Chuck Norris Merges With The Infinite

Chuck Norris - sometime Texan, internet meme, ace martial artist, actor, star of B-movies and the long running Walker: Texas Ranger - has passed.

Anti-Western Watch: McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971)

for reasons I don't understand, all of the posters for this movie are bangers

Watched:  03/19/2026

Format:  TCM on DVR

Viewing:  First

Director:  Robert Altman

A much beloved Robert Altman movie that was part of the new Hollywood movement and a "revisionist" Western, I'd long heard this was one to see.  And as a movie that was part of a specific moment in movie history, and a very watchable movie - glad I did.

We're 55 years out from the release of this movie, and the mythology of the expansion of the West carved out in the pulps, dime novels and movies has been exploded endlessly during my lifetime, with very little made to reinforce the supposed white and black hats of the cowboy movies.*

Warren Beatty plays someone who may or may not be named John McCabe, a gambler who is smarter than the dum-dums out at the mining town he stumbles upon, but nowhere near as smart as he believes himself to be.  McCabe sees an opportunity and starts a saloon and brothel.  Out of nowhere, a Mrs. Miller (Julie Christie) appears, offering to run the place for McCabe.  

Happy Birthday, Vanessa Williams

Today is the birthday of singer, actor and the reason I've watched several movies I otherwise would not, Vanessa Williams.  

Here's a video that will take people of a certain age back to a very certain time and place.

Turning Heel: Alamo Drafthouse Decides Movie Watchers Are the Worst

seen seated: the people excited for the direction of Alamo Drafthouse

I am unsure when I first went to The Alamo Drafthouse.  I know it was when it was still on Colorado when downtown Austin's skyline wasn't trying to look like Vancouver or San Diego's younger, dumber cousin.

Viewings I took in there included the OG Planet of the Apes, and Jamie came with me to a pasta dinner for the epic Once Upon a Time in the West where we were served some truly terrible red wine.  There were other movies at this locale, but those stick out.

Later, we went to the South Lamar location when it was in an old Fiesta grocery store, and when The Alamo Drafthouse opened The Ritz on Austin's famed 6th Street, I was a regular there as well.  These days I do the Slaughter Lane location as its near my house, and South Lamar if I'm feeling daffy.

I watched the Alamo institute a "select your seat" option online as people were having to show up earlier and earlier before shows to secure the correct seats - well before other theaters bothered.

During a lengthy run, from when we moved back in 2006 to when I watched Shane at Mueller just before COVID lockdown, I was at the Alamo once or twice a week.  There were regulars - I didn't know their names, but you kind of eyeballed each other and knew who people were.  Hope "Grey T-Shirt Guy" is doing okay (he was at every screening of everything).  

As cell phones and manners have never been humanity's strong suit, The Alamo was a front runner in clearly stating - no.  Not here.  No talking or texting, or you'll be asked to leave.  Without a refund.

The video below ran before movies for years.  Because it worked.  It demonstrated you, who talk and text, are an asshole and we will openly mock you.

Safari Watch: Mogambo (1953)

Gable is just gonna take a peek right there on the poster

Watched:  03/15/2026

Format:  TCM on DVR

Viewing:  First

Director:  John Ford

This is a movie where Clark Gable's dilemma is choosing between Grace Kelly and Ava Gardner and I have never felt less sympathy toward any man in a predicament.  

Mogambo (1953) is a lavish spectacle of a picture, shot on location in multiple African countries, and probably John Ford's answer to The African Queen, which was released in 1951 and won all sorts of Oscars.  Clark Gable plays a 1950's Great White Hunter, now catching live animals for zoos, circuses, etc...  He lives in deep bush country and rarely ventures out (he must really stock up on Brylcream during those trips).  He works with an Englishman he calls "Brownie", and a thug of a Russian, as well as a large coterie of local labor.

Ava Gardner is a nice enough girl from the New York club scene who has come to Gable's jungle headquarters to join a maharajah on safari - but her suitor has already left by the time she arrives.  And they're so far out, the next boat isn't due for a week.  

Gardner and Gable spar a little, but it's also obvious they start having sex.  

She's due to leave on the next boat when a British couple arrives, the husband a well-heeled anthropologist, and Grace Kelly his proper wife.  They want to go into the lowlands and find some gorillas and record audio.*

Horror Watch: Friday the 13th Part VI - Jason Lives (1986)

Watched:  03/13/2026

Format:  Prime

Viewing:  First

Director:  Tom McLoughlin

JAL texted me at the end of the work day on Friday and said "You have to watch Friday the 13th Part VI.  It will make you miss Showplace 6".   

