Friday, June 25, 2010

Superman meets Jerry Lewis

My life was improved 150% today when I stumbled across this comic in the bin at Half-Price books for $3.00.

If only there were a "Batman meets Cary Grant" or "Tony Stark drinks heavily with Frank" comic I could buy. Heck, I'd take a "Ant Man shares a cab with Joey Bishop" or "Red Tornado gets stranded at the airport with Norman Fell" comic.

Unfortunately, I don't believe any of these great ideas ever happened. It doesn't mean that they shouldn't have happened.

Also, sadly, today's celebrities do not lend themselves particularly well to meeting superheroes. "Wonder Woman meets Snooki" doesn't do much for me.

But maybe "Ray Palmer meets The Mythbusters...?" Call me, publishers. I am full of ideas.

Dressing for Success

upcoming Mister Miracle shirt with Kirby art from issue #1

I am going to buy this shirt. Oh yes. I will.

Happy Burfday to Randy

In honor of Randy's birthday, we are giving Randy the things he likes best.


Baptist Bears (who, tragically, are forbidden from dancing)

Pop stars

useful code

comics with monkeys

That girl from "Transformers"


machine guns adorned with Hello Kitty

Peanut butter. Peanut butter all for Randy.

This guy.


Mrs. Randy, AKA: The Mysterious M

his daughter, Lil M

Weekly Watch Wind: 06/25/2010

Scott Pilgrim/ Me: hey, look! Its my personal Scott Pilgrim Avatar. I'm really skinny!

Batman/ Dr. Who!: This is just funny.

Webcomics: A list of ten webcomics. I am adding all of these to my list for the time being.

Tron/ Jeff the Cat: I have found a new way to drive my cat insane. New Tron toys can drive up walls.

Comics Business: In case you missed it (what with all the announcements about digital), music and media retail chain, Hastings, is looking to become a chain of comic shops. There hasn't been a Hastings in Austin that I can remember since the location on Guadalupe closed when I was in high school. But the shops still exist in mid-size towns across my part of the US of A. Lawton, Oklahoma gets listed! I am unsure how this will shake out, but it looks like they're going to give it a real try, versus the half-baked efforts I've seen from Tower and other media retailers.

Having a chain involved is GOOD. It gives a wider outreach to untapped audiences, but it also means someone on the retail side of the table might actually have some bargaining power. And if print comics want to survive, they need to escape the direct market model and return to locations where the public will find them.

Superman/ Don't Ask, Just Buy It!: DC Comics has released Chip Kidd's intro to the upcoming "All Star Superman, Absolute Edition". It's one hell of a sales pitch for one of my favorite comics of all time.

Superman/ Contest: In the upcoming Superman series, Superman is walking America from East to West Coast. You can nominate your town to be one of the spots Superman wanders through during his journey. He's staying north of Texas, so, alas, I can't pitch Austin. I think DC was focusing on a path through the US that's a bit more populated that the southern route, which... once you pass Austin, its a long walk between towns when you're headed west.

Sweet/ Horsies!: An adorable moppet of a girl is setting out to make her life amazingly ready for adaptation into a made-for-TV movie. She loves a really homely horse, and that is going to save this pony's life. Apparently, being an ugly horse will get you executed.

Superman/ Theatre! #1: Our non-existent readers in New York should go to the Upright citizens Brigade theater to see So, I Like Superman: A One Nerd Show.

Superman/ Theatre! #2: Dallas-dwelling Superman fans can catch the revamped Superman musical! Just head on down to the Dallas Theatre Center!

Disney/ Lifestyle:
Now you can just up and live at Disney World. Pretty nuts. Especially as all the animals in your yard will be able to wear clothes, emote and sing. No more glue traps for mice, I suppose.

DC Comics/ Politics/ Editorial: Oh, geez, Didio. Even when I sort of agree with you, you manage to botch things. Recently DC came under fire when character "All-New Atom", Ryan Choi, featured in the Batman: Brave and the Bold cartoon and who was the featured star of his own comic for more than two years, was unceremoniously killed off in a 3rd tier series. In responding to questions about criticism regardng DC's treatment of non-anglo/ white characters, Didio insisted that it isn't us, it's you, you stupid readers.

