Hallo-Watch: The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939)

Watched:  10/14/2025

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  First

Director:  William Dieterle

Back in the 1970's and early 1980's, we were coming out of a monster movie craze aimed at kids.  I don't know how serious the craze was, but it did mean I wound up with a lot of monster movie books - but there was never a great criteria for what made a movie monster.  You might see the Wolf Man listed, which made sense - he changes shape and attacks nice folks.  And then you'd see The Phantom of the Opera, who is just a dude with an unfortunate condition and a penchant for sopranos, but did murder plenty of people.  And then, like, Jaws. So, large animals.   

Even as a kid I found the inclusion of The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939) odd.  He was just a guy with a physical condition, and he wasn't out slitting throats or anything.  If his condition made him a monster, I had an elementary school guidance counselor who should have been far spookier and less of a great guy.

In short, this is a drama, not a horror movie.  It would be like calling Mask a horror movie because it has make-up effects to change an actor's appearance.  You live and learn.

Anyway, there is this 1939 version starring Charles Laughton and a very young Maureen O'Hara  (she's like 18 here) and then there's the OG silent version starring Lon Chaney, which I've never seen, but I will take in soon.  I've seen the Disney version on a 13" TV on VHS once, didn't like it much, and moved on with my life.

Drew Struzan Merges With The Infinite

 

Artist Drew Struzan, who painted the iconic posters for a wide, wide range of favorite movies during my lifetime, has passed.

I include the poster for Big Trouble in Little China above as, if Jamie would tolerate it, we'd most certainly have it up in the house.  Not only does it feature tremendous likenesses of Kurt Russell and Kim Cattrall, reason enough to have such a poster, it really captures the spirit of the film, full of action, supernatural nonsense, and two dopes caught in the middle.

Hallo-Watch: The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

Watched:  10/12/2025

Format:  Prime

Viewing:  First

Director:  George Miller

I checked Roger Ebert's review of The Witches of Eastwick (1987).  Look, some movies are a product of their time, and this is one.  Ebert found it an edgy, sexy romp.  And that was how I remember the movie being discussed in 1987.

I finally got to the movie here in 2025, and in short, all of the interesting bits are left off-screen.  We hear about them, can infer or guess other bits.  But we're still in 1980's America here, and if you want to not wind up in the midnight movie ghetto, you keep it polite so Mom and Dad have a movie they can sneak off to go see and leave you alone with a rented copy of Beastmaster.  

The Witches of Eastwick is about two divorcees and a widow (Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer and Cher) who live in a small Rhode Island town where they are hit upon by married men and saddled with lives they don't want.  The three get together on Thursdays to eat processed crap food, drink, play cards and have someone listen.

During one such session, they describe what they want in a man, and, lo and behold, these three women - with what X-Men comics would call latent magical abilities - seem to summon exactly that man to their town in the form of Jack Nicholson/ some light version of Satan.  

Nicholson buys a massive mansion (think Newport on steroids) and proceeds to be an ass around town and impresses everyone he meets.  

He swiftly seduces Cher, Sarandon and... in front of the other two, Pfeiffer.  

Chabert Hallo-Watch: Haul Out The Halloween (2025)

Watched: 10/12/2025

Format:  Hallmark+

Viewing:  First

Director:  Maclain Nelson

Job: Copywriter/ Children's Book Author

Location of story:  Evergreen Lane - which I think is in Salt Lake City

new skill:  it's an old skill remembered - how to draw and write kid's books

Man:  Wes Brown

Job of Man:  Architect

Goes to/ Returns to:  stays in same place (this is the 3rd installment)

Event:  Halloween street fair

Food:  Cookies

Well, Ms. Lacey Chabert has released a new movie upon the Hallmark channel, and so we're back!

This is the third installment in the Haul Out the Holly Saga, a movie series which is about people who are absolutely nuts for holidays, their HOA and rules.  We've abandoned Christmas for Halloween this go-round, which - given the first movies are about going over the top with traditions - seems appropriate.  

