Signal Watch Watches: Ramona and Beezus (2010)

As a child of a teacher with her Masters in Reading Education, we never wanted for books around the house.  I had my favorites, and I read a lot of the Beverly Cleary books featuring the neighborhood of kids of Klickitat Street, with Henry Huggins, Beezus & Ramona (and Henry's dog, Ribsy*).

It's been a long, long time since I read the series, probably closer to 30 years than 20, and so my memory is a bit hazy.  Still, I was amazed at how many scenes and references from of the books came back to me when I found Ramona and Beezus on the HBO in-demand options, and once the movie started rolling.  From the "kitty-kat Q" to the proper way to crack a hardboiled egg (a technique I still employ from time to time), to the employment problems of Mr. Quimby.

I believe this is the edition of the book I had.  Beezus was such a square.

Signal Watch Watches: King Kong (1933)

I was in high school before I got to see King Kong (1933) in its entirety, and I've probably seen it almost a dozen times since.  Before that I had seen both the 1976 version of King Kong with Jessica Lange and the almost forgotten King Kong Lives (1986) in the theater.

Signal Watch Watches: What to Expect When You're Expecting (2012)

Let's get some facts on the table.

• Jamie and I have no children.  Without getting too personal, there are medical reasons this is (at least partially) true.  But it is also true that the biological tripwire that is native to most successful living organisms which tells them its time to procreate has never gone off within my own system. 
• I am longtime pals with the screenwriter for this movie.  She more or less informed me that the movie was not in my demographic, and that no feelings would be hurt if I gave it a pass.  But, dammit, if any one of you knuckle-heads writes a movie that plays near my house, its likely I'll go.  And so I did head out to see this film on a sunny Sunday afternoon.  Because I am supportive.  

In general, this is not the sort of thing I'd normally consume as comedy (I DVR Eagleheart on Cartoon Network and still will watch things like Warrior of the Wasteland for a laugh), but I also generally don't rush to the theater for comedies, anyway.

Now, the crowd at this movie was particularly interesting as (a) I don't know what the make-up is of the new Slaughter Lane Alamo Drafthouse, but this was not the usual young genre freaks, and (b) oh my god, the number of pregnant women in the theater.

As someone without children, it was also interesting to hear the things the mass of the audience found hilarious (I assume in a "we've all been there") sort of way, and the things I found funny (small children "discovering" a dead animal in the woods and presenting it to Dad) which didn't get as much of a laugh.

This is absolutely the big, star-studded ensemble comedy it appears to be, following a half-dozen storylines with different bits of misadventure, tragedy and other ways of examining the same human experience from multiple angles.  I do think with so many stories in the movie, there's a little something for everybody.

Signal Watch Watches: Being Elmo - A Puppeteer's Journey (2011)

On CarlaB's recommendation, Jamie and I watched Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey (2011), an award-winning documentary about Kevin Clash, the puppeteer behind ubiquitous kiddie icon, Elmo, the red muppet with the laugh of a madman.

I don't really know what to say about the doc.  Its already won a truckload of awards, and I would argue that its a pretty darn good movie and absolutely worth seeing.  A sort of "for the whole family" type of film, and one that I would show any kid with a creative bent.

Clash's journey from lower-class America to the most famous name in showbiz you've never heard of is absolutely remarkable, as a kid pursues his passion and turns it into something loved by kids around the world. In some ways, however, its a story of a guy who sets our to fulfill his dreams, and, indeed, he does, with a minimum of challenge.

Signal Watch Watches: Crank (2006)

I don't listen to the podcast How Did This Get Made? all that often, but I had to give the recent Birdemic discussion a whirl, and that rolled me into the discussion of 2006's Crank, a movie I had absolutely no interest in at the time of its release.

HDTGM covers movies they cannot believe were put together (see: last year's The Smurfs), but it also covers movies that the crew (all working in the industry) cannot believe happened to get made in the studio system for their sheer audacity (read: awesomeness).  During the hour-long podcast covering Crank and its sequel, they kept referring back to elements of the films that I couldn't believe had made it into a movie in wide release (maybe in the mid-90's, but no so much today in this era of watered down, PG-13, aim-it-at-15-year-olds homogeneity).

