Sunday, August 25, 2019

SHUT UP, I LIKE IT Watch: StarCrash (1978)

there were legit reasons for this being what one wears in space, but I missed it

Watched:  08/24/2019
Format:  Amazon Streaming
Viewing: at least fourth
Decade:  Baby, this is the REAL 1970's

Yeah, I watched this movie the first time because Caroline Munro, but it has so, so much more to offer.  Star Wars may be the preferred 1970's era sci-fantasy film, but StarCrash (1978) has Christopher Plummer gamely lending his gravitas to a movie with a space-ship shaped like a hand and a 10 story robot with nipples.  And, man, that's just. the. start.

So, so much happens in this movie that I can somewhat guarantee you'll never be bored, and, yet, you may finish the movie feeling like you've just ended a dream-cycle, unsure of what just happened.  Time and logic will lose all meaning.  After all, the words in the movie have no meaning.  They scan planets with "computer waves".  They "go for Hyperspace".  It's "against the law" to tell anyone what will happen in the future, even if you happen to be able to see into the future, because that would change what will happen.

Honestly, the trailer is your best argument for "what will be in this movie?"  And, yes, this will all be in the movie.

The movie stars the aforementioned Caroline Munro, most famous outside of this movie as a Bond Girl, as a Hammer vixen and the memorable reporter in Adam Ant's video for "Goody Two-Shoes".  And, late in the movie, we get The Hoff.  And a guy named Marjoe Gortner who was, very briefly, a thing.  Oh, and for financial reasons, Munro herself was unable to ADR her own voice, so it's Munro's english-accented voice replaced by Candy Clark.

Apparently the filmmakers kept the film from composer John Barry, believing he'd refuse them the music once he saw the actual movie, which is *probably* true - this isn't exactly Bond-level.  But the final product is also weirdly close to what wound up as the score for Star Wars: Rogue One.

Anyway, this movie is just enough nonsense, fun and chaos to make it something I can enjoy way more readily than I should probably admit and retain any sort of credibility in discussing movies or as a grown adult.  But there you go.


Groboclown said...

No need for appologies when it comes to Star Crash. Unlike things like Turkish Star Wars, this was a film that had a vision and wanted to say something, even if no one knows what that is. It also performs experiments to discover how many straps are optimal for space flight and laser combat.

The League said...

They truly did have a vision. I kinda miss Emperors of space and whatnot. I guess today's kids think that domain belongs to Star Wars, but there was a glorious time when space princesses shot laser rifles alongside their cowboyish robot buddies.