Regret Watch: Vibes (1988)

Watched:  08/23/2020
Format:  TCM Underground
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1980's
Director:  Ken Kwapis


Ostensibly movies are there to be a popular entertainment enjoyed by many people, which will earn the filmmakers, collaborators and investors some money. 

I am reminded of the comedian Amber Ruffin and her series, Amber Says Why?

Who was Vibes made for, and why did they think people would enjoy it?  Why?  Was it made on a dare?  And if it was a dare, who was daring whom?  And was this the winner or loser of that dare?  Why did they choose to make this, and what is the this that they made?  Is it a comedy, and if so, what part of it is funny?  How did they get to the point where they had a camera and a set and people there to make the movie, and how did they think this was a good script?  And if they thought it was good, why did they think it was good?  Did they want to make money or did they hate money and try not to earn it, and if they thought it would make money, who did they think would pay for watching this movie?  Why did Jeff Goldblum chose to do this movie? And did he know he'd be cast with Cindy Lauper?  Did they cast them because he is tall and she is short? Why did they think psychics and Ecuador were a good fit? And why did they go to Ecaudor for real and a soundstage other times with terrible props?  Was that Elizabeth Pena? Why was she in the movie for five minutes?

WHY?

First - I always thought this was a Manhattan-based comedy about psychics running a scam with other psychics.  Second - this is like a no-budget version of Romancing the Stone but furious at the idea you should like the leads.  Third - wow, clearly Lauper and Goldblum had absolutely no chemistry.  And - Fourth - what could have maybe partially redeemed the film with FX and character moments in the end is just a plastic prop that must have looked so bad they avoid showing it, and Cyndi Lauper telling us something that happened off screen.

But, I am still mostly mad this had Elizabeth Pena and then immediately took her away.  Like, what is wrong with you, movie?

WHY?

Forgot to Mention It Watch: Barbarella (1968)

Watched:  07/24/2020
Format:  Amazon Watch Party
Viewing:  Third
Decade:  1960's
Director:  Roger Vadim

I've never actually *liked* Barbarella (1968), and watching it a third time did nothing to improve that opinion.  Even back in high school when the hint of boob was a welcome thing, I thought the movie was so clunky (and not in a fun way) I turned it off. 

As a grown-assed watcher, it's a slog.  I am sure a certain kind of 1960's beatnik probably liked it, but I am not one of those beatniks.   For a movie that prides itself on sexiness, it's attempts at sexiness are so awkward, it's deeply unsexy and boring to boot. 

Visually, though? - it's astounding, so I recommend putting it on mute and playing it on your TV during a party. 

J-Swift Watch Party: Thank God It's Friday (1978)

Watched:  08/19/2020
Format:  Amazon Prime Streaming Watch Party
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1970's
Director: Robert Klane

This was Jenifer's choice of movie for a Watch Party on Wednesday, and it was a great choice.  Not a *bad* movie, but a fun one with lots of stuff to talk about.  It all takes place in one night at a disco in LA, following multiple storylines.  And! it features Donna Summer, Jeff Goldblum, Debra Winger, the actual Commodores, and a cast of dozens you will never see again. 

It's super goofy and has that belief in discos that you one saw in a handful of movies by people you suspect hadn't really spent all that much time in a disco, but it is full of 70's-flavored male chauvinism, 70's sexism, 70's-flavored ideas about dating and marriage, and the eternal power of Goldblum and the Commodores.

Donna Summer can't act, exactly, but she was *fun*, so there's that. 

You will spend a good amount of the movie runtime wondering if the movie is going to go for an endorsement of swinging, which feels odd, and in the end, I think it split the difference. 

Good pick, Jenifer!

Ann Miller Watch: Kiss Me Kate (1953)

normally I wouldn't include a poster featuring spanking, but this was the image they stuck on *every* poster

Watched:  08/18/2020
Format:  TCM on DVR
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1950's
Director:  George Sidney

You know, I liked this one a lot.