I have to say, from a certain perspective, Crank does not disappoint.

Signal Watch Watches: Curse of Bigfoot (1976)/ Teenagers Battle The Thing (1958) - with RiffTrax

Wow.

There are a few breeds of "bad movies" out there.  This one falls into the "contemptibly incompetent/ nobody here knew how to make a movie.  No, that is not hyperbole, these people really had no idea what they were doing.  At all." category, the reigning champion of which still seems to be Monster-a-Go-Go (1965), but just by a sasquatch hair.

While Monster-a-Go-Go has its own stunning production history to consider, Curse of Bigfoot is a 1976 repackaged 1958 movie originally titled Teenagers Battle The Thing.

Apparently seeking to cash in on the mid-1970's Bigfoot craze (yes, our younger readers, there was a mid-1970's Bigfoot craze.  I don't know.  How do any of these things happen?  I blame The Six Million Dollar Man and In Search Of, but they seem to post-date this movie, so I have no clue, man.  Bigfoot and Wildboy?).

Signal Watch Watches: Twilight - Breaking Dawn, Part 1 (with RiffTrax)

Without RiffTrax, its impossible for me to wrap my head around the experience of viewing any of the Twilight films.  It's safe to say: I am not in the demographic to which the series is aimed.  But it's also become a hugely successful movie series, spinning off the classic vampire genre and tropes, and we quite like monster movies, so there you go.

In the spirit of full disclsure, before starting the movie, we armored up with a couple of cocktails and with the protective barrier of RiffTrax to shield us a bit from unfiltered Twilightness.  I, myself, wore the mithril coat of Manhattans made with generous portions of Bulleit.

Seriously, all of these people can shut up now.  Except the girl on the left.  She's cute enough, she gets a pass.

Let's get the preliminaries out of the way.

• Kristen Stewart is both bad and insufferable in these movies, a fact which is mind-boggling considering how many directors have now had a crack at her.  I have to assume her stammering, energy-free performances in these films suggest a level of contempt for the material that one must share in order to properly decipher her true intention.  Or else she's just that bad.
• Robert Pattinson's "Edward" may be handsome, I guess, but he's otherwise completely worthless as a character.  Since the first movie, in which he stalked Bella into submission, he's since mostly been dialog-free and at an arm's length from Bella, enough so that they seem like work acquaintances than the subjects of the most popular romance in pop fiction.
• The core of the drama in the Twilight movies stems from the fact that the characters seem incapable of making decisions or taking action, and are very into waiting to see what happens.  I don't like the term "proactive", either, but I don't think its particularly useful to tell four books' worth of stories and never present anyone making a decision other than "I'm in love, I guess".
• Oddly, discussing this movie aimed at a YA audience is going to spawn one of the more adults conversations we're going to have around here.  Mainly because I'm not sure any adults were associated with the making of this film.
• Do not be confused by the length of this discussion.  This is a terrible movie.  Frankly, its one of the worst high-budget feature films I've seen in my entire life.  Its just astonishingly terrible on any level you'd care to discuss.  We're really going to rein it in here this evening so that we can try to retain some focus, but suffice it to to say, one could spill no small number of bits dissecting how this movie is a failure on every level.
  

Signal Watch Watches: Warriors of the Wasteland (1983) - with RiffTrax

I think the era of me seeking out movies like this without the benefit of RiffTrax has largely passed, but with them...

Warriors of the Wasteland is a 1983 Italian knock-off of The Road Warrior, sort of.  I mean, if The Road Warrior were filtered through the mind of a guy who was reading too many Humanoids comics, had no budget and had possibly suffered a severe blow to the head.

Its basically a guy with a really goofy-looking muscle car with a plexi-glass dome affixed to the roof for no reason driving around and picking fights with a bunch of guys in odd Storm Trooper-like outfits if the helmets were missing and they all had visited Journey's stylists.

