Crampton Watch: Stay Out Stay Alive (2019)

Watched:  10/16/2026

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  First

Director:  Dean Yurke

Well, Barbara Crampton was not in this one enough to really justify the viewing, but I still watched it.

Stay Out Stay Alive (2019) is a spring of a short story stretched out well past the point where the coil lost all its tension.  It's borrowing from Treasure of the Sierra Madre, the last ten minutes of Last Crusade, 10,000 cheap horror films, and spooooky ghost stories, I guess.

It's hard not to acknowledge that horror films are (and have been) a way for would-be filmmakers to get noticed.  Some folks stay in this lane and just keep making cheap horror movies as there's apparently an audience of eternally-hungry horror fiends who will watch just about anything if you put Barbara Crampton in it.  Oh, wait... while we pause for station self-reflection.

But, yeah, that's another cheap movie trick.  Just hire a name talent and have them show up in a supporting role.  It's not the worst trick, certainly.  

This movie *also* trots out the idea it's based on true events, but it's based on all the stuff that happens 150+ years before the movie starts.  So, by that measure, every movie is based on a true story, I guess.

Our plot:  A group of early 20-somethings go camping.  At the ranger station, they somewhat arbitrarily decide the ranger (Crampton) is creepy and so they choose a different camp site than the one they were assigned to, lest she come find them.

At *midnight, in the woods* one of the campers decides to go for a hike.  

A lot of this movie is people doing things someone *might* do, but those things are not narratively interesting or satisfying, and may make you think that person is just an idiot.  But, it's also hard to know what choices the characters are making versus how are they being influenced by the wrathful spirits of the murdered Native Americans.  

thrilling permit-checking action!

You see, our midnight hiker fell down a hole and into a mine.  When discovered, instead of getting help, they keep going down into the hole.  And in that hole?  Gold.  Not narrative gold, just haunted gold. 

Our stars have different personalities, and that's definitely on the actors - many of whom don't even have a headshot on IMDB.  But they're working their roles, as thin as they are.  But they all get gold fever and decide to get as much as they can without drawing the attention of the ranger.  

And then a bunch of predictable stuff happens.  

I was bored to tears by this movie and kind of quit watching it after opening my laptop, and it really didn't matter if I looked away, because it was all the same conversations in a circle for the back 60 minutes.  

And then there's a moment where we see the ghosts, and it's just... awkward.

My pal JAL has a thing where he judges a movie seemingly more by "what were they trying for?  Was it new?  Different?" than even if the execution was entirely successful.  I think about that sometimes while looking at a movie - and I don't feel like there's anything novel or fun here.  It's more of an exercise and reel for our writer/ director than anything else.  And that's fine.  It's just not my bag, baby.

Anyway - you can confidently skip it.