Saturday, December 31, 2022

Barbara Walters Merges With the Infinite




Journalist and television personality Barbara Walters has passed.

By the time I was aware of who was on TV, Barbara Walters was already an institution.  What I didn't really appreciate til college was what a pioneer Walters was.  There were other women in the newsfield, certainly, but Walters had become a national figure, hosting the national news and then becoming the person who had the most important interviews on television (that used to be a thing that was part of journalism before Oprah made soft-ball interviews her bag).  

Through countless stories delivered, interviews, and - of course - establishing the TV hot topics program The View (back before the show was about talking about the show itself, it was intended to discuss current events) - Walters brought the world to people's living rooms for decades.  

Friday, December 30, 2022

Mystery Watch: Glass Onion (2022)




Watched:  12/29/2022
Format:  Netflix
Viewing:  First
Director:  Rian Johnson

I don't really know how to talk about this movie.  A podcast would be better.  

This was a very, very good film.  But we knew that going in, I think.  

Look, I've never seen a movie by Rian Johnson I didn't like.  His turn to becoming the cinematic Agatha Christie of the 21st Century is more than welcome in a landscape of movies that - in lieu of being about superheroes - have mistaken drudgery and being sad and/ or tortured as film for grown ups.  Sometimes you just need a clockwork mechanism of a mystery movie with deeply charismatic talent, an amazing backdrop, and a satisfying ending.  

But the movie isn't just (remarkably) well written.  It's hard to argue with the cinematography and choice of locations, which gives the movie a unique multi-level perspective.  And, of course, editing.  There are a lot of characters, a lot of parts, a non-sequential timeline and a sprawling geography to the main location.  It's a remarkable feat to see how this all still makes perfect sense.

Anyway, I'll either podcast it later or give it a go with a longer write-up.  Maybe.  

In the meantime: recommended.

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Doc Watch: Call Me Miss Cleo (2022)

except, literally everyone knew she was a fraud and the network a scam?



Watched:  12/28/2022
Format:  HBOmax
Viewing:  First

I dunno.  

This doc is weirdly under-developed and under-researched for something that's getting a fairly well-promoted release on HBOmax.  If I was Perry White to this team's Lois Lane, I'd say "you have a lot of facts.  You haven't proven anything and there's no story.  Get back out there."  The doc feels like it's something handed in at a deadline, not something actually something complete, and the final bit that tries to give Miss Cleo absolution feels like the last great con a successful con-artist pulled from beyond the grave.

Maybe the spirits DO talk to us!

But you'll get more facts without any of the tediously dramatic build up out of the anemic Miss Cleo Wikipedia article.  Somehow the doc misses that she had a child?  

Christmas Watch: A Christmas Story (1983)




Watched:  12/24/2022
Format:  TNT, baby
Viewing:  ha ha ha ha
Director:  Bob Clark

No real need to write this up.  Annual watch of Christmas Story (1983) as we wound down from Christmas Eve festivities.  

Way, way back at episode 34, Laura and I talked about this movie as our very first Christmas episode ever!



A Century of Stan Lee



Today marks the 100th birthday of Stan Lee.  

It's hard to measure the impact of Stan, but it's sure looking like Stan, Jack and the Merry Marvel Bullpen may be among the most important and influential writers and artists of the past century.  

Among comics fans, Stan's legacy and life are hotly debated, but there are a lot of versions of the truth.  I understand the various viewpoints, but life is complicated and if anyone understood that and related it in a medium often caricatured for its simplistic morality plays, it was Stan.

When I think of Stan, I think of a guy who wanted to push a medium reeling from years of being a political pinata, that had become a punchline and a disgrace for many in America, and tell stories that were both wondrous and relatable.  That's not nothing.  Making gods feel like people you could talk to is no mean feat.  And, of course, the Mighty Marvel Manner of storytelling he pioneered with his colleagues has come to define how we tell serialized stories, inter-connected stories, and allowed for flawed and multi-dimensional characters.  

In the end, this meant Stan helped push the medium to become something of interest to older readers, college kids and created the life-long comics reader and fan and make the fantastic something that climbed out of the kiddie-lit gutter and into the mainstream - even if it meant getting off the newstand and into theaters, like he'd worked towards for decades.

Like all lives, Stan's was complicated.  The amazing, explosive success of the Marvel Universe of characters didn't come until Stan was on the edge of retirement - after decades of trying.  It took a generation of kids raised on Stan's characters in television, cartoons, comics, t-shirts and toys to become adults and start making the movies we always knew were possible - because those characters truly did inspire us and make us want to be better people.


Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Remembering Carrie Fisher



Today marks the sixth anniversary of the passing of Carrie Fisher.  Still miss her.

Monday, December 26, 2022

Christmas Noir: Blast of Silence (1961)




Watched:  12/24/2022
Format:  TCM
Viewing:  First
Director (Writer, Starring):  Allen Baron

SPOILERS

There are a lot of movies about lone assassins being lonesome and weird and (spoilers) meeting their end.  It's frankly shocking how well this formula works.  Honestly, once you see "oh, this is about an assassin and it's not a major studio release?" you can swiftly follow that with  "Well, he'll die at the end."  Because there's something inevitable and inexorable about the very set-up.  If someone is selling you "noir" and it's about a hitman and the hitman isn't dead at the end, you can ring the shame bell.

So it becomes less about "what are they doing?" and more of "how are they doing it?" and - if I can ask - "what are they saying?"  

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Happy Christmas Day. Peace on Earth.

 


Merry Christmas, pals!  May you have peace today, and may you share it far and wide in the coming year!

Saturday, December 24, 2022

Merry Christmas, Everyone. May You Find a Light in the Dark on Your Silent Night.




Well.

Merry Christmas.  

I hope your Christmas Eve is peaceful.  I hope it is quiet.  I hope you are where you want to be, even as I know that's too few of you.

It's a night of anticipation, and in the morning the sun will rise.  We get another chance to be better than we were.  

May your Christmas bring you some joy.  

Here's to all of us here on the good Earth.



Christmas Watch Party Watch: Holiday In Handcuffs (2006)

you will feel like Mario Lopez here once you hit "play"



Watched:  12/23/2022
Format:  Amazon Watch Party
Viewing:  First
Director:  Ron Underwood

Sometimes I wish every movie came with a history of what happened from the screenplay to the final product.  Otherwise, such as in the case of Holiday in Handcuffs (2006), I - the viewer - am left wondering "what happened here?  who did this?  who did they do it for?  and why did they do that?"  

My go-to move is to assume massive fiddling went on as the movie went through development, or that there were re-shoots.  This movie is too cheap for re-shoots, so I'll go with Execs Had Ideas and it was going on Disney's "ABC Family" network, a network that has been many, many things and the catch-all for Disney product with no obvious home.

Directed by the same guy who brought us Tremors and City Slickers before sliding into Mighty Joe Young and The Adventures of Pluto Nash and eventually lots of TV, I have no idea what hand he actually had in this film.  Look, I watched all of Inhumans (twice!), which was also a product of ABC execs, and I'm still dealing with the scars of that misadventure.  I refuse to believe anyone making product for ABC networks isn't getting it from all sides.

Here's my suspicion: 

Ava Gardner at 100



Today marks the 100th birthday of actress and icon Ava Gardner.  We'll not try to capture her biography here, but suffice to say - she was one of the greats.  It's hard to imagine the films she stars in casting anyone else, and her personal life was the kind of stuff they make movies about.  

There's an Ava Gardner Museum in Smithfield, NC that I hope to visit one day.  

Here's to a career and legacy and people still talking about you at a Century.  Happy birthday, Ava.


Hallmark Watch: A Glenbrooke Christmas (2020)




Watched:  12/21/2020
Format:  Hallmark?
Viewing:  First
Director:  David I. Strasser

This movie wasn't very good.  

Basic "I'm lying about who I am" plot as an heiress goes to an idyllic smalltown and falls for a fire fighter in generic Hallmark style.  The movie comes remarkably close to saying some true things about what happens when rich people start eyeing a community as the next hip place to move (they ruin it.  See: Austin), and that rich people are weird and don't relate well to non-rich people (in my experience - about 50/50.  It surfaces in subtle ways to absurd ways.).  This, of course, makes the rich person mad.  And the movie has to back pedal and say rich people are totally normal and don't fuck up the economy of middle-class towns.

The excuse-plot is that the heiress came to hear Christmas bells her parents loved, and the carillon is broken (the movie refuses to use the word carillon for mysterious reasons, and keeps describing the carillon instead.  You can teach people new words, Hallmark.).  The cost of repair is $10,000.  Not chump change.  But the hero is a millionaire many times over.  That's a write-off for her if she fixes it, but the movie refuses to let her just find a way to and over a bag of cash and instead leverages her rich pals to buy Kinkaid knock-offs from local teens.  

Discovering that (a) his new ladyfriend is a millionaire and not who she said she was, and (b) knowing that even if he got past that, she and he will have nothing in common, our firefighter reasonably calls it a day.  But she doodled him in a sketchbook, and rather than seeming creepy, he decides this means its love and he was wrong about her and the situation, and he judged her wrongly.  

