Totter Noir Watch: Under the Gun (1951)

Watched:  03/29/2026

Format:  Sketchy Russian Site/ Archive.org

Viewing:  First

Director:  Ted Tetzlaff

So, because the studios are dumb and don't make their older movies easily available, I watched this on a sketchy Russian site (link above).  And I wanted to watch this movie. In fact, I would have paid real American dollars to watch this movie.  

"Why watch this one?" you ask.  It has (in order ot interest) Audrey Totter, Richard Conte, Sam Jaffe and John McIntire.  And was a crime flick I'd not seen discussed anywhere except for one still I saw go by on social media a couple of months back.

Conte plays a mobster who has gone to Miami from NYC, and while there found singer Audrey Totter,* who he plans to bring back to New York and make a star.  Totter is wary, but knows this could be her big break, and so jumps in a car with Conte and his two heavies.

The group stops off in a small town on the Florida/ Georgia state line and apparently old business comes back to haunt him as a former victim tries to get him, but Conte gets the drop on him and shoots him dead while Totter watches.  At the trial, Totter gets a bout of conscience and says he murdered the guy (debatable, but okay) and Conte goes to prison.

Mostly it's a prison movie as Conte manipulates his situation in a Southern prison farm, eventually becoming a trustee who watches the other prisoners work, and even has a rifle to stop them should they escape.  

If you want a movie where Conte is an absolute menace, this is the one.  I always think it's a shame Conte is kind of forgotten outside of portions of the classic film scene - he's terrific in everything I've seen him in, and Hollywood had a ton of roles for him during this era.  

Totter doesn't have that much to do here, which is wild as she's kind of coming off some leading roles and her range is in no doubt.  Maybe she just wanted to go to Florida, where the movie was filmed on location in Clay County.  

Sam Jaffe plays a fellow prisoner who knows Conte is manipulating him into a deadly corner, and John McIntire once again plays the stalwart lawman.  

I'm not sure why this particular movie seems like its been shelved.  It's got name talent, a good enough premise and a pretty solid ending.  But these things rarely make sense to me.  

Also - there are multiple movies named "Under the Gun" and it struck me how funny it would be to watch all of them, but I don't think I'll do that.

*she's brunette in this, but it does nothing to change her Totteriness

Apeman Watch: Tarzan and the She-Devil (1953)

Watched:  03/28/2026

Format:  TCM

Viewing:  First

Director:  Kurt Neumann

I wasn't planning to watch Tarzan and the She-Devil (1953), but had it on, and Cheetah the Chimp was carrying a rifle and I was like "yeah, okay...  I'll finish this movie".  

This isn't Johnny Weissmuller, it's Lex Barker* as Tarzan and Joyce MacKenzie as Jane.  It also co-stars Raymond Burr(!) as a Great White Hunter-type, Tom Conway as a cuckold and Monique van Vooren as Lyra, the titular She-Devil.  

Lyra is mostly just a woman of means who knows her own mind and doesn't let men dictate her life, which makes her a She-Devil.  She also would like to be on Tarzan, but that's par for the course in these movies.  

Wise Sci-Fi Watch: The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)

Watched:  03/23/2026

Format:  YouTubeTV

Viewing:  3rd or 4th

Director:  Robert Wise

Hey!  Happy 75th birthday, Gort!

The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) is a landmark for science fiction, especially in cinema, and would help launch a thousand imitators in the years to come (thanks, Ed Wood!).  It's also an A picture, which for Sci-Fi in the post WWII era must have been something.  We're still five years before Forbidden Planet would launch the notion that would birth Star Trek.   Notably, it was released the same year as the doomsday epic, When Worlds Collide.  

A flying saucer arrives and circles Earth, eventually settling on the lawn across from the White House.  The whole world knows this is happening, and we get international news reports (is this the first use of this trope in a scifi movie?).  Hours after landing, the craft opens and a man in a space suit emerges, who a soldier waits all of about 45 seconds to shoot for no reason.  A giant, metallic robot emerges, threatening everyone with weapons - atomizing guns, tanks, cannons, etc... with a beam from its face.

Our hero, Klaatu the space man, turns out to be Michael Rennie - He looks and speaks just like a normal man.  When world leaders refuse to meet to hear him out, he becomes frustrated, steals some clothes and bolts from Walter Reed.  With great luck, he winds up in a boarding house where Patricia Neal is dwelling with her son, and he uses the name "Carpenter".

Valerie Perrine Merges With the Infinite

Our beloved Miss Teschmacher from Superman: The Movie, one Ms. Valerie Perrine, has passed.  She was 82.

Perrine starred in movies like Slaughterhouse-Five, Lenny and Can't Stop the Music.  She was such a fan favorite in Superman: The Movie that, despite being an original character for that movie, the character has shown up over and over in other Superman adaptations, from Smallville (Tess Mercer) to  Supergirl to the 2025 Superman film, played by Sara Sampaio.

Perrine had been ill for some years, but had maintained a presence online, seeming cheery despite her condition.

We'll miss knowing she's out there.

You can assist with funeral expenses by going to this gofundme.  

80's Fantasy Watch: The Neverending Story (1984)

I'm with the horse by the last 30 minutes

Watched:  03/22/2026

Format:  YouTube

Viewing:  Unknown

Director:  Wolfgang Petersen (I know, right?)

An absolutely seminal movie of my youth - I really grew to dislike this movie over the years.  Sorry, nostalgia fans.  

