Showing posts with label chabert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chabert. Show all posts

Sunday, March 1, 2026

Chabert Watch Bonus: She Said/He Said - a 2006 Unaired TV Pilot





Well, every once in a while I'll hit the internet to see if I can turn up one of the remaining items on the 'ol Chabert-a-Tron 3000, and this time we came up yahtzee, finding the unaired TV Pilot for a little show called She Said/ He Said - a title sure to plague any SEO and likely made IT folks very sad if this got aired.

Fortunately, they were never in any danger of that.  This pilot is so bad, it's absolutely stunning anyone wanted to make it based on the script alone.  

But here it is (until it gets pulled down):

Sunday, February 22, 2026

Chabert Watch: High Hopes (2006)

the actual two leads aren't on the poster?




Watched:  02/21/2026
Format:  Disc
Viewing:  First (and last)
Director:  Joe Eckardt



Blogger's Note:  Well, pals, here we hit a major milestone of ChabertQuest.  As far as I know, this movie is the last live-action Chabert movie on the list that seems to be available on disc and/ or streaming.  Of the 90 films on my list, only five remain, and I am not sure two of them ever saw the light of day.  And the others may just disappear into the fog of time, never having had a physical or streaming media release.  That said, I'd love to finish off the list.  


As near as I can guess, this movie was a money laundering scheme.  Like, bring in money saying you have name people but spend none of it on the actual movie as you shoot in your house.

There's no obvious script to High Hopes (2006), it genuinely feels like they had a rough idea of what they wanted to do, but then they just kind of shot a movie - sometimes with lines, sometimes not - when they had enough actors in the room.  Or, they had rewrites and more rewrites on a movie that is 99.99% set up for a punchline that is telegraphed well in advance, bigoted and was never going to be funny.

Wednesday, February 11, 2026

The Cosmic "Mean Girls" Stars "Stranded on a Tropical Isle Movie" Connection

and no one ever saw these actors ever, ever again



When walking out of the theater for Send Help, the recent Rachel McAdams thriller directed by Sam Raimi, I confessed to CB that this movie had striking similarities to a recent Hallmark movie I'd watched, which starred Lacey Chabert.  In early January, I'd seen Lost in Paradise.  

Both movies feature someone in the corporate world landing on a tropical island where they kind of discover their true selves.  

I utterly forgot about the Rachel McAdams/ Lacey Chabert Mean Girls connection, perhaps because of the aforementioned Rachel McAdams face-blindness.  

Anyway, here's a whole article on the odd coincidence.  Heavy on the spoilers.  (Thanks, Paul!)


Sunday, February 8, 2026

Chabert Watch: What If God Were The Sun? (2007)





Watched:  02/07/2026
Format:  Disc
Viewing:  First
Director:  Stephen Tolkin


We're still working our way through the Chabert-a-Tron 3000, and this checks another box.  I think I've only found one more movie was released on disc, so after that... who knows?

A pre-Hallmark Chabert had such a weird career.  Maybe all actors have an odd, bumpy start, but this movie was made in the thick of the period where Chabert was doing a lot of roles in scrappy indie movies you've never heard of, but then she was getting good work in smaller movies like Reach For Me which feel like they're at least trying to do something a bit more meaningful.  

I'm not really familiar with the Lifetime Network oeuvre, but this movie is much more in line with Reach For Me than it is, say, Be My Baby or The Pleasure Drivers.  And, it's another one of Chabert's movies where she works with one of the greats.  This time, her co-star is Gena Rowlands.

The six degrees of separation with Chabert is bananas.

Wednesday, January 28, 2026

Chabert Watch: Be My Baby (2007)




Watched:  01/29/2026
Format:  Disc
Viewing:  First
Director:  Bryce Olson


One of the worst movies I've ever seen.  

Just amazing.

I found this disc for cheap a couple weeks back and have been putting this off because the reviews were not kind.  And for a long time, I was fine avoiding it, because it looked awful.  But here we are.

Be My Baby (2007) wants to be a particular kind of comedy about stunted adulthood and the world's most this-would-never-work scam.  It's entirely misanthropic til its confusing and unearned ending, and I cannot fathom how this got funding if someone didn't just have rich parents.

The script is a trainwreck starting with the concept.  The issues continue with the look and sound of the film - all very "student film" with awkward set-ups and occasional room echoes, etc... which do the movie no favors.  Completely flat lighting, etc.. Wooden acting.  Every take feels like "we're gonna get this in two takes and then we have to move on."  A product of a low-rent production.  Fine.  I've seen way worse.