Eh.  Did he, though?  In some ways, you'd really have to think "I've been dating a sociopath."  But at the same time, deciding to rush into marriage with a multi-millionaire before the endorphins clear and she thinks of a pre-nup is a baller move.   

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Friday Watch Party: Holiday in Handcuffs

we're going to be studying the composition of this poster for decades to come




What could be more merry than watching 90 minutes of Unlawful Restraint charges pile up?  Not to mention assault, etc...

Join us as I get in a trifecta of Saved by the Bell alumni in Christmas movies in this Mario Lopez/ Melissa Joan Hart pair-up.  (See:  Lucky Christmas and Northpole).  

Is it good?  Probably not.  Is it free?  It depends on how you categorize your Amazon Prime membership and viewings.  

Anyway, you'd hope something with handcuffs this much at the center of the film that isn't The Defiant Ones would be kind of fun.  I don't know how any of this set-up will play out in a way that doesn't work a bit like the Saw franchise, but that doesn't seem very Christmassy.  And it's not, like, *fun* handcuffs.  It's an ABC Family original film.  

It's also got Markie Post!  Who doesn't love Markie Post?  No one.  She was great.

But I am sure we can make something out of this.

Day: Friday December 23rd
Time:  8:30 Central, 6:30 Pacific
Service:  Amazon
Price:  I think it's streaming for free with Prime

(link live 10 minutes before showtime)

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Audrey Totter at 105

 

Totter in "The Woman They Almost Lynched"

Today marks the 105th anniversary of the arrival of actress Audrey Totter.  

Join us in celebrating Audrey!  Here's all the posts we've done about Totter's work.  

Monday, December 19, 2022

VidCast - PodCast 226: "The Thin Man" (1934) - a Day-Drinking the Holidays PodCast with JAL and Ryan


Watched:  12/18/2022
Format:  BluRay
Viewing:  Unknown
Director:  W.S. Van Dyke 



Join JAL and Ryan as we get into the gin, watch a bona fide cinema classic, ponder what makes it great, and toast the hell out of each other. It's a festive good time as we talk classic mystery, the fading of memory around even the best of stars, and Ryan probably overplays his hand discussing Myrna Loy.


Video PodCast




Audio Streaming PodCast



Playlist Holidays 2022



Noir Playlist

Annual Holiday-Noir Watch: Lady in the Lake (1947)



Watched:  12/18/2022
Format:  Amazon
Viewing:  Unknown
Director:  Robert Montgomery

I've now made it an annual tradition to at least put on Lady in the Lake (1947), the incredibly bizarre adaptation of a Raymond Chandler-penned Philip Marlowe private detective classic.

Parts of this movie have a chill that you only get when you're not in the warm embrace of home and hearth on Christmas.  Some parts are very badly conceived, pushing the conceit of the 1st Person POV to the breaking point of usefulness, and no one who worked on the movie seems to care much about the actual plot of the novel -  they reduce major scenes from the book to minor exchanges of expository dialog, and it's incredibly confusing unless you're aware of the book or listen super hard.  The idea is that the characters are so great, you want to spend time with them, and it's not an entirely misplaced notion.

But, holy cats, for being the director, Montgomery has no idea how hardboiled dialog is delivered.  I understand not wanting to imitate Bogart or Powell, but he adds a weird, wry laugh to lines that don't make any sense at times.  It's... not great.  Especially since you only hear and don't see him.

Anyway - you have to spend some time with Audrey Totter every holiday (her 105th birthday anniversary is the 20th), and this is a pretty good way to do it.

A while back, Jamie and I podcasted the film.  Give it a listen!



we should all look so good woken up at 3:00 AM


Sunday, December 18, 2022

Grinchy Watch: How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)




Watched:  12/16/2022
Format:  Amazon Watch Party
Viewing:  First
Decade:  2000's
Director:  Ron Howard

People love this movie.  I was aware of that, but had no interest in the film when it came out. I'd read the book a lot as a kid, and I'm a purist when it comes to Chuck Jones and my enjoyment of his work.  And aside from some of the finest Looney Tunes installments, the annual TV special of How the Grinch Stole Christmas was his signature work.  As a collaborative work (Jones, Seuss, Karloff, Ravenscroft, Poddany) it's hard to top.

Director Ron Howard never saw a project he couldn't make more mediocre by running it through his Hollywoodtron-3000.  He understands the beats of movies, and deploys bombastic music and whatnot to get the audience on board as he takes them through their paces, but the movies always wind up feeling hollow and less than the sum of their parts.  Yes, I know he was funny on Arrested Development.  But I don't know how you take The Grinch and make a faux Tim Burton film that also manages to reframe the original story to such a degree that you miss the point of a children's book.

