Watched: 04/01/2020 and 04/03/2020
Viewing: Second? First as an adult
Frankly, on top of and due to Coronavirus happenings, work has been a bear, and - thus - in the evenings I've mostly just been looking for something *fun* when I peel myself out of my office chair and mosey down to the living room. For some time, my Criterion Godzilla set has been calling to me from the bookshelf, so we finally broke into it a while back and started watching some Kaiju Kraziness.
As a kid I had seen Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974) but I really didn't remember much, which makes sense. It's a film that feels like either the script was dictated by an 8 year old while eating too many bowls of Cap'n Crunch, or it was made entirely by Script Mad Libs.
You see, Godzilla is evil again, and goes on a rampage, which seems unlike him. He even gets into a fight with his pal, Anguirus. Meanwhile, a pair of brothers are visiting a former castle in Okinawa when they hear a prophecy from a young woman having a seizure. Monsters are going to fight (frankly, *I* could have delivered this prophecy in the context of Gozilla-Japan and been 100% right. But.).
Anyway, there's aliens who made a fake Godzilla who the REAL Godzilla exposes, and the fake Godzilla is a butt. The aliens look like normal dudes until they die, then they turn into gorillas. As one does. And there's a statue, and a spy, and another spy, and an archaeologist and a pretty young-lady archaeologist and a technology guy, and... another girl, who has no lines.
It's a whole scene.
The thing is, the statue unleashes a monster named King Caesar who is supposed to protect Okinawa, and he is the dumbest looking of all Kaiju.
|I'm huge and I have mange|
Anyway, King Caesar mostly just hides (I am not kidding) until Godzilla has taken all the hits and then he jumps in for the final blow. It's a lot of bullshit, but - in fairness, he's just large. He has no radioactive bolts or breath or nothin'.
My favorite part of the movie was the head bad alien who walked around smoking cigars and drinking booze and telling people off while wearing a shiny jumpsuit. #lifegoals
The sequel, The Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975) has a coherent, very sci-fi-ish plot about the aliens coming back, rebuilding Mechagodzilla and enlisting the aid of a mad scientist and his (shocker) attractive daughter who... IS A CYBORG.
The aliens want the mad scientist to unleash Titanosaurus on Tokyo so they can engage in urban redevelopment. And I am not even kidding.
|I enjoyed Titanosaurus. He was pleasantly goofy.|
Interpol gets involved, shit gets out of hand and we get the tragedy of Cyborg Girl dying. Which is double-tragic because she'd just found love with a marine scientist while listening to this boss-ass version of Clair de Lune.
I mean, Cyborg Love is HARD, y'all.
What's weird is that Ishiro Honda who directed the first Godzilla returned for this installment and it is... weirdly less clunky than prior installments. Like, clearly the Toho people were still doing their thing with the script and he stayed inside a certain box making the movie, but it just feels like more of a real movie.
Anyway, these are the best movies I have ever seen.