Format: Amazon Watch Party
Director: Don't care
In it's way, Edgar Rice Burrough's novel A Princess of Mars is maybe the most important book of the 20th Century that you've never read. Published in 1912 as a serialized adventure, it laid the groundwork for 20th and 21st Century science fiction and fantasy of a certain swashbuckling flavor. You do not get to Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers, Dune or Star Wars without the book.
It's had two adaptations that I know of - this one by SyFy Channel's unholy love child, The Asylum, and then the billion dollar dud from Disney, which I quite like as it's own thing.
This movie had two things going for it:
1) A book beloved by 12 year olds that should have been a slam dunk to adapt, even for The Asylum
2) Traci Lords
I am here to report that Traci Lords is a force even (especially?) when she's standing in the middle of a smoking crater of where a film was supposed to be. All told, if you came to see Traci Lords, there's not really enough, but is there ever enough Traci Lords?
The movie was... bad. Absolutely handicapped not just by a slim budget but by what they chose to excise from the book, what they added in, and then 79 minutes of the 90 minute run time all telling and zero showing. Which is a really fucking dumb way to use your money when it comes to retelling A Princess of Mars.
|Not actually a set pic. This is just Traci Lords on a Thursday.|