Look, part of the joke of the original Grinch book is that he's just a bastard.  No one made him that way.  We can speculate about shoe sizes and head fittings, but as far as we're concerned, he's just the local jerk who watches from afar.  He simply is.  But the original book is 64 pages, with a few sentences per page and lots of art.  The movie needs a decent runtime, and so the filmmakers (and Howard is a director, but he's also basically a producer) padded and padded and padded some more!  They padded this out til their padders were sore!

I mean, they had to pad the book for a 20-something minute cartoon version of the book.  

So - we get a backstory for the Grinch where we see maybe it's nature that the Grinch is an asshole, but also it turns out those harmless Who's in Whoville are frightened, judgy assholes who elect the worst of them to run things.  

Saturday, December 17, 2022

Hallmark Watch: Northpole (2014)




Watched:  A few weeks ago
Format:  I don't remember, but I didn't pay for it
Viewing:  Second
Director:  Douglas Barr

This movie is a super-weird remnant from a different era of Hallmark film where they went in on special FX and name talent.  Usually, like, 1 name talent per movie, and it's not Sandra Bullock.  But it is Tiffani Theissen, who I think we can agree holds a special place in the hearts of us early-90's teens.  (I mean, I think I've been very clear I was a Jessie Spano man, but that's a different post for a different day).  

Theissen is a good actor!  She could have been an interesting Lois Lane.  And here she plays an investigative reporter, don't you know.  But also a single mom dealing with the passing of her husband, and moved to a small-ish town.  And she thinks her son is going crazy (my words, not hers) because her son is legit given a 2-way radio so he can communicate with a very real elf in the form of a spunky teen (Bailee Madison).  

It's a lot of plot, as she tries to sort out what looks like corruption in town (it is not, and this plot point makes almost no sense and pitches sentiment over how things work in a functioning democracy, but whatevs).  And her son is navigating trauma, the very real existence of Santa and Mrs. Claus and a whole civilization of eternal elves.  And homework.  There's so, so much going on.  Oh, and Theissen kinda finds at least a make-out buddy in her son's teacher, which is probably going to cause the teacher HR issues.

But, like, this movie has a budget for Clementine the Elf to fly around in a sleigh, grab the kid, take him to The North Pole - which we see from an aerial view and it's pretty cool! - and then kinda elaborate sets that are the North Pole.  

I'm not sure this could have been released to theaters, but for 2014, it's a big production for deep cable, and a reminder that Hallmark was not always just young actresses with bad hair and guys with two weeks of beard growth.   

Binge Watch: The Binge - It's A Wonderful Binge (2022)




Watched:  12/16/2022
Format:  Hulu
Viewing:  First
Director:  Jordan VanDina

Well, I was way, waaaaaaay too sober while watching this movie.  I also hadn't seen the first one.  But our Pal Paul worked on this film and I wanted to give it a go.  

First - the cast on this thing is bananas.  I believe Kaitlin Olson is one of the funniest people in anything, and this movie is not here to disabuse me of that notion.  She's good in the first act, and by the third - sublime.  Tim Meadows is a favorite in this house.  Danny Trejo!  Paul Scheer.  Nick Swardson.  Tony Cavalero AND Patty Guggenheim?  (their scenes are hysterical)  Karen Maruyama (I don't know who came up with her character, but slow clap).  

Anyway - all people I like.  

The movie's stars are Eduardo Franco (Stranger Things S4), Dexter Darden (Saved By the Bell), Connie Shi (Law & Order), and Marta Piekarz (Queer as Folk).  Young folks!  But really able to carry a film.

The movie had two strikes for me out of the gate - but those were on me.  1)  Like I say, I was stone cold sober watching the movie, and this is not that movie.  2) I did not see the first installment.  Not 100% necessary, but the movie doesn't spend much "getting to know you" time and leaps into "so how are our friends now?"

So - if you've not seen the original - the set-up is not complicated.  The Feds decided in 2027 on a total prohibition of all drugs and alcohol, but (like The Purge) one day per year it's no holds barred.  That day is called "The Binge".  In 2035, they've realized people can't handle Christmas minus a little chemical help, and so The Binge is moved to Christmas, and it's immediately and obviously a bad idea.  

One of our heroes is trying to ask for his ladyfriend's hand in marriage, the other goes on a drug-induced journey akin to It's a Wonderful Life.  I don't want to give too much away.  