But, my god, the actual story....

I don't know what was going on in Los Angeles from about 1995-2015, but the belief in the baseline shittiness of humanity that drives the whole premise of so many of these low budget movies is absolutely wild.

Monday, January 26, 2026

Chabert Freeze Watch: All of My Heart (2015)



Watched:  01/24/206
Format:  Hallmark
Viewing:  Second
Director:  Peter DeLuise

I am logging everything.  Normally I wouldn't have mentioned this re-watch, but this is what we put on while we were waiting to see if we were going to lose power on Saturday night.  

As your foremost Chabert movie expert, this is definitely one of the better written parts she's been given at Hallmark, and she works very well with co-star Brennan Elliot.  

If you're worried you're about to lose power and need to put something on while you panic mildly, this is perfectly fine.


Sunday, January 4, 2026

Chabert Watch: Lost in Paradise (2026)



Watched: 01/04/2026
Format:  Hallmark
Viewing:  First
Director:  Dustin Rikert

Job: head of a premier fashion design studio
Location of story:  Fiji
new skill:  jungle and beach survival
Job of Man: Chef!
Goes to/ Returns to: Goes to Fiji
Event:  Plane crash
Food:  fish



Again, I'd love to know what stats the Hallmark Channel has about viewership when they have Lacey Chabert in a movie.  Because someone ran the numbers and was able to show that sending a Hallmark crew and stars to Fiji was going to be profitable.

It's not the first time Chabert has wrangled a destination movie.  I've seen her in movies filmed in Malta, Ireland (once as Ireland, once doubling as Scotland), vague Europe, South Africa, Italy and I think Greece.  And for the US, I know she went to Hawaii for a movie.  I feel like she's been in Manhattan at some point.

Somehow Fiji feels particularly nuts, but off to Fiji this movie went.  

Thursday, January 1, 2026

2025 Watch: Movies By The Numbers


A Signal Watch Movie Year in Review: by the numbers

Each year we tally the number of movies watched and blogged, and then we break down what we watched into a few categories.  There's no real reason for this - no one gets a prize.  But let me do my little OCD companion piece to actually blogging all of these movies.

Movies By The Numbers - Previous Years


Let's Get Started


In 2025, we watched 255 movies.  Last year we counted 253 movies, so... basically the same.  

By clicking here, you can see the spreadsheet from which this data (these data?) are derived.

Here's a weird one - because we repeat-viewed so many movies (I even watched Jaws twice this year) we only watched 246 unique movies in 2025.  However, we're considering each movie watched where a post appeared as "a movie", so it's 255...  them's the rules.

Sunday, December 28, 2025

Chabert Watch: Sherman's Way (2008)





Watched:  12/28/2025
Format:  Disc
Viewing:  First
Director:  Craig M. Saavedra


This is my final Chabert film of ChabertQuest 2025.  Please clap.  

Well, first, this movie has a surprising lack of Chabert in it whatsoever.  She's in the opening scenes as our lead's girlfriend who predictably dumps him, which is the catalyst for the rest of the film.  I think she's gone 10 minutes in.

So, that's that.

Thursday, December 25, 2025

A Christmas Regret Watch: A Little Piece of Heaven (1991)

everything on this DVD cover is a lie


Watched:  12/23/2025
Format:  Amazon
Viewing:  Second (and last)
Director:  Mimi Leder

While watching A Little Piece of Heaven (1991) for ChabertQuest2025, I knew instantly that this would be a movie to share with Dug and K.  

As longtime readers will know, sharing terrible Christmas movies with Jamie's brother, Dug and his wife K, is a yearly tradition here at The Signal Watch.  And, for reasons I cannot guess, Christmas seems to really bring out some absolute nonsense, from failed comedy concepts like Santa with Muscles to the utterly sincere failures, like this one.

There are many flavors of "this movie is a bad idea" out there, and we've covered a lot of them.  But this TV movie commits the sin of, as Dug put it, insisting that the ends justifies the means.  Even if the ends are highly, highly questionable.  And the means are absolutely mortifying.  

