Canon Watch: Conan The Barbarian (1982)

Watched:  04/12/2026

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  I have no idea

Director:  John Milius 

Conan the Barbarian (1982) is not for everyone.  And were it released now, it would have social media film people absolutely up in arms.  

I confess I've never read any Robert E. Howard, and maybe I need to fix that.  He is a Texas boy, after all.  But since the last time I watched the movie, I did read both the Prose and Poetic Eddas.  And what Howard was up to, and what this movie was up to - and what a lot of heroic fiction of the past was doing - all feels much more part of a lineage.  

The movie exists in a world far removed from a 2020's concept of "heroes act thusly" - something I am obviously behind as someone who felt like 2025's Superman and the TV show Superman and Lois finally got the character right on screen.  But that doesn't make me naive as a reader or person - that's just one type of character in one type of story.  

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This one is for Jamie.  Who is, in fact, tougher than the rest.

Emmylou Harris' cover / version of Springsteen's "Tougher Than the Rest" from her album Brand New Dance.

Well, it's Saturday night

You're all dressed up and blue

I've been watchin' you go out

Maybe you been watchin' me too

So somebody ran out

Left somebody's heart in a mess

Well, if you're lookin' for love

Honey, I'm tougher than the rest

Some girls they want a handsome Dan

Or some good-lookin' Joe

On their arms some girls

Want a sweet talkin' Romeo

Well, 'round here, baby

I've learned you get what you can get

So if you're rough enough for love

Honey, I'm tougher than the rest

Yeah, the road is dark

And it's a thin, thin line

But I want you to know

I'll walk it for you anytime

Maybe your other girlfriends

Couldn't pass the test

Well, if you're rough and ready for love

Honey, I'm tougher than the rest

Well, it ain't no secret

I've been around a time or two

Well, I don't know, baby

Maybe you've been around too

But there's another dance, baby

All you got to do is say yes

And if you're rough and ready for love

Honey, I'm tougher than the rest

Yeah, if you're rough enough for love

Honey, I'm tougher than the rest

Canon Watch: RoboCop (1987)

buy this poster here

Watched:  04/10/2026

Viewing:  ha ha ha ha ha

Format:  BluRay (Arrow Deluxe)

Director:  Paul Verhoeven

For some reason my Threads.com algorithm kept showing me people discussing RoboCop (1987), and I realized that it had been some time since I'd actually watched the movie.  Not that I have to.  It's one of the movies I've seen so many times I have recall of every scene in the movie - if not the exact dialog, I have the imagery of each scene locked in my brain.  

Why RoboCop?  I know I've mentioned this, but when I was 12, we were visiting my grandparents and my mom wanted us out of the house to talk about something with my grandparents, so we were taken to a one-screen theater in Ishpeming, Michigan where my brother and I watched the movie. 

Series Watch: Scarpetta Season 1

Lots of Spoilers

I don't know the work of novelist Patricia Cornwell.  But she's written something like 29 books about Kay Scarpetta, a medical examiner detective.  Quincy, but super dark.  

Y'all know I love me some Jamie Lee Curtis, and she co-stars and produces, and is the primary reason I tuned in.  It didn't hurt that the show features Bobby Cannavale and Ariana DuBose, who I also like a lot.  And Nicole Kidman, about whom I am ambivalent, as the eponymous Kay Scarpetta.

I just finished the eighth and final episode of Season 1, and...  It was fine?

Here's kind of what I think...  

Someone really loves those 29 books.  I believe they take place over time with characters aging and growing.  And someone came up with the idea that you could combine the action of an early book with a newer book (publishing wise, the first came out in 1990 and the most recent is like 2025).  So, we'd get some origin story for Scarpetta and her first case and jump to "where is she now?"  We can keep the story of the younger woman and pair it with the current version.  

Comedy Watch: The Naked Gun (2025)

Watched:  04/09/2026

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  Second

Director:  Akiva Shaffer

This is the second time I'd seen this.  Holds up.  I laughed.

Noir Watch: T-Men (1947)

Watched:  04/09/2026

Format:  TCM Noir Alley

Viewing:  First, surprisingly

Director:  Anthony Mann

When you think of film noir, you may get some evocative images in mind.  Deep shadow, fog, deep focus shots.  There's a few photographers who helped define this style that we're still reeling from (and stealing from) today, and among the top three or so is John Alton.  And, boy howdy, is this movie John Alton. 

So, if you want a movie that's a gritty crime procedural (with a voice-over hellbent on taking me out of the movie) and looks like a million bucks, this is it.   

It is also very much an Anthony Mann movie.  Tough, not afraid to go dark, and not talking down to the audience.  However, it's not a movie about bootleggers or guys running a numbers racket or any of that.  There's no dame manipulating men with a promise of sex.  This is a movie about undercover men of the Treasury department.  Thus, T-Men (1947). 

New Chabert for the Holidays? (I'm predicting July)

what the hell are they looking at?

 

I have a suspicion that Hallmark is going to release this Christmas movie during Christmas in July.