I was more likely to go see Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome at Showplace 6 than a horror movie during the window he and I were hitting the family owned theater in North Austin, but I get it.  The place was there for us during a crucial period of movie-going.  It was the kind of theater that welcomed kids, did not ask if we were 17 before letting us into Rated-R movies, and always had Spree as an option for candy.

As stated *last* Friday the 13th when we watched the first Friday the 13th movie, these movies were never part of my canon.  I've not really spent time with them.  But after watching two of them, I *do* have a pitch for a new one, which I'll share at the end.*

I guess in the 4th movie, they killed Jason?  Like, fer reals?  Which - this is where I found out Jason wasn't previously a magical kill zombie?  You learn new things all the time.  It seems the fifth movie was about the Corey Feldman character, now played by someone else, becoming the killer?  And that went over like a lead balloon, so they re-cast the character *again*, ignored his murderous tendencies and made him the focal character for this installment as Jason is reborn from a lightning strike (it makes sense in the moment).  

Anyway - rejuvenated and feeling fancy free, Jason spends the day killing everyone he can find in what feels like a highly populated recreational forest area.  I mean, he is just finding new victims hither and yon.  

There's absolutely nothing *scary* in this movie - it's like watching an NES side-scroller play-through of Jason killing people.  But it does have good set pieces, the best of which is the Winnebago stuff.  

But, man, does it look like everyone making this movie is having fun.  Even the prop department.  There's a "well, we tried" fake head that rolls out of a truck.  And someone was very good at a very particular blood splatter pattern we see performed like five times.  

This is the stuff that drove moral crusaders nuts in the 1980's that teens knew was just a good time, and has subsequently been absorbed into the popular consciousness to such a degree *no one bothers to talk about horror movies as being a problem anymore*.  

Is the movie good?  No.  Is it fun?  Yes.  It has no artistic aspirations, and wants to say nothing other than "this goon in a mask will murder you good", and sometimes that's all you need, I guess.  But we're past trying to scare anyone here, just get hoots and hollers from the audience as an assortment of folks are dispatched in a series of creative ways.

It does make me wonder what Jason does during his downtime.

*I think you could make a good Friday the 13th as a sort of Road Runner or Tom and Jerry cartoon, with Jason trying to get Natasha Lyonne as our Final Girl, and there's lots of 4th wall breaking

G Watch: Mothra Vs. Godzilla (1964)

Watched:  03/12/2026

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  Unknown

Director:  Ishiro Honda

Ten years after the original stomping of Tokyo, Toho had produced only two more Godzilla movies, but in 1961 had introduced Mothra and all of the crazy mythology around our big, buggy friend.  

Worth nothing, one of the two sequels to the original Godzilla was King Kong vs. Godzilla and I would guess Toho looked at the big ol' Mothra puppet they still owned, knew that two monsters were better than one, and said "heck - we don't need to license the ape anymore.  We have... a moth!"  

I've seen this one a few times, but felt the need for some old-school Showa-era action, and so put it on once more.  It's got a lot of things I dig.  

• Godzilla
• Mothra
• the Faeries
• Infant Island
• a snappy wardrobe for our female lead
• men with absolutely immaculate hair

It's also very suspicious of both venture capitalists and shady businessmen.  And, conniving public officials with an eye for the camera.  The more things change.

When a giant egg shows up in a local bay, it's sold to an amusement park empresario who wants to make it the centerpiece of his newest park (he seems wholly unconcerned that eggs hatch, even four story eggs).  The Faeries arrive from Infant Island and recruit reporter Ichiro Sakai and his photographer sidekick Junko Nakanishi along with scientist Professor Miura to help them get the egg back from the evil businessmen.

In a scene I think is pretty cool, Godzilla emerges from the sand of a reclaimed beach, and starts his stomping across Tokyo, seemingly looking for the egg.  

Turns out Humanity needs the help of the people of Infant Island to convince Mothra to help out, but the island was just used for nuclear testing.

While, yes, this is a movie that ends with a battle between Godzilla and two giant moth larvae, it still has some interesting themes - from the ripples of destruction sewn by naked greed to man's wastefulness and arrogance.  Mothra, who has seen her island nuked by humans, who then stole her agg/ children - is STILL willing to step in and save humanity while the spirit of reckoning in the form of Godzilla is here to wipe the slate clean.

