Friday, June 25, 2021

FRIDAY WATCH PARTY - "From Justin to Kelly"

Back around 2002, a show debuted on American television that would introduce the nation to its first not-pleasant gameshow personality, Simon Cowell.  That show was American Idol, a program which has left a string of forgettable personalities and the occasional dead body.  

The two finalists of the first season got recording deals, and a movie.  Why a movie?  When you're plucking nobodies from nowheresville who were the third best singer in their high school choir and live in their parents' basement?  I have no idea.  But the end result will also have you saying:  what the @#$% is this @#$%ing movie?

That @#$%ing movie is From Justin to Kelly (2003), a singularly terrible film-like-thing that manages to be bad in a way that is hard to describe/ quantify/ explain.  It sets its bar as low as any fradulent cash-in, and yet, somehow, manages to dig below that bar and far into the Earth's mantle.

It's a musical!  It's a horny college spring break film!  It's shot entirely through filters!  It's not even trying to hide the fact these people can't act.  It has a script seemingly drafted by a man who is probably estranged from his adult children, but who still likes to hang out in places young women frequent so he can comment upon them to young males, like he's one of them, making the young men very uncomfortable.

Because no one ever leaves showbiz, Justin is now "Lil Sweet" in Diet Dr. Pepper Commercials, and somehow Kelly Clarkson simply continues to insist on being an incredibly successful fixture for people with tastes best described as "very basic".

Day:  Friday, 06/25/2021
Time:  9:00 PM Central/ 7:00 PM Pacific
Service:  Amazon Watch Party
Rental cost:  $3.99 HD

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