80's Watch Party Watch: The Secret of My Success (1987)

Watched:  03/26/2021

Format: Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  Unknown

Decade: so, so 1980's

Director:  Herbert Ross

I have no affinity for The Secret of My Success (1987).  I saw it upon its theatrical release in 1987, where I was carded as a 12 year old entering a PG-13 movie.  My friend's dad had to come into the box office and tell them it was fine.  So, thanks, Mr. P.

I also remember both the seduction of "Brantley" and the immediate revelation he'd been seduced by a distant sorta relative.  And the use of Yello's "Oh Yeah".*

And, of course, Helen Slater, who I didn't realize was Helen Slater until college or so.  And - the ruse which is the core of the film, which I thought I understood but missed something.  But I am here to tell you here in 2021 AD, I do not understand what Brantley was doing.

Friday Jamie Birthday Party Selection: Secret of My Success

 

Forewarning:  this one costs a few bucks to watch, so we'll understand if you bow out

Jamie puts up with A LOT, so if this is what she wants to do for her movie selection, we're fine with that.

This was the movie I assumed was gonna by filthy when I showed up at the movie theater to see a PG-13 movie and they *carded me*.  It's kinda not dirty, is crazy 1980's in many ways, and - most importantly - co-stars Helen Slater in business attire.

The no-nonsense shoulder pads that say "I can do a merger or take out Jim McMahon"

• Day:  Friday 03/26 - Today
• Time:  8:30 Central

Link here for Michael J. Fox

Comic Watch: X2 - X-Men United (2003)

Watched:  03/25/2021

Format:  Disney+

Viewing:  Unknown

Decade:  2000's

Director:  Bryan Singer

Until Logan came out a few years back, I'd argue X2: X-Men United (2003) was the *best* X-Men movie, which may be a sign of how quickly I felt the franchise devolved, but it does wonders to build on the original, expand the world, mine the premise for narrative gold, and set us up for both continuing X-Men films and potential Wolverine spin-offs.  

Jamie was asking me if the movie was based on stuff from the comics, and while I could definitively say it was, I also don't know exactly when and who wrote them.  I didn't get to Uncanny X-Men until around issue 170, with the kind of third incarnation of the X-Men, but - and here's my argument to the Big 2 why you just go ahead and keep on your Chris Claremonts as long as you can - all of the stuff from those stories 50-100 issues prior still had impact in what I was reading years after the fact.  The writer knew and remembered the important stuff, and it was woven into the character's lives and informed how they behaved and thought about things. *

Doc Watch: Operation Varsity Blues - The College Admissions Scandal

Watched:  03/22/2021

Format:  Netflix

Viewing:  First

Decade:  2020's

Director:  Chris Smith

Full disclosure:  My current role is in IT management at a major American university, and part of my portfolio includes Admissions.  I haven't worked for this office very long, just about a year and a half.  But I do interface continually with the folks who process, review and make admissions decisions.  

If you followed the story of actresses Lori Loughlin or Felicity Huffman as they were exposed and charged with participating in, essentially, a massively scaled bribery scandal in which coaches provided entrance to kids as walk-ons to their teams in exchange for cash, you know the broad strokes of what broke in the news back in 2019.  

"Well, That Was Delightful" Watch: Paddington (2014)

Watched:  03/21/2021

Format:  Amazon prime

Viewing:  First

Decade:  2010's

Director:  Paul King

We're doing a podcast on Paddington 2 in a bit, so I expect we'll discuss this movie and Paddington in general at that time.  

This movie is fantastic, and you should watch it.

Comics Watch: X-Men (2000)

Watched:  03/20/2021

Format:  Disney+

Viewing:  Unknown

Decade:  2000's

Director:  (ahem) Bryan Singer

Arguably *the* game changer for the entire comic book movie and TV genre - from goofy b-movies with occasional hits to the world we're in today with Justice Leagues, WandaVisions and  whatnot everywhere you look, X-Men (2000) arrived on the scene to an excited fanbase who saw a trailer that kinda/ sorta looked like an X-Men comics and seemed to treat the concept of X-Men with some faint degree of dignity.  