Anyway - if you're looking for something to watch that's completely bananas, but not to watch with your parents or kids - it fits the bill.  We're well documented here for enjoying movies that end in total chaos, and this is that.  But it's also a really funny journey along the way, keeping things moving at a rocket pace - so even if a gag isn't a slam dunk, there's another coming in a few beats.  

Like other "@#$% is out of control" comedies like a Harold and Kumar movie, it's a hang-out movie.  You like the characters and want to spend time seeing what they're up to.  The pitch could fit with a real-time TV show, I guess, but works well for a movie with yearly installments.  But the characters - who could be obnoxious and cringey - are really good springboards for a lot of fun stuff, and the talent are likeable.  Casting young folks like this against big talents like Olson and Trejo makes for a great mix.

Anyway - you will also notice the audio is AMAZING in this movie.  Hire Paul. We need to keep him busy.


Friday, December 16, 2022

Friday Watch Party: "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"




I was not of a mind in 2000 to go see the Ron Howard-directed adaptation of Dr. Seuss's perennial holiday classic, How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  But I've mellowed, and in careful consultation with Jenifer, we've chosen this movie to extend the Holiday Watch Party festivities.

Jim Carrey is a fine actor, I find him very funny.  I find this suit unnerving.  What I've seen of Jeffrey Tambor in the movie also makes me want to burn Whoville with fire.  I do not tolerate uncanny valley stuff in CGI very well.  Do it in real life, and my blood runs cold with the Lovecraftian implications.

I don't know what else is in this 105 minute movie that wasn't covered in the children's book or 30 minute TV show, but it does seem the filmmakers were like "we should unnerve Ryan by putting the lovely Christine Baranski in this and make her a sexy Who.  That should @#$% him up but good."    

my grinchy heart will grow three sizes that day


I don't know what the context is of this whole scenario, but let's find out. Here's to Opie Cunningham.

Day:  Friday 12/16/2022
Time:  8:30 Central
Length:  1:45
Service:  Amazon
Price:  $4

(link live 10 minutes before show)

Muppet Watch: The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)




Watched:  12/15/2022
Format:  Disney+
Viewing:  Unknown
Director:  Brian Henson

First things first - to watch the full length version of the movie including the previously cut song, here's what you do:

When you find the movie on Disney+, go to the movie, and then look at the "Extras".  Select "Full Length".  

We didn't do this, we just clicked "watch movie".  When I was expecting the song to show up, it didn't. 

So, the game was afoot.  I went about figuring it out after the credits.  

The default version on Disney+ does not have the song "Love is Gone" - but it's right there!  If you click "Extras" associated with the film, and it provides the option for "full length".  Or just watch the song as a stand-alone video.  It's all there, you just have to click 2-3 more times to get to it.




Thursday, December 15, 2022

PodCast 225: "Gremlins" (1984)- a Holiday 2022 PodCast w/ Stuart and Ryan

 


Watched:  12/10/2022  
Format:  HBOmax
Viewing: Unknown
Decade:  1980's
Director:  Joe Dante




What's more festive than a pack of insane asexually reproducing hyper-intelligent chaos monsters on Christmas Eve? Nothing. We get stuck in the chimney of good cheer as we talk this 1980's favorite which has become an unlikely holiday staple. So, dunk yourself in water, grab a bite after 12, and turn off the lights. It's time to talk The Best Movie Audience Ever.


SoundCloud 


YouTube


Music:
Gremlins Rag - Jerry Goldsmith


Holiday Selections 2022

Doc Watch: Idina Menzel - Which Way to the Stage? (2022)

...i guess she found it



Watched:  12/15/2022
Format:  Disney+
Viewing:  First
Director:  Anne McCabe/ Eric Maldin

This is a thing I watched.  I guess it's a documentary?  It's 90 minutes (which I missed when I turned it on, thinking it would be short) and that's movie length.  So here we are.

The film follows Broadway, movie, recording, etc... star Idina Menzel as she tours across the US, heading toward what the movie posits is a lifelong goal of Menzel to perform at Madison Square Garden.  The tension is a bit undercut by:  She will absolutely do this show.  And:  We see her do the same show in 30 cities before hitting NYC.  But, no, I get it.  She's a New Yorker from birth.  That's a big deal.  It's like me getting to, uh...  blog at a coffee shop in Austin?  I have no idea.  

Monday, December 12, 2022

Hallmark Holiday Watch: Lucky Christmas (2011)

for the record, I don't believe there's any snow in this movie



Watched:  12/10/2022
Format:  Peacock (apparently now carrying old Hallmark movies...)
Viewing:  First
Director:  Gary Yates

So, did I watch this 11-year-old, largely forgotten Hallmark movie because it stars Elizabeth Berkely, she of Jessie Spano of Saved by the Bell fame?  