I saw it in the theater opening week, and Gmork, that big wolf, scared me so bad, I remember exiting for the men's room.  But that was fine.  I know I saw it a couple more times, but it wasn't one that landed with me as a kid in the way of other films.  I didn't identify with Bastian or Atreyu, they were just kids in a movie with neat FX.  It was fine, but not a favorite.

When I was 14, I was signed up to babysit a kid, and somehow got my hands on a copy of the movie so we watched it - and I realized - "hey, this movie isn't very good".  Like, it looks neat, it has some memorable set pieces.  But there's no story in the Neverending Story (1984).  I mean, there is - but it's all meta stuff about a kid who reminded me of the kids at school who just never got their shit together and always looked like they might cry (middle school was going to eat Bastian alive).

Action Comedy Watch: Novocaine (2025)

Watched:  03/21/2026

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  First

Director:  Dan Berk/ Robert Olsen

This movie hits that awkward spot of being "fine".  It's more or less what you were expecting from the trailer - a bit better in some spots, and a bit lacking in others, but when you saw the trailer you were like "I know exactly what this will be".  And you were 85% correct, with that remaining 15% not exactly blowing the doors off.

Novocaine (2025) should maybe have been like, one episode of a show.  The concept is both interesting and wildly limiting, and the story here is not really enough to fill the runtime of a whole movie.  And the movie around the concept is just boilerplate action stuff that feels deeply constrained by budget.  

But it's also not bad.  I wouldn't say that.  It's fine.  It's deeply gross at times, maybe a bit hard to watch in a scene or two.  And maybe weirdly should not have named the condition that our lead is supposedly suffering from, as it exists and sounds very rough.  It's kind of like turning epilepsy into a super power for a movie.  Maybe a fictional condition would have sufficed.

Canon Watch: Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Watched:  03/21/2026

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  Unknown

Director:  John Carpenter

I'm glad they kept making movies after Big Trouble in Little China (1986), but what, really, has been the point?

Sci-Fi Watch: Project Hail Mary (2026)

Watched:  03/21/2026

Format:  Regal

Viewing:  First

Director:  Phil Lord & Christopher Miller

Not so long ago, we read the novel of Project Hail Mary, which we discussed here at the ol' interweb log.

I enjoyed the book a great deal - just as I'd enjoyed Weir's first book, The Martian.  And like that book, it received the big screen treatment, which I thoroughly enjoyed and have rewatched in part and in whole.

First:  Go see this in the theater.  It will be fine on your TV or laptop, it is - however - a movie designed for the big screen and benefits from the image size and quality, plus the audio experience.  And maybe even the audience reaction.

Like the novel, the book is told in the present as an amnesiac awakens in a spacecraft with the other two crewmates deceased and, as he discovers, light years from Earth as the craft he's in approaches a nearby star.  Grace recovers his memories in flashbacks that fill in the gaps for himself and the viewer as he progresses, eventually realizing things about himself.

The impetus for the trip is that the sun has seen something called The Petrova Line form between Earth and Venus, and something about that effect means the sun is starting to dim - the predictable effects meaning Earth will become a frozen wasteland within 3 decades.  The star he's heading toward is not fading, and Earth needs to know why.

Sam Kieth Merges With the Infinite

We're sad to report that comic artist and story-teller Sam Kieth has passed.  

Kieth was the original artist on The Sandman, one of the greats of post Watchmen comics - basically originating the look and feel of the series before the comic strategically changed artists each storyline.

He moved on to join the Image explosion of the early 90's, launching The Maxx - a series that's been sadly mostly forgotten but was one of the best artist/writer creations of the era, deconstructing superheroes and their environment while telling a complex story about, essentially, what we'd now call mental illness on the fringes of society.

To give the kids an idea of how different things were in the 1990's, MTV turned it into a cartoon using Kieth's actual artwork and dialog.

Kieth has done work the past two decades, though not at the same rate or with the same acclaim as his 90's output.  But it was always a pleasure to see what he'd take on.  

In an era where what "good" comic art was being redefined on a weekly basis - The Maxx was hitting the stands alongside Liefeld, Jim Lee, Alex Ross and others who refused to work in a house style - he managed to bring a kind of soul to comics that much of the hyper-masculine and sexualized artists of the era favored, imbuing characters with quirks and personality via cartooning and allowing characters to - ironically - feel more real than photocopies of humans with different pockets on their uniforms.

But, also, man, Sam.  I'm sorry to hear about the legal issues around The Maxx.  That seems grossly unfair.  

Noir Watch: Crime of Passion (1956)

Watched:  03/20/2026

Format:  TCM Noir Alley on DVR

Viewing:  First

Director:  Gerd Oswald

I was a bit shocked to learn I'd never seen or heard of a movie co-starring Barbara Stanwyck and Sterling Hayden, with Raymond Burr.  And a noir, nonetheless.  

Look, over the years I've really come to think of Stanwyck as *the best at what she does*, something Eddie Muller discusses in his pre-amble to the movie.  She's just incredible in versatility, range, and believability in everything she does.  And this movie is no exception.  I love Hayden, but Sterling Hayden shows up and is Sterling Hayden in everything he does.  Raymond Burr has three modes I've seen - big brute with a brain, Perry Mason and yelling about Godzilla.  And that's okay.  But Stanwyck is the focus here, and she's fantastic.  

She plays a career-gal reporter - no longer a young woman - stuck doing a sob sister column and asked to get "the woman's angle" on stories.  During a murder investigation she first gets her big break and national attention, and meets a detective played by Sterling Hayden.