Now, many will argue that Blade was the kickstarter, and they're right!  But the thing about Blade was that it operated way more like a horror movie/ action adventure and less like a superhero flick - and there were maybe a couple thousand people walking around in 1998 who knew anything about Blade.  To this day, I have no idea if Blade has any real relation to the comics (and don't care.  Blade kicks ass.).  

From the late 1970's to the late 1990's, X-Men was a powerhouse franchise all its own, even within the Marvel line of comics.  It was more or less like the Game of Thrones of comics - even if you didn't read it, you knew about it, and the gravity well of the comic was massive.  In the mid-90's, I guess it was outperforming literally every other thing Marvel comics put out, so they rebooted their entire universe for about - I dunno - 6 months? minus X-Men.  Because X-Men was too big, baby!

80's Watch - Watch Party: Footloose (1984)

Watched:  03/20/2021

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  Unknown

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Herbert Ross

Gee, why don't the young people want to stay in small towns?  How did we get to this divide between rural America and urban America?

I mean, Footloose (1984) is a story that seems ridiculous, about a town where "dancing" was made illegal (something that seems so slippery and un-First Amendment-y that it's breathtaking) and one not-even-rebellious teen who's mere existence as an "outsider" is so problematic adults are out to literally destroy him, that all of this seems absurd.  Except that this stuff was very real and happened.  Baylor University in Waco, 90 minutes up the road from my house, didn't allow dancing until the late 90's. 

So, yeah, small towns where no one was going to do much but stop to fill up with gas actually would and did have goofy rules.  This was Satanic Panic time that would culminate in the PMRC and Dee Snider of all people taking down a bunch of crusty representatives looking into literally regulating the music industry.  It was also the time of MTV, and I can just see a movie studio exec looking for a story that will appeal to a wide audience - but bring in those kids who like the MTV, and be very music-video-friendly.  

Friday Watch Party: Footloose (1984)

Day:  03/19/2021

Time:  8:30 Central

Click here to fight "the man" 

Next week is Jamie's birthday, and thus I'm picking a flick she requested a bit back.  

Let's explore the urban/ rural divide as a kid from "the city" winds up in Bumfuck, BFE and is confronted by future OAN viewers.

We're gonna remember that even a crusty old minister can't keep us from gettin' down.  So get ready to DANCE.  Everything else is bullshit!

: The Black Stallion (1979)

Watched:  03/17/2021

Format:  Amazon Prime

Viewing:  Unknown - at least third

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Carroll Ballard

This is a strangely perfect movie.

Faux-Doc Watch: A Mighty Wind (2003)

A Mighty Wind (2003) is not the same, tight-knit ensemble film we got in Waiting for Guffman, and doesn't have quite the laugh-per-minute ratio or Best in Show, but, man, is it watchable and weirdly moving.  Which, in itself is a trick.  

This one centers on a rush to put on a memorial show for a former producer and promoter of folk acts from the 1960's - and thus jumps the awkward bridge of time a lot of us saw on PBS in the 1990's as concerts of folk favorites like Peter, Paul and Mary became staples of fund-raising weekends - an attempt to appeal to the nostalgia of the boomers and their wallets.  

PODCAST: "Superman III" (1983) - a Kryptonian Thought-Beast PodCast w/ SimonUK, Stuart and Ryan

Watched:  03/01/2021

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  Unknown

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Richard Lester

Other ways to listen

We assemble the finest trio possible to take on the third in the Salkind's Superman franchise - this one inexplicably very heavy on very adult comedian Richard Pryor. It's a future-shock story of the magic of computers and how they can make a Superman a grumpy gus. Join SimonUK, Stuart and Ryan as they get super excited over the sharp turn the franchise took into goofiness.

 

The Signal Watch PodCast · 140: "Superman III" (1983)- a Kryptonian Thought-Beast Episode w/ SimonUK, Stuart and Ryan

Music:

Main Title, The Streets of Metropolis - John Williams, Superman III OST

The Struggle Within/ Final Victory - John Williams, Superman III OST

 

Watch Party Watch: Staying Alive (1983)

Watched:  03/12/2021

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  I dunno.  First?  I don't remember 95% of this if I saw it.