Also, you get treated to a very, very long version of the Mothra carol.

Western Wise Watch: Two Flags West (1950)

Watched:  03/08/2026

Format:  YouTube link here

Viewing:  First

Director:  Robert Wise

Interesting premise for a film, and, in my opinion - very well executed.  

In 1864, Joseph Cotten is a captured Confederate infantry officer.  Cornel Wilde plays a wounded Union officer who won't be sent back to the front line, but which the Army of the Republic will send to the frontier.  Lincoln is offering Confederate prisoners an opportunity to join the Union Army and go protect the mail routes and interests on the US, freeing up the regular soldiers to fight in the war.  And, so Wilde recruits Cotten and his regiment, which Cotten does so he won't die or disease in a frigid Illinois prison.

Arrived, we find the Fort is headed by a semi-crippled officer, Major Henry Kenniston (Jeff Chandler).  Kenniston's brother was killed during a major battle, widowing Linda Darnell.  Darnell plays a Californian/ former-Mexican (playing Hispanic was something she did in a couple of movies, it seems) and is the object of desire for Wilde, Chandler and maybe a bit for Cotten.  She is, after all, Linda Darnell.  

Chandler's officer has a bit of a Kurtz/ Ahab vibe.  His leg is not what it was, and he has a mad-on for anyone who isn't a union soldier.  Also, he is maybe lightly holding his sister-in-law at the Fort despite her wish to get to California.  The "I hate everyone" bit is a bad fit for the arriving ex-Confederates.  And the Natives outside the Fort, with whom he is developing beef.

Australian Neo-Noir Watch: The Dry (2020)

Watched:  03/05/2026

Format:  Hulu

Viewing:  First

Director:  Robert Connolly

A while back, for various reasons, Jamie and I both read the novel The Dry. It was a big seller in Australia, where it was written and takes place.  And made its way here where I think it's done well.  

I asked for some downtime before I watched the inevitable movie adaptation so I could try to see it with fresh eyes, and hadn't honestly, thought about the book much since I read it.  It's fine!  Go read it.  But I think Jamie saw it starred Eric Bana and was happy to watch - and, anyhoo... here we are.

In the way of movies adapting popular books - the movie is largely a straight adaptation with some extraneous bits knocked off and some efficiencies found in storytelling.  But the film really does capture the mood of the novel, and as Jamie and I agreed, it looks more or less exactly how I saw it in my mind's eye.  Bleak, oppressive - a murder mystery in sun-scorched rural Australia.  

Hallmark Watch: The Stars Between Us (2026)

Watched:  03/03/2026

Format:  Hallmark

Viewing:  First

Director:  Michael Robison

I didn't used to post on Hallmark movies I put on as time-fillers, but I'm trying to be accurate.  I kind of watched this while looking up other things.

Why we watched this boiled down to neither of us being in the mood for anything challenging as we dealt with other things, and I'd already stated that I am watching basketball Wednesday night, so as this was highly ranked at Ye Olde Hallmark, this is what we landed on.

It stars Sarah Drew, who is a big name on TV in shows I don't watch (Grey's Anatomy, for example), and Matt Long who I know from Mad Men a few years back.  But those are just the folks on the poster.  This movie has a B-romance plot featuring Donna Benedicto (who is in a million things) and Noah Paul.  

The basic gist of the film is that seven years prior, Kim (Drew) met Malcolm (Long) briefly at an Eclipse party.  He was there as an astronomer, and she was there for vague reasons with a fiance.  They met and had an instant connection as they talked for what seemed to be about ten minutes before she ran off to her late-arriving fiance.  

Seven years later, Kim is working at a TV station in the news department, divorced, living with her mom and has a kid in tow when she lands an on-camera assignment to cover the eclipse.  This will make or break her career.

Wise Watch: Three Secrets (1950)

Watched:  03/01/2026

Format:  YouTube

Viewing:  First

Director:  Robert Wise

Apparently 1950 was the year Robert Wise made the jump from RKO and into more prestigious pictures, apparently handed a melodrama and what I'd loosely call a "women's picture" at his new studio, Warner Bros.  

Why he was tapped for this movie, I don't know.  Maybe the complexity of a multi-pronged story and everything that would need to be included meant WB decided that an ex-editor like Wise was a good fit?  But for what the movie is - he makes it work.