The movie is notable for a number of reasons:

It co-stars Fred Williamson, who has been in more than 100 films and TV shows.  I sort of recognized him from some of his Blaxploitation work.  Here, he plays a guy with a rad mustache and who uses a bow & arrow with explosive tips.  Eat it, Hawkeye.

Everything about the movie's character designs would become prevalent in comics in 1992 or so thanks to the influence of artists like those who would go on to work on books like "Lady Death".  I have to assume they designed any number of female characters based upon the look of "Alma" in the movie, what with her huge shoulder pads, amazing bouffant hair-do, and then, inexplicably, just a pair of underwear and shoes below the ribcage.  And, of course, all the men are decked out in terribly impractical armor.

Fun fact:  in comics, that look just never really went away.

And there's a little Dennis the Menace-like scamp who is a murdering psychopath and a hero.

Go figure.

The RiffTrax on this one are absolutely spot on, and, frankly, if they can make viewing this trainwreck not just bearable but fun?  I tip my hat.

Movie itself: no recommendation.
With RiffTrax?  A must see.

Signal Watch Watches: High Anxiety (1977)

I had never seen Mel Brooks' High Anxiety (1977), but thought at first that I had when JeniferSF had been describing it to me.  Well, no.  I hadn't seen it, but I'm glad for the recommendation.

A loving tribute to the films of Alfred Hitchcock, High Anxiety is in the vein of other Brooks spoofs, which he made right up until just a few years ago.  Probably what you want to know is which of the Brooks 70's era stable of supporting players does he recruit?

The movie stars Brooks himself, Madeline Kahn, Harvey Korman, and features an amazingly hilarious and quotable performance by Cloris Leachman.  Seriously, I'm watching it again just to see if I can remember some of her dialog.

I don't really want to spoil it, so I'll just recommend it if you think you've seen Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles too many times and you're looking for something in a similar vein.  It doesn't quite reach those epic heights (no Gene Wilder, perhaps?), but it gets the job done.

Signal Watch Watches: Manhattan (1979)

Hey, remember how we sometimes talk about how not everything works for everybody?

Woody Allen movies are one of those things for me.  Objectively, I can appreciate that there is punchy dialog, lovely cinematography, that nobody aside from Ghostbusters knows how to use New York as a character better.  I guess, I've only been there once for a few days 14 years ago.

I actually quite like Annie Hall and a few other Woody Allen movies.  But I think its fair to say that this was not a movie that was about anything I find terribly interesting.  But you're supposed to see it, so see it I have.

The movie has 30-odd years worth of folks who love it and who have gotten something out of it, and good on them.

That's probably enough on that.

Signal Watch Watches: The Avengers (2012)

You know what?  Spoilers Ahoy.  Don't read this discussion unless you've seen The Avengers.

We Rewatched "The Muppets" - Movies 2012

As we plod on through talking about every movie we watched in 2012, I am obliged to mention that we spent this evening watching 2011's The Muppets.

We talked about the movie in passing back in Novemberish, and I stand by what I said back then. Its a great all ages film, and the sort of thing I hope parents are sharing with their kids.

I will note, on this go-round I noticed that within about twenty minutes of the same movie, the movie expressly makes a point about believing in yourself as a sign of understanding yourself, but then concludes the movie by having Kermit tell everyone he believes in them.  So, you know, whatever.  We all believe in everybody.  I guess that's okay.

Avengers Assemble! Captain America - The First Avenger (2011)

Yup.  I was going to wait and give Jamie some pacing when it came to watching Captain America (2011), but I got the BluRay of this movie a couple weeks back, and I am an impatient fellow.

I was a bit curious as to how well I'd like Captain America as the last time I saw it, there were extenuating circumstances.  Namely: Mark Waid was there and was a hell of a nice guy.  Also, Austin Books was there shooting t-shirts out of a gun, and the place was full of friendly comic nerds.  Also, I'd had a margarita right before the movie.