Buddy, you know I did.  

Let's get to it. 

Is the movie good?  No.  

Is it Berkley's fault?  In no way.  She's doing what she can here.

Sunday, December 11, 2022

Friday Holiday Watch Party: A Christmas Melody (2015)




Watched:  12/09/2022
Format:  Amazon Watch Party
Viewing:  First
Director:  Mariah Carey (...I KNOW!)

I thought it was very strange that A Christmas Melody (2015) does not play more on Hallmark's two 24/7 Christmas movies channels.  It stars Hallmark favorite Lacey Chabert and America's Accidental Christmas Mascot, Mariah Carey, with a supporting role from the omnitalented Kathy Najimy.  I mean - seems like a winner, as far as Hallmark goes.  I was wondering if Carey had some deal that made it financially onerous for Hallmark to run the movie, or there was some extenuating circumstance.  But, no.

Friends, this movie isn't very good.  

I mean, sure, you could blame the fact they gave a whole movie to Mariah Carey to direct (no, she did direct it), but something is wrong at the script stage and it feels like 2015 was a year Hallmark's writers were still figuring out the formula and forgot to do things like give the male romantic lead any inner life so he doesn't seem creepy.  

Saturday, December 10, 2022

PodCast 224: "Lois And Clark- S4E11" - a Superheroes Every Day Holiday Episode



Watched:  12/03/2022
Format:  HBOmax
Viewing: First
Decade:  1990's
Director:  Michael Vejar




Danny returns! To talk the 1996 Holiday installment of a Super-favorite. Join us as we get merry in both the 5th and 3rd dimension, talk all-things Superman, where this show fits in to the expansive history of The Man of Steel and how this episode works as a Superman story. So what happens when Howie Mandel arrives and wants to conquer the world? Our man picked the wrong holiday to try that one.


SoundCloud 


YouTube


Music:
Lois and Clark Main Title - Jay Gruska


Holidays 2022

Friday, December 9, 2022

Friday Watch Party: A Christmas Melody





When it comes to people who have tried to make a career out of Christmas media, it's hard to top Ms. Mariah Carey and/or Ms. Lacey Chabert.  Way, way back in 2015, this power duo teamed up for a single Hallmark movie.  Hold onto your hats, because this one was also directed by Mariah Carey.  I'm pretty sure its about a kids' singing competition or concert or some nonsense. 

Anyway, this combo is like loading your 5 lb. bag of Christmas with like 100 lbs. of Christmas, and we're gonna do it, and we're gonna like it.  No, I have not seen the full movie, just parts of it, which seems impossible.  

We're gonna Holiday the @#$% out of this %$#@.

Day:  Friday - 12/09/2022
Time:  8:30 Central, 6:30 Pacific
Service:  Amazon Streaming
Cost:  $3-$4

Happy Birthday, Teri Hatcher





Happy Birthday to actor Teri Hatcher, who is generally just a fantastic idea, but also a vital part of the Legion of Lois Lanes.  She is therefore of special note to this internet website which sometimes talks about Superman media.  

Here's hoping she has a great b-day doing whatever a Teri Hatcher does.



 

Thursday, December 8, 2022

Christmas Watch: Christmas in Connecticut (1945)




Watched:  12/08/2022
Format:  HBOmax
Viewing:  Unknown
Director:  Peter Godfrey


One of these days we'll podcast this one, but I've already discussed it before.  2015, 2020

Looking at those previous posts, it's remarkable how much the movie has grown on me, and I clearly forgot to write it up at least one other time.  

Anyway, this is how I will end every Christmas from now on.

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Doc Watch: Santa Camp (2022)




Watched:  12/3/2022
Format:  HBOmax
Viewing:  First
Director:  Nick Sweeney


The basic concept for Santa Camp (2022) contains all the volatility you'd expect of a movie that decides to use the familiar cultural touchstone of Santa Claus and the people who play him in malls, parades, personal appearances, etc...  to explore modern social wars and challenges of diversity and inclusivity.  

The movie clearly has a POV, but it's also one that is never stated directly by the filmmakers - this is a doc that lets people be themselves for good or ill on camera.  So, it lives in editorial choices.  Who knows what was left on the cutting room floor?  Maybe some stuff was worse?  Maybe items that were innocuous are cherry picked for context?  But when you're letting Proud Boys speak for themselves, it's hard to say how much nuance you're losing.  

