Rhonda Watch: Lionheart (1990)

Watched:  02/28/2026

Format:  YouTube/ Up All Night

Viewing:  First

Director:  Sheldon Lettich

Well, I'd made it to 2026 without caring if I ever saw Lionheart (1990), but this was the movie programmed on Rhonda Shear's Up All Night.  

Y'all, it's possible Lionheart isn't a great movie.

Jean-Claude Van Damme is a member of the French Foreign Legion hanging out in Djibouti who hears his brother was injured in Los Angeles, so he asks to leave, but is refused.  So he - being JCVD - fights his way out, jumps a ship and winds up in Los Angeles doubling for New York.

Back in the 1990's, Bum Fights became a thing.  Because exploiting people hadn't been refined into reality TV quite yet.  Anyway, Leon (JCVD) enters a bum fight and wins some money.  He pairs up with actual actor Harrison Page as a former fighter named Joshua who kind of does all the acting in this movie.

Anyway - they get more fights including one for rich people's amusement organized by a sexy but shady lady, Cynthia (Deborah Rennard).  She decides she wants to kind of own JCVD, but he just needs to get to Los Angeles where he learns his brother has died.  He goes and finds his brother's widow (Lisa Pelikan) who has amazing red hair, and he moppet of a daughter.  She rejects him and his help, so he uses Joshua to slip her money as is it's insurance money. 

 Eventually he has to fight a much larger guy and the French Foreign Legion guys find him, and that's our movie.

Chabert Watch Bonus: She Said/He Said - a 2006 Unaired TV Pilot

Well, every once in a while I'll hit the internet to see if I can turn up one of the remaining items on the 'ol Chabert-a-Tron 3000, and this time we came up yahtzee, finding the unaired TV Pilot for a little show called She Said/ He Said - a title sure to plague any SEO and likely made IT folks very sad if this got aired.

Fortunately, they were never in any danger of that.  This pilot is so bad, it's absolutely stunning anyone wanted to make it based on the script alone.  

But here it is (until it gets pulled down):

Wise/ Totter Noir Watch: The Set-Up (1949)

Watched:  02/27/2026

Format:  TCM on my DVR

Viewing:  I have no idea anymore

Director:Robert Wise

It took me a minute to get to The Set-Up (1949) as the next film up in my Robert Wise retrospective watch, mostly because I had just watched it last April.  That said - while I don't have a list of favorite films at this point, if I did, I suppose this would be one of them.  It stars two of my favorites with Robert Ryan and Audrey Totter, who both get to do great character work.  I'm not sure you get Rocky without this movie, but maybe - though I think they share a lot in their DNA.

Ryan plays an aging boxer - he's over thirty-five, and he's still boxing the small circuit, nowhere near the top of the card.  He's still living hand-to-mouth and has a girl who - until recently - believed in him, Julie (Totter).  The night we find them, she's lost faith.  She can't stand seeing him go into the ring and get pummeled, see him after when he can't even recognize her, his brains are so scrambled.  He's wrecking his health and their future for a dream that isn't possible.

Told in real-time (no fooling - like, to the minute) the movie follows roughly 75 minutes that will define the lives of both.

What's fascinating is that this movie has That Barton Fink Feeling - it's a movie about people living on the edge.  And those people are not just Stoker Thompson and Julie.  The movie has over a dozen real characters, and everyone is going through something.  

Heist Neo-Noir Watch: Crime 101 (2026)

Watched:  02/26/2026

Format:  Alamo

Viewing:  First

Director:  Bart Layton

If the title Crime 101 (2026) seems a little uninspired, what I think I'd say is - it feels like this movie is by someone who has seen and likes the same movies I've seen and liked.  And that's... fine.  If you don't watch a lot of heist movies, this may feel fresh.  It has a sprawling, winding storyline intersecting three compelling characters.  And it has an all-star cast that made the movie a real treat.  

Chris Hemsworth plays one of the modern takes on the post-Parker, post Le Samourai crooks - a loner with seemingly no life but the crimes they'll commit.  No friends, no family.  He's stolen millions in expensive jewels.  His connection/ fence/ maybe mentor is no less than Nick Nolte.  Mark Ruffalo is a cop who is such a rogue *he plays by the rules*.  He may be on the LAPD, but he's not just framing people to get his numbers up.  Also, his wife (Jennifer Jason Leigh!) is leaving him.  Halle Berry is an insurance salesperson (I missed the actual job title) to the uber-wealthy.  If you need someone to help you get your Matisse insured, she's your gal.  But she's also realizing her place in her company - and it isn't a rocket ride to the top.  

Disney+ Watch: The Parent Trap (1998)

 

Watched:  02/25/2026

Format:  Disney+

Viewing:  First

Director:  Nancy Meyers

I forgot I intended to watch the new Predator movie, and so when Jamie asked if I had something to watch I shrugged and mumbled, and so she pitched the 1998 version of The Parent Trap.  We just watched the original (me for the first time), and while I knew this film would not have any Maureen O'Hara, I figured it would be interesting to see the differences between Hayley Mills² and the version co-starring Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan.