The story is more than half flashback.  The inciting incident is that a family has crashed their plane on top of a mountain, and only the five year old son has survived.  No one knows his true condition, but a rescue effort is mounted to retrieve him.  A bit like the 1980's incident with Baby Jessica or the soccer team trapped in the cave, the world is watching, with bated breath.  

Happy Birthday Cara Buono

 

Happy birthday to Cara Buono, who today's kids will, in about five years, figure out was why their dads were watching Stranger Things with them.

Buono has appeared in Mad Men, Sopranos, and in a truncated (thanks to COVID) season of Supergirl.  

Rhonda Watch: Lionheart (1990)

Watched:  02/28/2026

Format:  YouTube/ Up All Night

Viewing:  First

Director:  Sheldon Lettich

Well, I'd made it to 2026 without caring if I ever saw Lionheart (1990), but this was the movie programmed on Rhonda Shear's Up All Night.  

Y'all, it's possible Lionheart isn't a great movie.

Jean-Claude Van Damme is a member of the French Foreign Legion hanging out in Djibouti who hears his brother was injured in Los Angeles, so he asks to leave, but is refused.  So he - being JCVD - fights his way out, jumps a ship and winds up in Los Angeles doubling for New York.

Back in the 1990's, Bum Fights became a thing.  Because exploiting people hadn't been refined into reality TV quite yet.  Anyway, Leon (JCVD) enters a bum fight and wins some money.  He pairs up with actual actor Harrison Page as a former fighter named Joshua who kind of does all the acting in this movie.

Anyway - they get more fights including one for rich people's amusement organized by a sexy but shady lady, Cynthia (Deborah Rennard).  She decides she wants to kind of own JCVD, but he just needs to get to Los Angeles where he learns his brother has died.  He goes and finds his brother's widow (Lisa Pelikan) who has amazing red hair, and he moppet of a daughter.  She rejects him and his help, so he uses Joshua to slip her money as is it's insurance money. 

 Eventually he has to fight a much larger guy and the French Foreign Legion guys find him, and that's our movie.

Chabert Watch Bonus: She Said/He Said - a 2006 Unaired TV Pilot

Well, every once in a while I'll hit the internet to see if I can turn up one of the remaining items on the 'ol Chabert-a-Tron 3000, and this time we came up yahtzee, finding the unaired TV Pilot for a little show called She Said/ He Said - a title sure to plague any SEO and likely made IT folks very sad if this got aired.

Fortunately, they were never in any danger of that.  This pilot is so bad, it's absolutely stunning anyone wanted to make it based on the script alone.  

But here it is (until it gets pulled down):

Wise/ Totter Noir Watch: The Set-Up (1949)

Watched:  02/27/2026

Format:  TCM on my DVR

Viewing:  I have no idea anymore

Director:Robert Wise

It took me a minute to get to The Set-Up (1949) as the next film up in my Robert Wise retrospective watch, mostly because I had just watched it last April.  That said - while I don't have a list of favorite films at this point, if I did, I suppose this would be one of them.  It stars two of my favorites with Robert Ryan and Audrey Totter, who both get to do great character work.  I'm not sure you get Rocky without this movie, but maybe - though I think they share a lot in their DNA.

Ryan plays an aging boxer - he's over thirty-five, and he's still boxing the small circuit, nowhere near the top of the card.  He's still living hand-to-mouth and has a girl who - until recently - believed in him, Julie (Totter).  The night we find them, she's lost faith.  She can't stand seeing him go into the ring and get pummeled, see him after when he can't even recognize her, his brains are so scrambled.  He's wrecking his health and their future for a dream that isn't possible.

Told in real-time (no fooling - like, to the minute) the movie follows roughly 75 minutes that will define the lives of both.

What's fascinating is that this movie has That Barton Fink Feeling - it's a movie about people living on the edge.  And those people are not just Stoker Thompson and Julie.  The movie has over a dozen real characters, and everyone is going through something.  

Heist Neo-Noir Watch: Crime 101 (2026)

Watched:  02/26/2026

Format:  Alamo

Viewing:  First

Director:  Bart Layton

If the title Crime 101 (2026) seems a little uninspired, what I think I'd say is - it feels like this movie is by someone who has seen and likes the same movies I've seen and liked.  And that's... fine.  If you don't watch a lot of heist movies, this may feel fresh.  It has a sprawling, winding storyline intersecting three compelling characters.  And it has an all-star cast that made the movie a real treat.  