It's a complicated issue as DC relies on legacy characters developed during a far WASPier past, and its not just minority characters who don't seem to sell. Its anything introduced after 1965. At some point, DC sells what people buy. Unfortunately, DC is a company that relies upon nostalgia, and newer characters can't seem to get much of a foothold. So, in many ways, you kind of have to point the finger back at the fanbase and what they seem willing to support.

I suspect that's what Didio is trying to say, but... you know, he doesn't always do great when challenged in an interview.

And, Dan... that peer sitting next to you? Your co-publisher sharing the interview? He's Asian-American. Let him answer the "did DC kill Ryan Choi because you hate Asians?" questions next time. Schniekies.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Dinosaur Comedy

Do you have a favorite dinosaur? Sure, we all do! (Triceratops is the Mad Max vehicle of dinosaurs.) This dude explains why your favorite dinosaur is lame.

However, he uses lots of naughty language. Beware.

This may be the nerdiest thing I've ever laughed at.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

New Trailer for "Red" confirms Helen Mirren with a machine gun is awesome

I've never read the comic book, but this movie looks kind of up my alley.

Also, Helen Mirren seems awesome in this.

Tiffany/ Debbie Gibson/ SyFy/ Mutant Animals = I am watching

Nathan C. sent this link along. He must have known it would need to go up as an emergency post.

Apparently SyFy is trying to blow all our minds with a low budget giant monster yarn featuring 80's teen pop stars Tiffany and Deborah Gibson.

Gibson will play a fanatical animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores, sending them into the Everglades, where they grow to mega sizes. Tiffany will play an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators.

In the script, the pair brawl at a party, then take matters outside into the swamp.

SyFy, who have just won yourself a viewer.

DCU Digital Announcement: Brilliant or Lucky?

It just now occurs to me that Marvel may have miscalculated by tieing their digital comics launch in with the launch of the iPad. What's the bigger news that day? iPad or "oh, look, Iron Man!" Of course, it seems to have fit neatly with the release of the Iron Man movie, but people are buzzing about DC's efforts as if we hadn't already seen Marvel pull this off already, and Boom! make an announcement just last week.

That said, I was discussing iPads with my boss, and I think I am waiting for the HP Slate and whatever Dell produces. Not just to be contrarian, but I like to look at YouTube and stuff.

Time to get an iPad: DC Comics goes digital

As recently as Monday, DC wasn't publicly committing to anything when it came to digital comics. As of this morning, DC Comics are available via iTunes. Including the release of Superman #700, which is released today.

In no way does this appear to be an original strategy, but at least they didn't wait much longer to unveil part of the plan.

I have to wonder if plans were to roll out the digital initiative at some other point (San Diego?), but reports that began surfacing this week about Marvel's relative success, and possibly even the story about Hastings getting into the comics game didn't drive the decision to flip the switch.

Well, iPad users, your time is now.

Update: DC's official press release.

Update Update: I was a bit curious as to why DC teamed with Playstation rather than X-Box when it came to their upcoming DCU Online system, which is PC specific for computer and PS3 specific for consoles. But I am guessing that the Playstation Comics thing was already planned, or part of that strategy.

Put Yourself in a Cheap "Twilight" Knock-Off!

As if the heroine of Stephanie Meyer's golden goose, Twilight, wasn't pretty much a stand in for every female who can turn a page, it seems that a company has come up with a brilliant scheme to really, really exploit the concept.

Just fill out the form, add a few details, and... voila! Ladies, you're Bella-@#$%ing-Swan! And that hunky man of your dreams? Edward "Sparkles" Cullen.

You can sample the finished product with three separate scenes. I've cut these a bit short, but they give the general idea...

Now, for just $24.95 (plus shipping and handling), ladies, you can be the star of your very own hastily written Twilight fan fiction.

Click here to order!

Or, you know, search the catalog. If you look at the romance books, apparently you can add anybody you want into what seems to be a steamy, trashy, novel-length tale of inadequate telling! And in genres from werewolf to pirate (with genre specific love scenes).

And now... some samples... You really cannot make this stuff up.