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Sylvester Stallone

Staying Alive (1983) is the un-asked-for sequel to the 70's cultural phenomenon, Saturday Night Fever.  If you've not seen Saturday Night Fever in a bit, it's not all about Travolta as king of the disco, it's also a story about directionless young people, misdirected energy, and generational schizms in a traditional family.  

Staying Alive picks up six years later and is terrible.  

Look, the point of the first movie was realizing the world was bigger and better than a disco on a Saturday night, but six years later, Tony has made maybe incremental progress and danced his way to a 0% bodyfat physique.  Stephanie from the first film is just... gone.  She has a surrogate character in Jackie, who is doing her best to look like a JJazzercised  Anne Murray.  Jackie is Tony's friend with benefits.  I thought she was supposed to be the female lead from the first movie, but she is not.  So, we basically know nothing about her aside from the fact that she's a doormat who Tony steps out on and then TELLS HER ABOUT IT.

80's Watch: 48 Hours (1982)

Watched:  03/11/2021

Format:  Amazon Streaming

Viewing:  1st as an adult who could follow the movie

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Walter Hill!

D'aw, hell.  It's a Nick Nolte movie.

On the heels of Coming 2 America, Jamie began pondering what Eddie Murphy movies she hadn't seen, so she dialed up 48 Hours, the 1982 blockbuster starring Nick Nolte and a ready-for-stardom Eddie Murphy.   

Reviewing the movie about 40 years after the fact is a bit of a challenge.  This was in my lifetime, and I remember both the attitudes, the casual racism and names associated.  And, I did actually see this movie a couple of times as a kid, which... maybe wasn't great?  But in the 1980's, who was paying attention to what the kids were up to and we had easy access to HBO at our friends' houses.   

Friday Watch Party: Staying Alive

...lllaaaaaadies!

Here's a thing I never remember - Staying Alive was directed by Sylvester Stallone.  

I saw this movie in part or in whole in 4th grade, and my memory was "this is kinda goofy and weird".  

It's now 35-ish years later.  What will I think?

The sequel to Saturday Night Fever (which is a very, very good movie, by the way) that no one asked for - this one says "yes, but what if that kid in that movie had decided to pursue... BROADWAY?"  Which was absolutely nowhere on the map or in the meaning of the original, but here we are.

Apparently the second most famous name in this movie is Finola Hughes, so that's... something.

Anyway, I just got my first shot of COVID vaccine, and we're still here a year into March 2020, so to celebrate that we're stayin' alive, we're doing Staying Alive.

Day:  03/12/2021

Time:  8:30 central

Click here to STAY ALIVE

Cattrall Watch: Meet Monica Velour (2010)

Watched:  03/08/2021

Format:  Amazon Streaming

Viewing:  First

Decade:  2010's

Director:  Keith Bearden

I'm not really sure what qualifies as an indie film in this day and age, or even what constituted an indie movie in 2010 when Meet Monica Velour was released.  But it had been a while since I'd watched a lower-budget film like this one - and it almost hums with "this is an indie film" in a way the big studio releases I've been watching simply do not.  

The movie pitches itself as a "career high performance" for Kim Cattrall, and I'll argue - maybe!  I have only seen a fraction of her catalog, but she is, indeed, very, very good in this movie.  I totally get why she jumped at the chance to play this character, especially when the general TV and movie audience was associating her with her character on Sex and the City.  And, frankly, she nails it.  

Watch Party Watch: Any Number Can Play (1949)

Watched:  03/08/2021

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1940's

Director:  Mervyn LeRoy

Trying to be an Audrey Totter completionist, I had planned to watch this movie at some point, but just never got to it.  Had I known how many people are in the film, I probably would have watched it years ago.

Beyond Totter, the headline stars are Clark Gable and Alexis Smith, but there's also:  Barry Sullivan, Frank Morgan, Mary Astor, Wendell Corey, Leon Ames, William Conrad, and a whole bunch more you're going to recognize.  