This movie contains:

  • a very 90's take on an actor playing someone "special"
  • drugging a child
  • kidnapping a drugged child
  • light casual racism
  • 90's screenplay ingrained racism
  • child slave labor
  • child emotional labor
  • gaslighting within gaslighting, like an inception where we're passing through layers of bullshit that's knee-deep
  • nonsense rationalization
  • child abuse-ploitation
  • more kidnapping
  • transporting minors
  • abandoning pigs
  • basically casting all those horror stories you see about people kidnapping people off the street and keeping them in their basement, or imprisoning children, and turning the abductor into a hero
  • the greatest bullshit ending to a movie ever committed to screen
  • Kirk Cameron

But, fun fact, a very young Lacey Chabert received an Emmy Nomination for her role as "Princess".  

Anyway, somehow this movie was written, produced, filmed, edited and given a plum primetime slot on network TV.  And everyone thought this was fine.  Even the scene where it's clear someone is tossing chickens out of a window.  And all of young Jussie Smollet's dialog.  

Monday, December 22, 2025

Chabert Watch: Home Front (2002) (aka: The Scoundrel's Wife)




Watched:  12/22/2025
Format:  Disc
Viewing:  First
Director:  Glen Pitre


There's a lot going on in Home Front (aka: The Scoundrel's Wife - 2002).  Some might argue too much.  

A period piece taking place mostly during World War II, it's about a woman and her family living on Louisiana's Gulf Coast, who are pariahs already when the war breaks out.  It seems some years before the woman (Tatum O'Neal) and her husband may have gotten up to misdeeds that will be shared later.

It's a bit of a frustrating movie because it's a look at some real life things - that German U-Boats were off the US coast causing havoc, there was concern about internal collaborators, etc....  And some of this forgotten history is illuminated brilliantly, really, as O'Neal's family is awakened by a fire's glow off in the distance, out over the water as a U-Boat hits a shipping vessel.  

Meanwhile, life in the small fishing village carries on for O'Neal and her teenage son, Blue, and her daughter, Florida (Chabert), just aging into adulthood.  A doctor moves in nextdoor, but he has what seems to be a German accent (Julian Sands).  Meanwhile, the town Priest (Tim Curry) wrestles with alcohol.

Wednesday, December 17, 2025

Chabert Re-Watch: Christmas at Castle Hart (2021)





Watched:  I think 12/12/2025
Format:  Hallmark
Viewing:  Second?
Director:  Stefan Scaini

Job: Phony event planner
Location of story:  Ireland somewhere
new skill: Faking it til she's making it
Job of Man: Earl?  Duke?  Something./ Architect
Goes to/ Returns to: Goes to
Food: I forget


My intention with these posts is not to get overly meta, but when this movie ended I said to Jamie:

I rewatched this one because I barely wrote it up before, and couldn't remember it at all, and now that I've rewatched it, I am not going to remember it in three weeks.

Y'all, I didn't even remember to write up Christmas at Castle Hart (2021) the night we watched it.  And I only rewatched it because I felt I needed to write it up.

I don't know what kind of personal purgatory I've sent myself to with my whimsy, but here we are.

On to the show.

Chabert plays a caterer who gets fired from her gig because her sister (Ali Hardiman) is a real piece of work but Chabert is a good girl and supports her dimwitted sister.  The two head to Ireland to look up some family genealogy since they have the holidays and time to spare (and famously no one is short-handed for catering help during Christmas, and money is not a thing in Hallmarkland).  

Their plan:  When they get back to the US, they plan to start their own event planning company, but whilst in Ireland - drink?  

Well, instead of a relaxing time in the Emerald Isle confusion and lies abound, and Chabert poses as her former boss - an event planner to the stars, hitching herself to a major local event in a sleepy town in a generic North American version of "Ireland" based on post cards and Lucky Charms commercials.

Friday, December 12, 2025

Chabert Watch: Slightly Single in LA (2013)

Ah, the "look at our galaxy of stars" rom-com poster.  Always a promising sign.




Watched:  12/12/2025
Format DVD
Viewing:  First
Director:  Christie Will Wolf


Editor's note:  we've decided to Thelma and Louise our way through the remaining Chabert filmography.  I've been looking to see if I can find the Chabert films I haven't seen yet via very cheap used copies or online (one way or another).  


Ugh.  

File this under "this movie was never aimed at me" but also "never write fiction that is a thinly veiled version of a story about yourself".

Christie Will Wolf (here listed as Christie Will) is the writer/ director/ producer of Slightly Single in LA (2013).  These days she's a prolific director and producer of Hallmark movies, and I've seen some of them in whole or part.  She also was the mastermind behind 2011's Holiday Heist, one of the hardest-to-watch movies viewed during ChabertQuest 2025.  