I don't know, obviously.  But it's still early April and today Lacey Chabert released the poster for this movie that Hallmark very loudly announced they were producing back in December.  And it *is* exciting.  A Disney/ Hallmark collab?  Like peanut butter and Nutella.  

So, it struck me...  Disney is likely making this movie to convince people to come to the parks/ resorts for Christmas.  And if you tell people to book a vacation for December in October, it's way too late.  But during the summer?  Still time to book that trip.  And sell your house so you can afford it.

Now, maaaaaybe Disney is all in on Christmas and wants to release this during the holiday season, but... ha ha ha... no.  This is probably going to be 3 parts Hallmark movie, 2 parts travel brochure.  And that's fine!  

So let's have a watch party

When they announce the release date, whenever it is, I'll organize something.  We'll have cocktails, toast Chabert, Mickey and Hallmark.  Just be ready to use Google Chat.

Wise Noir Watch: The Captive City (1952)

Watched:  04/06/2026

Format:  Amazon Prime

Viewing:  Second

Director:  Robert Wise

So, this is the second time I watched this particular film.  Here's the first.  Apparently just before COVID hit.  

A lot of what I'd say is in that first write-up.  But to recap:

The story is about an editor at a small-ish town newspaper figuring out that (a) the mob has moved in on his town and taken over the penny ante gambling operation bringing it into a combination and (b) the people of his town are maybe way more invested in a bit of low-stakes gambling than who gets the house cut.  

Our hero, John Forsythe, is pulled in when a private detective who tried to tell him about the racketeers is killed.  Then, a key witness is murdered and its made to look like a suicide.

The power of the press is quashed when local business interests pull their advertising, threatening the paper's financial stability.  

However, good 'ol real-life Senator Estes Kefauver has established an anti-mob task force, and Our Hero sees this as his salvation.  Kefauver, a ridiculous publicity hound, signed on *after* the movie had been shot, and added himself to the movie.

I think in 2026, the movie is a curious artifact, and not just because it reminds you Kefauver may be remembered beyond his expiration date thanks to his publicity stunts.  But also, in the past decade apparently we have up on making gambling illegal and sports books exist very profitably online.  There's even sports books right inside many professional sports facilities.  

Anyway, really excited about the epidemic of sports betting that's out there ruining lives.  (We really need to take a hard look at our weirdo culture of 24/7 sports talk and sports books available at the touch of a button.)

As a Robert Wise movie, first - it's from his production company, Aspen Pictures.  The budget isn't what Wise was playing with at the major studios, but his ability as a director is still absolutely there.  He's getting the most out of the talent on hand (most of whom you won't know) and there's some great cinematography that really leans into the tension. 

It really is interesting as it sort of refuses to have a single heavy at the center of the story, and instead is more of a crippling realization that when crime gets its hands into the right places and everyone wins, rooting out the problem is incredibly hard.  Who do you even go for?  If even the clergy thinks it's impossible to get their parishioners to quit the gambling or turn away from what they make on book?  Seems bad.  And I'm not sure if the Federal Government really is the magic bullet solution the movie presents. 

Hitchcock Watch: Rope (1948)

Watched:  04/02/2026

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  First

Director:  Hitchcock

This was my first time watching Rope (1948).  For some reason I have massive gaps in my Hitchcock viewing, and I do a poor job of just getting over myself and putting the movies on.  

From even back when I was in film school, I came to believe that this movie was mostly just one big technical trick, but that the movie itself wasn't very good - which is why I never bothered watching the film.  The description was always that it was a lesser movie.  But I literally don't know what the @#$% those people are talking about.  Rope slapped.

Yes, it is several long takes stitched together - and a technical trick trying to do something novel where the technology just wasn't there.  Film reels were only so long in 1948, and camera equipment was hefty.  And I'm kind of left to wonder if Hitchcock watched Lady in the Lake and thought "that's not the trick.  The trick is to let the camera be the camera but keep it running - let the audience feel they're in the room."

And, especially in the third act, I found all of that incredibly effective.  

It doesn't hurt that the movie has a few things I like in general:

90's Superhero Watch: The Rocketeer (1991)

Watched:  04/01/2026

Format:  Disney+

Viewing:  Unknown

Director:  Joe Johnston

I can't put my finger on why, but I just felt like watching a movie where someone blew up a bunch of Nazis trying to operate on American soil.  

So, I saw The Rocketeer in the theater back in 1991.  Even 16-year-old me was thrilled it was going to have airplanes and a guy from a comic book and pre-1960's styling.  And it was going to have that girl from Labyrinth!  

Watching it now is a completely different experience but no less joyful.  Back then I didn't get all the references and nods which the movie crams in left and right, using the movie almost as an excuse to reward Hollywood nostalgia nuts.

However, I recall being very *aware* of The Rocketeer as a comic property before the movie came out because comic fan mags and catalogs featured Dave Stevens' Bettie Page inspired art that was used to promote the property.  However, I couldn't find the actual comics.  And, a bit like some pics of P'Gell from The Spirit, it gave me some very wrong ideas about what the comic book was when I finally read it.