Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Your Questions Answered: A Peppering of Questions

My wife asks:

Gorilla vs. Robot. Who wins? (your choice as to how literally you'd like to interpret this question)

bonus question: Lucy vs. Scout. Who wins?

Question # 1:  We do.
Question # 2:  Nobody.

JimD asks:

1. Supes v. Alistair? Who wins?
2. Ten years ago, The League began this blogging thing. If we could transport 2003 League to 2013, what would he say about the world he surveys here?
3. Compare the child reader of comic books in 1986 (who could go to 711 and purchase a new issue) with his 2013 counterpart. What changed, and why?
4. Can we trust those youths who have no meaningful memories of the 1990's?
5. What does it all mean?

Question # 1:  Alistair has the upper hand because he exists.  But does he?  Do any of us exist?  Ironically, in pondering this question Alistair would realize that existence does not precede essence and he would totally fold in an imaginary fist fight with imaginary Superman, thus losing to Superman in the only way that matters.

Question # 2:  What are those glowing boxes everyone is carrying around in their hand?  Is that a Blackberry?  What IS that?  The President is a youngish black guy and not Dick Cheney?  I didn't call that at all.  Paris Hilton is still alive?  I'm fatter than I expected.  Oh, look, they have a Cinn-a-bon.  Can I have one?  So, good thing we found all those weapons in Iraq, then, huh?  What?  Oh, hell.  American Idol is still on?  What do you mean they made a Superman movie and now they're rebooting the whole thing?  Whoa, have you seen this Christina Hendricks person?  Holy moley.  I got rich from blogging, right?  Right?

Question # 3:  Well, the Direct Market happened and comics wanted to use swears and appeal to older kids, which became appealing to young adults and it became unprofitable to deal with the way print is sold on magazine racks, anyway, so it became easier to evacuate the drug stores and groceries and hide in comic shops lest we face down angry parents again like we did in the 50's.  With the spinner rack gone, comics are something kids have to seek out and find, no longer discover on their own in the grocery aisle, and it's made it a lot harder to find new readers, but that seems okay by the standards of 2013.  Departing the spinner rack demonstrated a beginning of the end of the hucksterism and entrepreneurial spirit of mainstream comics and signaled the start of comics by bean counting and creating by misleading statistics.  It also meant the end of trying to appeal to anyone but people willing to walk into dirty, grungy stores in low-rent strip malls in order to buy an overpriced 32 page flyer featuring children's characters.  I'm just saying.

Question # 4:  I tend to think not.  I drive past a high school every day on my way to work, and the kids are starting to dress like they're in a Young MC video or maybe big Madonna fans.  I don't think they know that's what they're emulating.  The undergrads I see are basically okay, but they're easily distracted and swayed by anything from donuts to sparkley lights.  Basically, I don't trust anyone who still has dreams or aspirations.

Question # 5:  We should probably try harder and stop complaining.

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