The movie is a rom-com/ would-be Sex in the City about the foibles of a group of women and their token gay friend (Jonathan Bennet).  The story follows around Chabert's character, Dale, who has had bad luck in love.  But what's played for comedy is merely comedy shaped but at no time made me so much as crack a smile.  The movie feels like it's about someone with terrible risk analysis and decision making skills.  But the movie is written, directed and produced by one person - who seems totally unaware that the characters are not just unrelatable, but deeply unsympathetic.  

This lead character sucks.  But she sucks the least of all of the characters, so... yay?

Wednesday, December 10, 2025

Chabert Holiday Rewatch: The Tree That Saved Christmas (2014)



My original rules for ChabertQuest 2025 included not re-watching and re-posting on movies I'd already seen and written up.  Somehow it bothered me that I didn't rewatch this one even though I'd previously seen The Tree That Saved Christmas (2014) and wrote it up back during lockdown.  

All I remembered was that the snow was pretty much non-existent (in Vermont in December) and maybe you could see some blankets thrown down to double as snow.  So, I decided to give it one more whirl to make sure no Chabert-stone was left unturned during ChabertQuest.  

This may have aired on Hallmark, but, if so, it's a small, indie movie that was licensed to Hallmark, which was their model for a while.  These days, I think they own a lot more of the movies that they air.  Thus, older movies like this are out there, but not officially Hallmark at this point.  

This movie arrives in Year 2 of Chabert making movies for Hallmark-type outfits.  She'd made Matchmaker Santa in 2013, and by 2014 was in A Royal Christmas, which is kind of considered a Hallmark classic by Hallmark nerds, and is arguably the real start of Chabert's rise to Hallmark supremacy.  In 2014, for good or ill, she also made this movie.

Sunday, December 7, 2025

Chabert Christmas Watch: She's Making a List (2025)




Watched:  12/06/2025
Viewing:  First
Director:  Stacey N. Harding

Job: Spy for the Naughtylist
Location of story:  Unclear but LA?/ Snowy generic USA
new skill: Empathy
Job of Man: Restaurant consultant
Goes to/ Returns to: Goes to?
Event: Christmas Eve
Food: dessert pizza


Here you go, Randolph.

For a while, actor Lacey Chabert has been tapped The Queen of Hallmark Christmas.   At the start of 2025, Hallmark signed an exclusive contract with Chabert, and as far as I know, the only such contract ever signed by the media concern, locking in talent.  What numbers they had on hand to drive that decision must have been pretty interesting.

This year, Chabert would go on to star in a Halloween movie,  this movie - She's Making a List (2025) , and in January, she's starring in a movie about being stranded in paradise.  She has both her own product line in Hallmark stores, and Keepsake - a line of ornaments at Hallmark - released a Lacey Chabert ornament.  Not a "here's a Star Trek character" ornament, just a Lacey Chabert ornament.  

Just before starting on this post, NathanC sent me an article from Variety that states Chabert is filming a Hallmark movie at Disney World for Christmas 2026.  So, she's doing okay, if you're wondering.  

So, for Hallmark and Chabert both, a LOT was riding on the film.  Would all this investment pay off? 

Saturday, December 6, 2025

Chabert Watch: Hometown Legend (2002)





Watched:  12/05/2025
Format:  DVD
Viewing:  First
Director:  James Anderson (I fully believe this is an Alan Smithee name for someone)


Editor's note:  we've decided to Thelma and Louise our way through the remaining Chabert filmography.  I've been looking to see if I can find the Chabert films I haven't seen yet via very cheap used copies or online one way or another.  This one set me back about $6.10.

First, this DVD, purchased as "used" from a Goodwill had never been opened.  Not since the movie was released in, like, 2003 on DVD.  It was wrapped in some sort of transport wrap from the seller, then the original shrink wrap, and THEN still had the vertical AND horizontal security stickers across the packaging intact.

This movie was produced by a Christian production company and some involved are still in movies.  As I bought this on a 2000's-era DVD, it has bonus features including a full Director's commentary I really want to listen to.  But, more importantly, there's all kinds of bonus content about Jerry B. Jenkins - which the DVD itself says is the most famous writer you never heard of.  Apparently he's the mastermind behind this movie?  And (deep sigh) the guy who wrote the Left Behind books.  And a bunch of other stuff.  This seems to be the Jenkins family parlaying their book money into movies.

But, yeah, he essentially uses the bonus features to promote himself.  Amazing choice.