This is, I should mention, a wacky comedy series with everything about the 'burbs heightened and zany, so don't take it too seriously.  It's a departure from Hallmark's usual "the characters are all smiling to let you know a joke happened" style of comedy, and, instead, works more like an 00's-era comedy - complete with joke-every-15-second pop culture referencing and a rap by Octogenarians.  

Hallo-Watch: Hereditary (2018)

Watched:  10/12/2025

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  First

Director:  Ari Aster

I really liked Midsommar by the same director, and I'd heard about 75% good things about Hereditary (2018) and maybe 25% meh to bad.  

Alas, the only scary thing in this movie is the pacing.   I get trying to build a mood, but holy cats, the mood should not be "for the love of Mike, get on with it".  The two hour run time felt like more than three.  And it just wasn't my bag, baby.  

I guess maybe if I hadn't already seen Midsommar, this might have been more effective, but that is not how things transpired.  Frankly, I was shocked at the audacity of Aster to have two movies with such similar endings back to back.  

The premise is fine, I guess.  Weird, controlling mother dies.  Daughter is accidentally killed.  Whoops, there's a secret cult worshipping an off-brand demon who has inhabited the daughter/ is merged with her? and now, in a ghostly fashion, slowly bothers this family to death.  And it's one of those movies where the evil wins (dramatic music).  Which would mean something if I cared what happened to any single character is this movie.  Temu Satan is going to take over the world because of these dopes?  I guess we got what we paid for.

I think the thing we're supposed to be impressed by are moods and the kooky connections we see, like Charlie, the girl, meaningfully cutting the head off a dead bird.  And oh boy, will decapitation ever be a motif.  Or her wanting to build effigies (much as her mother does in her own way).  

The selling point is supposed to be the family trauma.  Which, okay.  But... I didn't know these people at any point when they weren't brooding or gnashing their teeth or both.  So that's it - that's how I know them.  Unhappy people who become increasingly unhappy.

Meanwhile, the music is doing a lot of heavy lifting to insist scenes are intense or scary as we just kinda sit there as an audience waiting for the next piece of movie plot track to get laid down.  

I dunno, I just feel like I've seen one too many cult movies, and this one sort of just was that mixed with the 2010's horror trend of "the unknown" bothering nice white folks in their semi-rural house.  I didn't care about what was happening at any given moment, which is a weird way to feel when you're watching a movie.  If I'd turned it off and read the Wikipedia synopsis, I think I would have gotten the same amount out of the experience.

 

DC Studios Universe Watch: Peacemaker Season 2

I'm pretty sure we didn't talk much about Peacemaker Season 1 around here.  Which is too bad, I quite liked it.  

Peacemaker Season 2 just finished on HBOmax.  And, man, are the reactions online weird.  

And, look, I want to be a kind person, but sometimes it's really clear that

• once a show moves beyond a certain number of episodes/ duration, and therefore snowballs in complexity, some viewers don't know how to watch a movie or TV show without being spoonfed what is happening
• in 2025, people are still actively worrying about their fan theories and judging a show based on whether or not the show matches the story they told themselves.  Why would you watch a show so predictable you know exactly where it's going?
• a lot of folks think that if something is character driven, nothing has happened, which just blows my gourd
• a lot of people who consider themselves experts on "the comics" don't seem to actually know anything about the comics.  And I say this as someone who knows nothing about Peacemaker other than that he's a Charlton character with a very oddball helmet.

Diane Keaton Merges With The Infinite

Diane Keaton has passed at the age of 79.

I think for a lot of folks, across a few generations, this one is going to hit hard.  Keaton as an actress played some of the most important roles of the 20th century with her titular role in Annie Hall and in Allen's Manhattan.  And, of course, she's Kay Adams/ Corleone in three Godfather films.  

She was in innumerable other films, of course.  Father of the Bride, Something's Gotta Give, First Wives Club, Baby Boom.  She carved out a place for a sort of intellectual, independent, often quirky woman as a character on screen, but also in real life.  She was also a producer and director, from time to time.  And generally beloved by film aficionados from the 1970's to the current era.