If you read my review last August, you may recall I sort of freaked out and gushed about the movie.

like a boss...

You know what?  I still find this a very satisfying movie, superhero or otherwise.  I mean, its not exactly Citizen Kane, and it doesn't have either the grandeur or myth-making of Superman: The Movie, nor the "geez, I can relate" feel of the Young American Hard Luck Case that comes part and parcel with Spider-Man.  But its a celebration of what is best about why we fight, and what it means to be the good guy in the old school, unironic way, nor by becoming the anti-hero.

All very strange because I'm not much of a fan of director Joe Johnston, shy of his work on The Rocketeer.

I suppose part of my attraction is still the pacing of the film, and that even more than Iron Man, I feel like we get a complete story that takes place over an extended period of time.  And, Cap's evil opposite makes a lot of sense in the context of this film, at least in my crazy head.

Sure, it would have been nice to have Mark Waid stop by and enjoy the movie with me (you're welcome anytime, Mr. Waid), but even without his presence or any comic geeks who are not my wife or my black lab, its still a decent flick and a solid entry in the superhero genre.

Of course, its a mix of the original tales as told my Jack Kirby and Joe Simon (I am aware that Kirby did leave to go serve in WWII after Cap debuted, but am unaware if Simon did the same).  Of course it harkens to the Avengers work done around 63'-64' when Cap returned to comics thanks to Smilin' Stan and Jack Kirby.  But it also is an interesting mix of both The Ultimates take on things, leaning heavily on the recent work of Ed Brubaker and Steve Epting on Captain America (which is highly readable in collected editions).

Special bonus:  I had a moment of clarity not too long ago when some stray neurons fired and I remember trying to impress a girl when I was a freshman in high school by showing her the Captain America poster I'd recently acquired and hung above my dresser.  Yeesh.

I found a picture of that poster online.

also... like a boss

She did still go out with me a couple of times.  That's the power of Cap, I guess.

Dang, man.  What happened to that poster?  Also, my picture of Earth?  And my Michael Jordan poster...

Avengers Assemble! THOR (2011)

It seems like just yesterday that I went to see Thor (2011) a second time in the theater.  Yeah, I pretty much liked it that much, plus, I don't think I paid to see it on round 2.

CanadianSimon is a big fan of the Thor comics, but I'd never really read them.  Something about Thor didn't click with me when I was a kid, and then as an "adult", I just never swung back to checking out the character for more than a few issues at a time.

Anyway, I stand by my review of about 12 months ago, give or take a week.  Its still a nifty movie with cool FX, a swell cast, and a story I find oddly moving for a movie about two brothers with very different takes on filial piety and affection.  Sometimes a story, even one about transdimensional space gods, can be universal enough at its core to be effective.

I really like Chris Hemsworth in this movie.  He's actually quite good, especially when you realize he's working with folks like Rene Russo, Idris Elba, Anthony Hopkins, Natalie Portman and the very, very talented Tom Hiddleston who plays Loki.  Hewsworth was almost unrecognizable (but well cast) in The Cabin in the Woods, and I hope he does well.  Hollywood needs to make room for more actors over 5'6".

Also, this movie has Sif.  And that is okay by me.

Her deadly polearm really brings out her eyes

So now we're down to Captain America, and then Avengers itself.

I wish I could find some way to salute Jack Kirby in all this.  After all, Kirby originally envisioned Thor, Captain America, The Hulk, and the concept of The Avengers.  If you have ideas for what we can do to salute King Kirby, lemme know via email.

Signal Watch Watches: The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

One cannot talk about this movie without SPOILERS.  If you have not seen the movie and plan to see the movie, please do not read this post until such time that you have seen The Cabin in the Woods (2012).

So, seriously, go away.  Just...  Look, I'm recommending it for horror fans, so just go see it and don't ruin it for yourself.  In fact, don't read anything about this flick.  Just go see it.

If you have seen the movie or do not plan to see the film?  Stick around.

So....  Those other guys gone?