Yeah, a lot of stuff dated very badly, but, I mean...*

No, Kiss Me Kate (1953) didn't feature enough Ann Miller, but nothing does.  The idea and execution worked for me.  The film works in the age-old tradition of a "play within a play", which is only fitting when adapting Shakespeare - as Howard Keel's leading man of Broadway tries to woo his ex-wife (Kathryn Grayson) back to the stage and back into his arms.   Even if he's also got Ann Miller lined up, and cast as Grayson's sister in the show. 

I've seen *some* Shakespeare, but never The Taming of the Shrew, which is the basis for the musical in the movie.  Still, it's tough to get through life in the English speaking world without getting some reference to the show at some point in life, and I'm familiar with the idea.  The film is adapted from a 1947 Broadway show - and in the film, Howard Keel has teamed with someone playing a fictional version of Cole Porter to put on a musical of Taming of the Shrew, so we get a framing first act and then jump to the opening of the show, including backstage antics, and parts of the show mixed in.  Complete with a theater full of extras on the stage and in the seats.

Of course the backstage and on-stage stories intermingle in theme and character arcs, and everyone ends up happy in the end.  But there's something about the contrivances and even "you said the quiet part out loud" bit where watching Shakespeare makes people feel smart - that actually kind of works.  Musicals have notoriously goofy plotlines piled on the oddness of people just busting into song, so keeping you busy with this much story just sort of works.

Miller has the big show starter with Porter's "It's Too Darn Hot" as a sort of tap burlesque,  and with Porter providing songs, it's kinda hard to go wrong.  Of course Keel and Grayson were musical stars of no small stature (well, Grayson looks to be about 5'1"), and play well together. 

The film is a visual spectacle, shot and released in 3D - I can only imagine how the sets and dance numbers looked for 1950's audiences.  That includes some sets and costumes designed with an almost Mary Blair palette approved by Technicolor.

It's also worth noting that the film includes a young Bob Fosse, who apparently got a big boost from his work on the film that led to him getting work on Broadway. 

Anyway - light, fun, better than I figured - it's a good time.  But I'd love to see it in 3D on the big screen.

*sometimes you have to think of the past as an exotic locale where you can have your opinions, but the locals are gonna do what they're gonna do.  You just gotta do better when you get home.

Happy Birthday, Amy Adams

Today is the birthday of one of the brightest actors on the big and small screen, Amy Adams. 

I *think* the public understands what we have in Adams, so I won't belabor the point.  Anyway, take a second today and raise a glass to one of the best.

Friday Amazon Watch Party: Elvira - Mistress of the Dark! (1988)

Where:  Amazon Watch Party
Day:  Friday, 08/21/2020
Time:  8:30 PM Central time

This Friday, we're doing something unthinkable and watching a movie I genuinely really like!  Normally, I watch this film annually around Halloween, but I'm not taking the risk they're pulling it from Prime between now and October 1.  So we're doing it now, friendos!

It's 1988's Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, a goofy supernatural comedy featuring a lead with two terrific things going for her:  acting chops and a terrific sense of comedy.

In the 1980's, Elvira started with a local show in LA hosting creature feature movies, made some appearances on Carson, and went national.  I am 90% sure we never got Movie Macabre in the Austin market, but by 1987 or so, she was in beer commercials, guest starring on TV shows and generally everywhere.  By 1988, she released a movie, and maybe it didn't do so great at the box office?  But over the years, folks have found the movie and watching it now, in a way, it was just ahead of its time.

It's a classic fish-out-of-water story, a journey of self-discovery and has some truly quotable lines (and visuals).  If ever you doubted the power of Elvira, this may be your game changer.  And you're really gonna want to hang in there for the final sequence.  You are not prepared.