I did not know that this movie was Lohan's first role in a movie - let alone the starring role.  I may not have been paying much attention to this movie in 1998, or to Lohan the past (cough) 28 years.  A lot of credit to everyone who spotted her as a talent and got her the role.*  She's super good in this.

TV Watch: Heated Rivalry

Well.  I've now seen all of the 2026 hockey/ romance sensation folks are watching over on HBO, Heated Rivalry.

The six-episode series charts years and years of a pair of hockey players who enter the pros at the same time, one a nice boy from Canada, and one a Russian who is such a bad boy, he smokes.  The two have an immediate attraction, and embark on what is initially a sexual relationship, but eventually becomes romantic.  Both are tortured by the expectations put upon them by their macho sport and all that surrounds that as closeted men.

I'm oversimplifying because, gang, this was 6 episodes, each running 45 minutes.  

I don't know that the show really held a ton of surprises, but it's not that kind of show.  It's more about taking you on the journey as best they can as the two move from casual and sexy secretive hook-ups to developing real feelings.  

Chabert Watch: High Hopes (2006)

the actual two leads aren't on the poster?

Watched:  02/21/2026

Format:  Disc

Viewing:  First (and last)

Director:  Joe Eckardt

Blogger's Note:  Well, pals, here we hit a major milestone of ChabertQuest.  As far as I know, this movie is the last live-action Chabert movie on the list that seems to be available on disc and/ or streaming.  Of the 90 films on my list, only five remain, and I am not sure two of them ever saw the light of day.  And the others may just disappear into the fog of time, never having had a physical or streaming media release.  That said, I'd love to finish off the list.  

As near as I can guess, this movie was a money laundering scheme.  Like, bring in money saying you have name people but spend none of it on the actual movie as you shoot in your house.

There's no obvious script to High Hopes (2006), it genuinely feels like they had a rough idea of what they wanted to do, but then they just kind of shot a movie - sometimes with lines, sometimes not - when they had enough actors in the room.  Or, they had rewrites and more rewrites on a movie that is 99.99% set up for a punchline that is telegraphed well in advance, bigoted and was never going to be funny.

Wise Western Watch: Blood On The Moon (1948)

Watched:  02/20/2026

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  First

Director:  Robert Wise

Blood On The Moon (1948) is much more of what I expect from Robert Wise as a director than our last watch - Mystery in Mexico.  

Here, Wise is directing a cast led by Robert Mitchum, with Robert Preston, Barbara Bel Geddes, Walter Brennan, Phyllis Thaxter, Tom Tully, Charles McGraw, and a host of actors you've seen in other films.

Mitchum plays a failed rancher from Texas who heads to Utah for a job offered by his buddy Robert Preston - and it seems that job is acting as a hired gun in a cold range war.  Preston has teamed with other homesteaders against big-time rancher Lufton (Tom Tully) and he's trying to screw Lufton out of his range and cattle.

It's kind of wild as I don't know if I've seen the homesteaders cast in this light before - usually it's one of the big-money ranchers bumping off homesteaders (see: Shane).  And there's certainly the idea presented the rancher has been hassling these people.

Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" Turns 40

If you weren't in middle school by 1986 or 1987, I don't care what you think about Frank Miller's four-issue series, The Dark Knight Returns.  Sorry, young reader!     

There was context to when the comic came out, an understanding of what was changing in media and culture and comics, and if you grew up on comics in the wake of Dark Knight Returns, it's like trying to tell people Revolver isn't a breakthrough album after all, or that Citizen Kane doesn't matter (which the internet is always more than happy to do, and seem quite foolish in the process).

I don't do this often - generally I'm a "hey, like what you like, but here's my opinion" guy.  But sometimes The Kids(tm) are just wrong, and I don't think you had to be there at the time - you can just have a reasonable knowledge of recent history, comics history and have read a book somewhere along the line.  And so, in this case, when I have seen 10,000 bad takes by bad take-havers, here is mine.

Mainstream superhero comics have some key years.*  

Tom Noonan Merges With The Infinite

Tom Noonan is one of the best actors I ever saw in a movie.  I've never gotten over his performance in What Happened Was...   

He was never a leading man, but every time he showed up, you were getting something new and unexpected.  Truly brilliant, even in stuff like RoboCop 2, or giving soul to Frankenstein's monster in Monster Squad.  And, really the perfect version of Dolarhyde in Manhunter.  

Over the years he retreated from big pictures and that's how we got What Happened Was...   We got other appearances here and there - he came in to one episode of Louie and blew the doors off.  But his days of playing types in big budget pictures was over.

But, man.  What a performer.