I thought it was *fine*, but I just checked and - holy cats - do people seem to hate this movie.  There's complaints about "this movie takes place within a casino and doesn't moralize about gambling" which is... a take, I guess. It kind of misses or dismisses the actual morals of the film (don't forget your family on your way to #1, the path to friendship and respect is via truth, honesty and fairplay no matter what you do for a living), but don't let that get in the way of a good complaint.  

It's certainly not the first movie to show a man in crisis/ at the end of his rope and how it resolves in a single night as all the threads come together.  But it's the earliest one I've seen that I can think of.  Until I think of one I've seen from earlier.

I admit, the movie moved a bit slowly, and despite plastering Audrey Totter all over the poster, she honestly wasn't in it much.  Still, she's having fun playing the bad girl and fed-up wife (something she was doing a lot in this era) of Wendell Corey.  It's nothing I'd go out of my way to recommend, but once I clocked to what they were doing, I did enjoy it a bit more.

Anyway - it's a gamble to watch it.

90's Watch: Serial Mom (1994)

Watched:  03/07/2021

Format:  Amazon Prime

Viewing:  Third (so Jamie tells me)

Decade:  1990's

Director:  John Waters

In ye olde yesteryear of my first year of college, sometimes movie companies would bring films to campus before they were released and we'd see them for free.  I assume it was "word of mouth" programming, and/ or gave the marketing people some idea of how everything was about to go down, based on reaction.

My memory is that we all went apeshit for this movie.  It was new John Waters!  It had KATHLEEN TURNER!  It was sending up America's serial killer craze and the way things were covered in the media.*  

Jamie also tells me we watched it together, and I think I vaguely remember that from our early days of dating.  

Anyway, revisiting the movie 27 years later, it's aged oddly.  Not everything feels as sharp as it did at the time in the satire of suburban culture, but other parts feel just as fresh as they ever did.  Maybe not the least is the very end (SPOILERS) where, oh, shit, it turns out that person who skated through the real courts and the court of public opinion really is the nutjob they were accused of being. (END SPOILERS).  

Turner is *fantastic* in this movie.  She doesn't have to carry it - everyone is doing their part - but she's very funny, until she turns it up about halfway through, and then she's hysterical.  Turner was about 40 when this movie arrived (hair done to give her just the right slightly older look), and I have no doubt lots of "mom" roles were piling up for her as options.  If she was going to play a mom, this seems like the way to go.

The movie also features Sam Waterston as her husband, an unknown Matt Lillard as their son and Ricki Lake doing the most to make this feel like a John Waters movie as the daughter.  Justin Whalin (one of the Jimmy's from Lois & Clark) plays a pal, and Mink Stole appears as a neighbor.  And, famously, both Suzanne Somers and Patricia Hearts appear, as well as "I've gone legit" Traci Lords.  

The movie is rated-R for some gore, violence, language and nudity.  It's John Waters - I don't know what you expected.  Anyway - it's still very funny.  And, it's why, to this day, under my breath I still mutter "fuckin' Don Knotts...  he's the coolest" under my breath whenever Knotts appears on screen.

*I'm pretty sure the Tanya Harding thing was happening around the same time, so, really, between that and Jon Benet Ramsey, this feels soft on the media of the mid-90's.  

Comedy Watch: Coming 2 America (2021)

Watched:  03/06/2021

Format:  Amazon Streaming

Viewing:  First

Decade:  2020's

Director:  Craig Brewer

I saw Coming To America opening weekend in a packed theater.  For whatever reason, my mom thought that Eddie Murphy was a stitch, and we went as a family.  Over the years, I've probably watched Coming to America the most of any non-Christmas comedy, sometimes in whole, but certainly if you add up the chunks of time I've spent watching parts on cable.  In general, I feel like I know the movie pretty well. 

Jamie forewarned me that reviews for the sequel, realeased this weekend to Amazon, were lukewarm to unfavorable.  I haven't seen them.  We were going to at least try the movie.