It is odd... I was just thinking this week that I hadn't heard anything about Diane Keaton in a while, but hadn't been concerned, exactly.  I'd just observed I hadn't seen her name attached to anything in a bit. 

Condolences to her family and loved ones.  She'll be very missed.

Berkley-Watch: Showgirls (1995) - w/ Elizabeth Berkley at the Paramount Theatre, Austin, TX - 10/09/2025

Watched:  10/09/2025

Format:  Paramount Theatre

Viewing:  I don't know, man

Director:  Verhoeven

I kinda knew going to see Showgirls (1995) in a theater in 2025 was going to kick-ass, no matter what.  There is a self-selected group of fans of this movie, and I guess I'm now part of this unruly mob.  

As (a) someone who crushed hard on Jessie Spano in high school and graduated with the Bayside High gang, and (b) who was a bit goggle-eyed that Berkley made her pivot into major motion pictures with Showgirls, (c) and who felt she got a raw deal from deeply ingrained misogyny of the 1990's (maybe I didn't feel that so much in 95', but it was a growing realization later.), and (d) has delighted in how Elizabeth Berkley seems to have embraced this thing that could have wrecked her...  

An idea I had that ultimately was part of what killed the PodCast was "I want to watch Showgirls with people and ask them what they think.  Over and over and over."  Because, truly, the movie is a mirror to the viewer and a Rorschach test.  While I have ideas about what I think it says about dreams, the American dream, showbiz dreams and what all of them cost (as well as plenty to say about sex and how it is offered and used as a commodity in entertainment) - that's me, man.  I wanted to sit down and have other folks work through the movie.  But to a person, when I suggested it, they said they would not do that.  And, so, my podcasting dreams were dashed.

Then, a short while ago, Berkley said she was coming to Austin of all places for her 30th Anniversary screening of the opus, and, yeah, buddy, I was in.

Parker Watch: Play Dirty (2025)

Watched:  10/09/2025

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  First

Director:  Shane Black

Between 1962 and 2008, author Richard Stark (real name: Donald Westlake) delivered 24 Parker and Grofield novels.   Between sometime around 2010 and 2017, I read all of the Parker and Grofield books, mostly in order.  And I've re-read some since, including this year.  That's not a guarantee of anything for you, but it is a sign of something that this was the series I actually stuck with it.

Over the years, the books have been adapted here and there, but during Stark's lifetime, he had a rule that the studios not use the name "Parker" in their adaptations.  Likely because the studios always made changes, and he was protecting the essence of his character.

With Stark/ Westlake's passing, his wife allowed the studios to try another go at an adaptation, this time using the Parker name.  And, thus, we got the 2013 mid-tier film, Parker, starring Jason Statham and Jennifer Lopez.  We talked about it here and here. 

But now we have a new take... and I do not know who this is for.

Hallo-Watch: Jakob's Wife (2021)

Watched:  10/07/2025

Format:  Shudder

Viewing:  First

Director:  Travis Stevens

During the Q&A for the screening of Re-Animator, star Barbara Crampton mentioned she'd produced and starred in a horror movie recently, Jakob's Wife (2021).  I recalled the name from last year's mini-dive into Crampton's work, but didn't get to the movie.  But we've fixed that.

One fun thing about horror is that even when you say "vampire movie", it only really means a potential set of rules and maybe a gentle push a few directions.  Eggers' Nosferatu is not Coogler's Sinners is not Garrard's Slay.  You can change up the rules, and change up the look, as long as you do a few key things, usually involving blood consumption and slow discovery of evil.  But not always!

The high concept of vampirism can be used to explore themes well beyond "a foreigner has moved in next door, and probably brought rats with him".  To that end, Jakob's Wife digs not just into the traditional roles of men and women, but of women as they reach a certain age, denied a life of their own in prescribed servitude.  

Our titular Jakob (Larry Fessenden) is a pastor of a church in a dying southern town.  He's leading his diminishing flock, preaching traditional values of a man's role in his family.  His wife, Anne (Barbara Crampton) is the dutiful pastor's wife.  She's past the point of youth, married thirty years and feeling life passing her by as the perpetual prop to her husband.