Sunday, November 30, 2025

Neo-Noirvember Chabert Watch: The Pleasure Drivers (2006)





Watched:  11/29/2025
Format:  DVD
Viewing:  First
Director:  Andrzej Sekula

Editor's note:  we've decided to Thelma and Louise our way through the remaining Chabert filmography.  I've been looking to see if I can find the Chabert films I haven't seen yet via very cheap used copies or online one way or another.  This one set me back about $5.

Truly a product of a particular decade, somehow The Pleasure Drivers (2006) arrived about seven years after that decade.  It's another LA-based low-budget crime movie, with this one peppering itself with vague philosophical aspirations, but what they are saying lacks any insight and is dumb.  And, the movie is entirely populated by characters who take their cues from how human beings behave from other movies, leaving us with weird third-generation xeroxes of motivation instead of anything identifiable as human.  

Everything about the film feels late-90's, part of the post Pulp Fiction indie boom.  It's three stories that loosely intertwine, and, of course, collide at the end.  But none of the three stories is very interesting and none of the characters terribly watchable.  

Monday, November 24, 2025

Chabert Holiday Micro-Watch: Maybe This Christmas (2025)



Chabert may have signed an exclusive deal with Hallmark for making movies and selling some lovely products in Hallmark stores, but after last year's slam dunk ad with Philosophy, she's now got a gig with Maybelline.  And while we don't believe she could possibly have a blemish, this year she's re-teaming with Dustin Milligan to sell concealer.

Over a handful of 30-second episodes, we get more story than most Hallmark movies.

All 5 episodes in one convenient video:



Sunday, November 23, 2025

"Hallmark Channel's Christmas Concert" (2019) might be the Hallmark Channel's Star Wars Holiday Special





This item does not appear on the IMDB for Ms. Lacey Chabert under "actor", but under "self" so I'd initially missed it.  But it popped up on Hallmark as an option, and I wasn't going to not watch it.  

So, what is it?

It's a bizarre artifact of where Hallmark was in 2019, I guess.  And the watchword for the whole show is "awkward".  There clearly was a lack of rehearsal time, and a spirit of "we're pros, we'll wing it" that doesn't play particularly well.  No one here is Bob Hope and keeping this on the rails.

The show is *not* exactly a concert, but kinda, sorta framed like one of those old-school Christmas specials where a celebrity pretends they're in their house.  Lacey Chabert is throwing a party where other Hallmark stars are her guests, but she's also acknowledging the camera (and sometimes awkwardly looking at it).  

One-by-one, a series of Hallmark stars come in, and then they each sing a Christmas standard in what I assume is not actually Chabert's livingroom and kitchen.  But it's not a set - I'm pretty sure that's a real house.  No set would be this poorly designed for television coverage.

Friday, November 21, 2025

Chabert Holiday Watch: Matchmaker Santa (2012)




Watched:  11/20/2025
Viewing:  First
Director:  Davis S. Cass Sr.

Job: Baker
Location of story:  Somewhere in California?  Outside of San Francisco
new skill:  Elfing
Job of Man:  Bitch Boy to a CEO
Goes to/ Returns to:  Goes to
Food:  Cookies


Editor's note: I was unable to find this movie during ChabertQuest2025, but saw it was now available on "UP Faith and Family", and so got a 7 day free trial.

So, new to me and not a Hallmark movie, exactly.  This movie is about a Santa who will stop at literally nothing to make sure Lacey Chabert and her boyfriend break up so that he may force her into a relationship with someone else.  Kris Kringle will bend the very laws of nature, create life, destroy roads...  

This Santa is mad with power.

Anyway, for a long time, and maybe still, a lot of the movies on Hallmark were technically independent movies.  I am unclear how it works now, but basically Hallmark would help fund movies in exchange for North American distribution.  But after X amount of time, these movies were back in the hands of the producers.  And so it was I now am enjoying a 7-day trial of the UP Faith and Family Network.

Part of how Hallmark had so many movies in the years where it seemed like a factory cranking out way too many movies, this was the trick.  Hallmark was essentially licensing very cheap indie movies, and part of them funding those movies was that Hallmark was given script approval for kicking in some percent of the film's budget.  

And, thus, the sameness of Hallmark.  They managed to pull off low-risk/ high-reward for years and people learned to write for them.

Thus, Matchmaker Santa (2012) is also, technically, Chabert's first Hallmark Christmas movie.  So, bit of trivia for you.

But you want to know about Santa and his unstoppable interest in getting people to hook up.