Watch Party Watch: Deathsport (1978)

Watched:  03/05/2021

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1970's

Director:  probably best we not dwell on it

This is kinda the new bar for our Friday night watch parties.  We've sampled many flavors of movie over the year we've been in lockdown (we started off live-tweeting The Shadow on April 10th of 2020!) - and you never know how it's going to go.  But I took the advice of Nathaniel C, a guy who really knows his genre stuff, and chose Deathsport (1978) as our feature of the evening.

Do you like motorcycles?  Explosions?  Exploding motorcycles?  Plastic swords?  Iffy sci-fi dialogue and boobs?  Friends, Deathsport (1978) has all that and more.  It may lack plot, character, direction and a steadi-cam harness, but it doubles down on what it does have.  

Sometime in the distant future, after a nuclear war of some sort, matte paintings of cities will be ruled by guys who look vaguely like Johnny Cash's ill sibling.  The wastelands between will be inhabited by mutants (people with ping-pong balls cut in half and covering their eyes), and "rangers", an idea stolen awkwardly from Tolkein.  The city's will have something called "Deathsport", which is like a motorcycle stunt show with murder.  

I cannot stress enough that you can get a flashlight that will disintegrate people, horses and doors, but folks seem obsessed with using swords and motorcycles to do their murder.  I should mention - the swords are well intentioned - someone made them out of plexiglass and the basic concept is kind of cool.  Except they look exactly like plexiglass, and I have to assume they broke a few in production.  

With an inevitable dash of pretention, the "rangers" have their own code and manner of dialog that isn't inherently bad.  I've seen similar pulled off just fine in all kinds of sci-fi and fantasy, but here - it just isn't working.  And so it is very bad, indeed.  I don't know if it's the flat line delivery or that we keep seeing Carradine in a diaper and Uggs, but it just feels like no one was sure how it would or should work.  

The movie is titled Deathsport, but unlike, say, Deathrace 2000, there's very little Deathsport.  Deathsport is a gladiatorial game that David Carrdine and his lady-friend (Claudia Jennings) get thrown into as Rangers, versus city-dwelling Statesmen, who hate the Rangers.  They are mercilessly driven near by guys on dirtbikes - here called "Death Machines" - who ensure they are within sword range and very, very combustible.  Like, look at them funny or a strong breeze hits them just right, and they're blowing up with 5x the capacity their gas tanks could have mustered.  So many explosions, just blasting off everywhere.

I guess there's a story, but it doesn't matter.  An argument is made about a lack of fuel and remainin technology, but it doesn't play into the movie - kind of the opposite.  Instead, it's Richard Lynch taking his helmet off and chasing Carradine and Jennings across very familiar terrain if you've ever seen anything ever shot outside in Southern California.*  There's a slowly maddening head of a city who is just a dick, gets his while taking a moment to torture a nude lady with Christmas lights in PVC pipes.  It's a whole thing.

Maybe the most remarkable part of this very remarkable film is the sound, both music and sound effects.  I can kind of see why letting a cat run across your synth would seem like a fine idea for a score, and there's all kinds of music that gets inserted in - including sexy sax during a fight scene.  But the score is... just really something.  

I don't know who did sound design on this, but it was not Ben Burtt.  Someone chose a few sounds, did not pay attention to whether they would be awful if you had to hear them every time a motorcycle passed the camera, and then never reviewed their work before releasing the film.  It's some absolutely insane/ maddening stuff.  Every choice made to suggest the motorcycles do not sound like dirtbikes is a tragic mistake, and may the sound designer find peace, for they were clearly a tormented soul if this was working for them.

Anyway - highly recommended.

The Vasquez Rocks may be the single most filmed location on Earth.

Friday Watch Party: Deathsport (1978)

I think after last week, we all need a palette cleanser.  

I have no idea what this is other than an unofficial sequel to Deathrace 2000.  But it reportedly in no way connects to that movie, nor seems to be a spiritual heir.  I have no idea what this is.  But I bet there's a minimum of sex on lightbulb shards.

But, we'll see.  Could be nothing but.

Recommended by genre-movie nut Nate C from up in the Pacific Northwest, we're going for it!

Day:  Friday March 5

Time:  8:30 Central

CLICK TO DEATHSPORT