So, I used to go to this woman's house to get my haircut, and she took forever because she was watching TV or movies while she cut my hair. And the one that kind of broke me was the 2010 attempt at being good, Burlesque. I didn't see all of it, but I saw enough of it.
First problem: your lead is not a professional actor.
Second problem: somehow the movie makes seasoned actors seem like they, too, cannot act.
Third problem: the movie was written and directed by a guy whose credits included doing, like, two Pussycat Dolls videos
Feature, not a bug: the movie is complete nonsense.
Starring: CHER, Alan Cumming, Peter Gallagher, Stanley Tucci, Kristen Bell, Julianne Hough, and Christina Aguilera AND MORE
DAY: Friday, 08/27
TIME: 8:00 PM Central, 6:00 PM Pacific
Streaming Service: Amazon Watch Party
Link to movie here (it's working now, H)