Opening with a meeting of a grand council of Santa's of New England, a role and career choice for aging white men who have a very certain look, we get an idea of who has been a Santa - who embodies jolly ol' St. Nick in our physical space rather than paintings and cartoons.  To my surprise, this group of very similar older guys have already decided that maybe Santa needs more options for the public than just older, white, paunchy men, and they're in agreement that they need to start diversifying by inviting new recruits to their annual weekend retreat known as "Santa Camp".  

Saturday, December 3, 2022

PODCAST 223: "The Nine Kittens Of Christmas" (2021) - a Hallmark Holiday PodCast w/ Maxwell and Ryan



Watched:  12/2/2022
Format:  Hallmark Channel 
Viewing:  Second
Decade:  2020's
Director:  David Winning




Maxwell and Ryan explore the concept of Hallmark Christmas movies via a single entry. How does it reflect the formula? How does it differ? What is the formula and why? And why so many cats? So think hard about your unshakeable Christmas traditions, grab a cup of cocoa and warm up in the cheery glow of a podcast that is alight with Christmas cheer.


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Music:
Jingle Bells - Jingle Cats
White Christmas - Jingle Cats

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Holidays 2022

Thursday, December 1, 2022

Holiday Watch: A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)




Watched:  11/30/2022
Format:  HBOmax
Viewing:  Second
Director:  Todd Strauss-Schulson

Look, I'd seen this once back in 2012 and that was it for me, but Jamie is currently dealing with COVID, and so we're not looking for movies that are downers or super complicated at the moment.  

And so it was that after approximately 45 seconds of looking, I tuned into A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas (2011) - a movie that a mere 11 years later could never be made.  It's still relatively funny, but I'm also far older than I was when the first Harold and Kumar movie hit in 2004.  So, you kind of have to put yourself into the mental state of the early 00's and then the shift to adulthood that this final installment reflects.  

But, yeah, its maybe the last gasp of a string of movies featuring dudes behaving badly for yuks and a pre-#MeToo worldview that impacts a lot of key punchlines.  Also:  baby doing drugs (this absolutely does not hold up).  And, of course, the charm of a stoner comedy doesn't necessarily hold up over time for reasons so complicated and out of the scope of this blog that I don't feel like getting into it - but I'll say "aside from their musical selections, stoners are mostly deeply boring and tedious IRL."

As left and right horseshoed into overlapping end-states driven by differing concerns, the movie landscape has become a very different and more...  concerned place, in a way not really seen since the early 1960's.  It's not that you can't make a movie like this - no one is stopping you, but it's often not seen as something for a general audience or theatrical release.  Stuff like this now feels like it's a Netflix or Hulu drop.  

It is also super weird that Kumar had spent a couple years in the White House and filmed this during a sabbatical.  

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Hallmark Watch: A Holiday Spectacular (2022)




Watched:  11/27/2022
Format:  Hallmark Channel
Viewing:  First
Director:  John Putch

It's easy to forget that before they had a cable channel and the need to fill programming 24/7, Hallmark started making movies for network television.  Back in the day, Hallmark used to deliver semi-prestige Sunday-night movies with name talent.  I don't think this happens anymore as they've moved these movies to The Hallmark Channel and the budgets have taken a hit of sorts, but the DNA of those "Hallmark Presents" movies still exists.  So, every Christmas, tucked amongst the usual low-budget fare of the Hallmark movie season, you do get a movie or three with name actors or big set pieces. 

One of this year's offerings is A Holiday Spectacular (2022), which has only two name actors, one of whom is Eve Plumb, which blew my mind, and Ann-Margret.  Ann-Margret mostly only appears in a framing sequence and probably knocked her part out in 2-3 days of shooting, but it's still a delight to see her.  

Santor Watch: The Key To Christmas (2020)

Approx. 100x more effort was put into this poster than the movie



Watched:  11/27/2022
Format:  Amazon Watch Party
Viewing:  First
Director, Writer, Camera, Editor, Catering, Accountant, Set Decoration:  Jason Mills

Some pals seem to take exception to my practice of watching bad movies, riffing them, commenting upon them, etc...  The argument goes "someone tried, and it's not cool to make fun of them for trying".  To that I say:  if trying is your criteria, I welcome you to watch The Key to Christmas (2020).  Because that @#$% ain't happening here.

Look, I don't understand the market for ultra-cheap holiday movies.  There can't be that many Me and Doug's out there constantly looking for ways to torture each other with the worst in absolute garbage media.  Someone is out there buying the rights to these movies to distribute them with the idea that enough people will watch them that these movies will make money somehow.  I don't get the model.  I have to assume it's money laundering, tax fraud or something.  