Signal Watch Watches: Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan's Hope

I have never been to Comic-Con International in San Diego.  I am on record as finding the much smaller Cons I've attended here in Austin and one in Phoenix sort of depressing, expensive and uncomfortable.  So, selling me on the ideal that Comic-Con is a sort of geek-topia where nobody need feel out of place as they pursue their passions doesn't necessarily sing.

This evening we checked out the latest Morgan Spurlock documentary, Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan's Hope.  As suggested by the grating title, the movie seems done by folks with a cursory knowledge of the sci-fi, gamer and comic geek culture, and outsider looking in and starting to understand the contours enough to know "oh, Star Wars isn't just called Star Wars?  Weird!" but not enough to realize everyone in the Cantina has a name and homeworld the Star Wars geeks will know.  

The doc is relentlessly pro-ComicCon, told from an outsiders enthusiastic perspective, perhaps not entirely seeming to know what its doing sometimes right up to and including the "let's switch to comics panels between scenes" thing you've seen in a few other comics-related films, not the least of which was last year's HBO doc on real-life superheroes (who went to ComicCon.  Awk-ward).

Avengers Assemble! Iron Man 2

You know, it seems it was unhip to say you liked Gwyneth Paltrow, and I found her marrying anyone in Coldplay annoying, but I like her a lot in both Iron Man movies.  The 00's will be remembered as the era in which Marvel made superhero movies legitimate, something even the success of Tim Burton's Batman film couldn't do (see: the sequels).

Unfortunately, despite a huge budget, some great set pieces, a decent set-up and good ideas...  Iron Man 2 is just a mess.  It feels like 3 movies' worth of stuff piled in, and only some of it jives.  Only not really, because the basics of the plot all DO tie together, they just feel slapped together, and it feels a bit like RDjr needed to, and I hate to say it, tone it down a little bit.  I like the Senate panel scene, too, but...  its a wee bit silly and ventures into that area that makes me uncomfortable when they talk about Batman being smarter and better than everybody else.  "So, you're arguing that he's just a guy, just...  smarter, more athletic, deadlier, handsomer and more technically savvy... oh, and RICHER than everyone else.  And this relatable how?".

I mean, I know the scene is there to show Tony spiraling but... anyway.

Its not as pristine and entertaining as the first movie, nor is the weight of Stark's legacy writ large as a challenge.  That's been resolved to as astronomic degree (if its been a while - in this movie, Iron Man has ended the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan on his own).  And the fight between Rhody and Tony at the half-way point is sort or rubbish.

But its better than most of what we got in the 90's for superhero fare, so, whatever.

Oh, right.  ScarJo.  Well, she certainly adds production value.  And her character is certainly lucky nobody back sup ten feet and pulls out a gun.  Anyway...

On to Thor.

Avengers Assemble! The Incredible Hulk (2008)

We talked The Incredible Hulk during its initial release in 2008, and we sort of glossed over the movie at the time.

I like the two Hulk movies pretty well, I suppose.  I own them both for home viewing and I'll watch them both when they're on cable, too.  There's something about the "monster lurking inside" that's all emotion, be it rage or whatever that is The Hulk is thinking when he sees Betty Ross.  No wonder Ang Lee was so smitten with the idea.

Anyway, this was Take-2 for the Hulk character in the post Spider-Man era.  Folks had sort of complained about Lee's take on the character and it hadn't made the money Marvel had seen from Spidey or Spidey 2.

The Incredible Hulk (2008) isn't a terribly complicated movie, perhaps in direct response to the supposedly heady The Hulk (2003).  Its a fairly fun movie, and the complication between Thunderbolt Ross, Betsy Ross and poor 'ol Bruce Banner manages to carry some weight.

Despite the somewhat baffling/ brilliant casting of Tim Roth as villain Emil Blonsky, the storyline and eventual climax of the movie in a slugfest between Hulk and the Abomination just never feels much more than perfunctory.

