCast · Ryan's Random Cinema

Noir Watch: The Crimson Kimono (1959)

Watched:  05/24/2020
Format:  Noir Alley on TCM on DVR
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1950's
Director:  Samuel Fuller

One of the deep dives I'm likely to do in the next couple of years is dive into the filmography of director Samuel Fuller.  I've never seen a Fuller film I didn't like *a lot*.  Pickup on South Street, Shock Corridor, The Naked Kiss...  all solid films.  A while back The Crimson Kimono (1959) played the Austin Noir City film festival, but I wasn't able to stay for the movie, and now I'm very mad at myself for not sticking around for the movie (I think Paul saw it). 

Comedy Watch: The Lovebirds (2020)

Watched:  05/24/2020
Format:  Netflix
Viewing:  First
Decade:  2020's
Director:  Michael Showalter

I wasn't sure what to expect.  I don't love rom-coms, and there's a weird sub-genre of "couple gets caught up in a crime and run around downtown" sub-genre that I've never had an interest in exploring. 

This one, however, worked for me.  I generally like Kumail Nanjiani - and that continues on here - and I really liked Issa Rae.  She's pretty great. 

Anyhoo, not going to overthink this one, but it was the right movie for us this weekend.

Tweet Watch: Invasion USA (1985)

Watched:  05/22/2020
Format:  Amazon Streaming
Viewing:  Unknown.  Probably 3rd?
Decade:  Reagan 80's
Director:  Joseph Zito


I am not wasting my time or yours by writing this up or asking you to read about this movie.