Our Heroes Meet

Jamie could feel the heavy shelves wobble and tilt precariously. Before she could even think of escaping out from underneath, she heard the sound of sudden footsteps and the slap of wood against flesh. She looked up, surprised. A young man in a dark brown leather jacket smiled at her, one arm stretched mere inches above her head as it held back the skewed bookcase.
First Bite: Personalized Vampire Novel
Their romantic ideal is a vintage late 80's college rock fan

“Pardon me,” Ryan murmured with a slight smile, and with a movement as smooth as a dancer’s, he turned and tipped the heavy bookshelves back into their proper position.
Her heart hammering, Jamie scrambled to stand up. She was so shaken she nearly tottered back off her feet, but the stranger reached out to steady her, his touch lasting only seconds. But it was enough.
“Are you all right?”
Like his clothing, his voice was soft and rich. The light fell gently on him almost like an aura—very appropriate for a guardian angel, Jamie thought as she pushed away some messy strands of blonde hair from her face. “Thank you,” she said after a few speechless moments, one hand patting her heart to calm herself. “Those shelves could’ve killed me.”
“You should be more careful,” he chastised lightly. “This is an old building that’s falling apart. I advise greater caution.”
“I know. I usually am—careful, I mean—but I was so happy to find this book…”
Jamie hugged the red leather to herself, flushing under his piercing gray gaze. Why am I babbling like this? “I didn’t even know you were there. Lucky for me you were, huh? You always keep an eye out for klutzy bookworms?”
“Only when there is need, I assure you.” He smiled, teeth reflecting brightly and his broad shoulders casting a shadow over Jamie. “But you do yourself an injustice. There is nothing wrong with loving books, and you are certainly no klutz.”

Male Hero and Pal:

Ryan had been staring out into the stars for a while when a familiar low voice interrupted his thoughts. “Friend, you’ve got to get over this girl.”
Moonlight Night
This totally looks exactly like TheDug

He whipped his head around and saw TheDug climbing up with practiced ease onto the roof to join him. The other vampire continued, “What’s gotten into you? I’ve never seen you so taken with anyone. Especially a mortal!” TheDug spat out the word with disgust. “They are ours for feeding. You treat this one as if she were your pet.”
“No. Jamie is not a pet. I think I am in love with her.”
“Oh, I see. Forgive me if I have a hard time understanding that one, Ryan."
TheDug bared his teeth in a wicked smile. “I must say, your strength in her presence is admirable. I’m certain that I could not contain my desire to taste of her sweetness.”
Ryan shot his friend a glare that could have punctured like a dagger. “You shall not touch her!”
“Calm down. I wouldn’t dare face your wrath. But don’t you see the pointlessness of all this?”
“I’ll tell her, truly I shall. Soon.” Ryan stared up at the unforgiving night sky. “She is a modern woman. Perhaps she might understand?”
TheDug chuckled softly. “Perhaps.”

Our Heroes stand around yapping

“Did you enjoy the party?” Jamie tilted her head and reached up a hand to remove her earrings as she watched Ryan in the mirror. That’s another myth gone. His reflection’s as visible as mine.

Kiss from a Vampire
There's a fine line between models and the people I see at truck stops.

“Let me,” Ryan whispered, circling her ear with one night-cool finger. “Ah, the party. It was interesting. Your friend Kristen has a great deal of energy.”
“That’s one way to put it! No fear, no speedometer, no brakes. That’s what she’d say.” Jamie smiled fondly. “She’s a good friend.”
“Yes.” He looked deep into the mirror, seeing something she could not find; he forgot to pretend to breathe, lost in thought. Jamie waited, curious and concerned, idly admiring the line of his jaw, the sparkle of his gray eyes.
A slow nod signaled his return to the moment. “Kristen has suspicions about me. About what I am.”
Jamie froze. “Are you sure?”
“She seems to have held her ideas for quite some time, on little evidence. Is she one of those who romanticizes my kind? There are many who seem strangely fascinated with my fictional brethren.”
“Well, Kristen likes vampire flicks, but she’s no Goth.What exactly did she say?”
Ryan repeated the conversation verbatim. “As I said, she has little evidence, but still she persists in her conviction, and I cannot argue. She is, after all, correct about what I do.”