Monday, November 28, 2022

Holiday Watch: Spirited (2022)




Watched:  11/26/2022
Format:  Apple+
Viewing:  First
Director:  Sean Anders

So, at our house, there are two very different stances on Dickens' A Christmas Carol.  To me, the book is a near-religious text and an annual reminder that one can make good on a life ill-lived, that every year is a chance for change and a reminder of how we can improve the lot of those around us.  We are a product of our lives, but at the end of the day, it's the choices we make daily that define how we impact the world.  To Jamie, it's this thing that's on at Christmas that people keep remaking as movies of varying quality.  I think both of these viewpoints are true.  

I'll need to give it another viewing, but it's possible Spirited (2022) will enter the very nichey canon of my favorite adaptations of the story, which include the George C. Scott version, the Patrick Stewart version, Muppets Christmas Carol and Scrooged.  Given the way this year's Thanksgiving has gone down, I may just be raw and in need of a boost that this movie provided, but here we are.

While I'm more than done with movies investigating the mechanics behind Santa's operations (Fred Clause and Arthur Christmas are maybe my highlight of that genre), no one had really taken on the same idea with A Christmas Carol.  And if I'm being honest with myself, I don't know if I'd put any thought into it other than it's a ghost story and this is how they work.

Saturday, November 26, 2022

PodCast 222: "Home Alone 1 & 2" (1990, 1992) - Holidays 2022 w/ SimonUK and Ryan


 

Watched:  11/05 and 11/12/2022
Format:  Disney+
Viewing: Second/ First
Decade:  1990's
Director:  Christopher Columbus




Simon and Ryan ponder two of the biggest money makers of the 1990's, a pair of movies that caught the world by surprise and took cartoon violence, family strife, abandonment, and hanging with old people and found their Christmas box office miracle. As the movies are now staples of the Holiday, we take a look to see what's under the tree. Will we get a sweet present or hit in the face with a @#$%ing bowling ball?

Fairy Tale Watch: Disenchanted (2022)





Watched:  11/24/2022
Format:  Disney+
Viewing:  First
Director:  Adam Shankman

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story. - Orson Welles

There's a lot of good in Disenchanted (2022), but it's a weird film.  Perhaps it's an unnecessary film?  

As much as I, too, wondered how Giselle - she of the cartoon kingdom - was going to adjust as a fish-out-of-water in New York, a fairy tale princess who now has to live in the Big Apple in a place with varying races, religions, opinions, illness, war, injustice...   I'm kind of wondering now - Maybe we didn't need to check in?  Maybe "happily ever after" is the ending this story needed.  After all, this movie starts to push on the edges of what it means to live happily ever after as it continues the tale of Giselle and Robert as it asks "what next?  What about ennui?  What about missing one's homeland and the way in which they were raised?  Isn't life deeply imperfect?"

I don't think it's wrong to limit the challenges of the movie to teen-angst, mean moms, commutes sucking and other suburban and relatable concerns within the control and world of your average schmo.  We have enough to deal with when it comes to the magical challenges of the film that will fill the runtime and primary concerns of the movie's A-plot.  

Charles Schulz at 100




Today marks the 100th birthday of cartoonist Charles Schulz, creator of pop culture force, comic strip and animation favorite Peanuts.  

The Peanuts characters are embedded into American and Western culture in ways that will mean they last for a few more generations at minimum - becoming indelibly associated with holidays thanks to cartoons playing each year for the past nearly 60 years.  These days, the cartoons live on over on Apple+, but there's also plenty of decoration and ornamentation that includes the staple characters, and who doesn't know the beats and moments of the specials, even if just by osmosis?

When Apollo 10 was mounting up, NASA asked to use Snoopy as their safety mascot.  Since, they've adopted Snoopy as a mascot for safety writ large and just kind of in general.  Even as we cross this 100th birthday, there's a Snoopy doll floating around inside Artemis as it circles the moon.  That's pretty amazing.  

Of course it all started with a comic strip, and Schulz drew almost 18,000 installments over 50 years.  He created household names, concepts (Lucy pulling the football away, kite-eating trees), brought diversity to the comics page and delivered a lot of joy into people's lives.  In an era of splintered interests, it's hard to understand how something like a daily comic strip could cross generational, geographic and sociological divides as a surprisingly smart reflection of the world.  

Schulz himself went by "Sparky", a name picked up from a comic strip, Barney Google (Spark Plug was the name of a horse in the strip).  He had comics in his blood and managed to keep his strip on track, and the translations of his characters to other media remarkably consistent.  It's hard to imagine fifty years of work, but he did it.  And the strips still run in papers across the country.

Schulz passed on February 12, 2000, but here we are, with Snoopy circling the moon.  Let's hope there's a Snoopy snack bar when folks are living up there.