Chris Hemsworth plays one of the modern takes on the post-Parker, post Le Samourai crooks - a loner with seemingly no life but the crimes they'll commit.  No friends, no family.  He's stolen millions in expensive jewels.  His connection/ fence/ maybe mentor is no less than Nick Nolte.  Mark Ruffalo is a cop who is such a rogue *he plays by the rules*.  He may be on the LAPD, but he's not just framing people to get his numbers up.  Also, his wife (Jennifer Jason Leigh!) is leaving him.  Halle Berry is an insurance salesperson (I missed the actual job title) to the uber-wealthy.  If you need someone to help you get your Matisse insured, she's your gal.  But she's also realizing her place in her company - and it isn't a rocket ride to the top.  

Disney+ Watch: The Parent Trap (1998)

 

Watched:  02/25/2026

Format:  Disney+

Viewing:  First

Director:  Nancy Meyers

I forgot I intended to watch the new Predator movie, and so when Jamie asked if I had something to watch I shrugged and mumbled, and so she pitched the 1998 version of The Parent Trap.  We just watched the original (me for the first time), and while I knew this film would not have any Maureen O'Hara, I figured it would be interesting to see the differences between Hayley Mills² and the version co-starring Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan.

I did not know that this movie was Lohan's first role in a movie - let alone the starring role.  I may not have been paying much attention to this movie in 1998, or to Lohan the past (cough) 28 years.  A lot of credit to everyone who spotted her as a talent and got her the role.*  She's super good in this.

TV Watch: Heated Rivalry

Well.  I've now seen all of the 2026 hockey/ romance sensation folks are watching over on HBO, Heated Rivalry.

The six-episode series charts years and years of a pair of hockey players who enter the pros at the same time, one a nice boy from Canada, and one a Russian who is such a bad boy, he smokes.  The two have an immediate attraction, and embark on what is initially a sexual relationship, but eventually becomes romantic.  Both are tortured by the expectations put upon them by their macho sport and all that surrounds that as closeted men.

I'm oversimplifying because, gang, this was 6 episodes, each running 45 minutes.  

I don't know that the show really held a ton of surprises, but it's not that kind of show.  It's more about taking you on the journey as best they can as the two move from casual and sexy secretive hook-ups to developing real feelings.  

Chabert Watch: High Hopes (2006)

the actual two leads aren't on the poster?

Watched:  02/21/2026

Format:  Disc

Viewing:  First (and last)

Director:  Joe Eckardt

Blogger's Note:  Well, pals, here we hit a major milestone of ChabertQuest.  As far as I know, this movie is the last live-action Chabert movie on the list that seems to be available on disc and/ or streaming.  Of the 90 films on my list, only five remain, and I am not sure two of them ever saw the light of day.  And the others may just disappear into the fog of time, never having had a physical or streaming media release.  That said, I'd love to finish off the list.  

As near as I can guess, this movie was a money laundering scheme.  Like, bring in money saying you have name people but spend none of it on the actual movie as you shoot in your house.

There's no obvious script to High Hopes (2006), it genuinely feels like they had a rough idea of what they wanted to do, but then they just kind of shot a movie - sometimes with lines, sometimes not - when they had enough actors in the room.  Or, they had rewrites and more rewrites on a movie that is 99.99% set up for a punchline that is telegraphed well in advance, bigoted and was never going to be funny.

Wise Western Watch: Blood On The Moon (1948)

Watched:  02/20/2026

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  First

Director:  Robert Wise

Blood On The Moon (1948) is much more of what I expect from Robert Wise as a director than our last watch - Mystery in Mexico.  

Here, Wise is directing a cast led by Robert Mitchum, with Robert Preston, Barbara Bel Geddes, Walter Brennan, Phyllis Thaxter, Tom Tully, Charles McGraw, and a host of actors you've seen in other films.

Mitchum plays a failed rancher from Texas who heads to Utah for a job offered by his buddy Robert Preston - and it seems that job is acting as a hired gun in a cold range war.  Preston has teamed with other homesteaders against big-time rancher Lufton (Tom Tully) and he's trying to screw Lufton out of his range and cattle.

It's kind of wild as I don't know if I've seen the homesteaders cast in this light before - usually it's one of the big-money ranchers bumping off homesteaders (see: Shane).  And there's certainly the idea presented the rancher has been hassling these people.