Where Eric Bana had played Bruce Banner as a PTSD victim, I think I prefer Ed Norton's driven, desperate take.  And if you're going to replace Jennifer Connelly, I cannot complain about Liv Tyler tagging in, even if she mostly goes for dewy-eyed helplessness.

With The Avengers coming up, I'm curious to see how their Bruce Banner will fit into the mix, but I think it'll be fun, even with yet another actor coming in as Banner.

Signal Watch Re-Watches: John Carter (2012)

I will be brief.

But, I am documenting every time I watch a movie this year.  And it would seem unfair to not tell you.  Yeah, before it left the theater (I assume first run theaters will be dropping the movie from their screens this week), I wanted to see it again.

And, you know, I liked it just as much a second time, if not more after reading the first three Barsoom books.  Lots of little bits that are throw-aways from the book, or book-accurate bits like the hand-on-shoulder greeting among allies, radium shells from the Thark rifles, what a royal @#$%* Sarkoja can be...

Anyway, it would have been nice to see where they wanted to go with the sequels, especially as they took such an incredible number of liberties with the source material.  At least I would have been kept guessing.  At its core, the movie remains true to each character they represent, even if there's no appearance of Phaidor while we see Matai Shang, etc...  and so its not that hard for me to reconcile the differences.

I'll shut up about John Carter for a bit.

Avengers Assemble: Iron Man (2008)

In the run up to this summer's Avengers movie, Jamie and I are going to be watching the individual superhero movies that will take us right up to the big team-up picture.  Its a lot of flicks.  The Alamo will be running a marathon, but I just can't see myself sitting through what has to be roughly 12 hours of Marvel action of movies I've seen already multiple times.

• Iron Man
• The Incredible Hulk
• Iron Man 2
• Thor 
• Captain America

That doesn't mean I don't actually quite like most of the movies, but...  I dunno.  The Planet of the Apes marathon was just truly something Ahab-like that I felt I had to do once in my life.  Now, if they screened all the Superman movies...  now we're talking.

Iron Man (2008) still holds up remarkably well, even if this was the first time I wondered why the 10 Rings terrorist association wanted Tony Stark to build the missile rather than kill him as Obadbiah Stane had requested to garner goodwill and maybe get those Jericho missiles off a truck.

Looking at Iron Man and comparing it to DC's attempt to launch a hydra-headed franchise like Avengers with Green Lantern, its a reminder that WB and DCE are really, really bad at all this, and there's no reason to think that they won't really mess up the upcoming Superman film, Man of Steel.  DC's answer to a cocksure hero like Tony Stark didn't work with the Ryan Reynold's "I'm a loveable goof" take on Hal Jordan, a terrible costume and pretty much no motivation for our hero or the audience to embrace.

Iron Man was actually such a trick and gave such a clear arc to Tony Stark as a character that trying to repeat the narrative success in the sequel didn't really take.  I recall not being exactly bored during Iron Man 2, but also knowing that they were going to learn a lot about what was missing for when they wrote the third installment.

May I also add:  I really like Gwyneth Paltrow in this movie.  I can genuinely say I never thought I'd give a damn about Pepper Potts, but I like her understated performance.  She isn't given that much to do in this boy's own adventure, but she manages to do a lot with what's on the page and feel like a bit more than the girlfriend-in-trouble that Kirsten Dunst got stuck playing over three Spidey movies.  Her scenes with Robert Downey Jr.'s force of nature Tony Stark feel terribly natural in the work-wife sort of vibe, and the dialog just works (see: the scene where she has to swap out Tony's batteries).  It goes a long way.

And, of course, Jeff Bridges as a super-villain?  This movie is just terribly well cast all the way down the line, including Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson, everyone's favorite G-Man.

Its a fun movie, even if it boils down to mad-scientist antics and two dudes slugging it out on a rooftop and goofing on a bit of BS for the conclusion to their spat (I am sure one can read all sorts of symbolism into the Arc Generator killing Stane, but I doubt 1 in 20 filmgoers found themselves weeping at all the lovely irony).  

On to The Incredible Hulk and Liv Tyler.