 

Cyborg Watch: Running Delilah (1993)

Watched:  08/16/2020
Format:  DVD
Viewing:  First
Decade:  1990's
Director:  Richard Franklin

So, I was scanning the sale items on the Kino Lorber page and was like "Kim Cattrall in a spy movie?" so I read the description and was like "Kim Cattrall as a CYBORG in a spy movie?"  And promptly hit "buy".*

I think this was intended to be a pilot for a very 1990's TV show, probably in syndication.  What's weird about it is that all the pieces are there for what could have been a serviceable stand-alone movie.  In 1993, stars Kim Cattrall and Billy Zane weren't huge stars, but I knew who they were.  The director, Richard Franklin, had handled a couple of mid to low-cost films I'd similarly seen - FX/2 and Cloak and Dagger.   This came out in the wake of La Femme Nikita and multiple RoboCop films.  Instead, it's a reminder of what telefilm and a lot of television looked at during a certain window, and that sci-fi was not always well-served by this sort of production.

Cattrall plays Delilah, an undercover agent for a US law-enforcement agency (I never caught who), , collecting evidence against a Greek arms dealer (who seems to really want to see her eat Greek food for some reason).  Her handler, who is "running" her, is played by Billy Zane.  And the two spend about 7x more time talking about the fact they aren't going to bonetown than they do the case at hand.

Delilah is found out and the baddies take a flying attempt at killing her with lots of bullets.  Zane retrieves the almost-dead agent, and because he loves her (but phrases it as wanting to go to bonetown, because 90's), does as you do and brings her to a French cybernetics guy who happens to work in his building.  There's a bit where she, of course, believes she's a monster.  Remarkably, she gets over it really fast when she finds out she's now the Bionic Woman and can do all kinds of things within budget.  This is one chipper cyborg!

Comedy Watch: Stir Crazy (1980)

Watched:  08/15/2020
Format:  Amazon
Viewing:  I'm calling it a first
Decade:  1980
Director:   Sidney Poitier

I think I saw this in part on HBO when I was a kid, but I don't remember anything but a few glimpses.  It's a Richard Pryor/ Gene Wilder comedy, and for whatever reason these were just never much on my radar.

I think what really struck me was not just how well Wilder and Pryor's sensibilities mesh, but that with Poitier as director, this movie has a certain POV that I'm not sure another, whiter director would have given it.

Crazy casting in this movie.  JoBeth Williams, Craig T. Nelson, Barry Corbin, Joel Brooks, Jonathan Banks...

Anyway, it was a lot of fun! Glad to catch it at long last.

Amazon Watch Party Watch: Grease 2 (1982)

Watched:  08/14/2020
Format:  Amazon Watch Party
Viewing:  Unknown
Decade:  1980's
Director:  Patricia Birch

Well.  I didn't pick this movie because I thought it was good.  Lately Grease 2 has had a resurgence with people of a certain age thinking because they watched it as kids and liked it, it is a good movie.  That is the Space Jam Fallacy talking.  Grease 2 is not good.  And unnecessary.

Highlights:

• Michelle Pfeiffer exists/ "dances"
• Tab Hunter having a good time
• Connie Stevens
• the *other* movie I've seen featuring Maureen Teefy
• Gave young me some very wrong ideas about how high school was going to work
• Pool water disintegrates tuffs and their motorcycles

Anyway, we watched this thing.  A good time was had.

Ann Miller Watch: The Opposite Sex (1956)

Watched:  08/15/2020
Format:  TCM on DVR
Viewing: First
Decade:  so very 1950's
Director:  David Miller


This is essentially a remake of The Women (1939), still rightfully hailed as a Hollywood classic. 

I dunno.  The Opposite Sex (1956) is somehow more dated than its 1939 counterpart, although both take place in Manhattan's society page sort of environment.  The real reason to watch this one is probably to see a movie so chock full of "oh, wow, she's in this" actresses of the era.

Ann Miller
Joan Collins
Dolores Gray
Ann Sheridan
Agnes Moorehead
Joan Blondell
Alice Pearce
June Allyson

and two of the main dudes in the movie are Leslie Nielsen (back when he was straight leading man material) and a favorite around here: Sam Levene.

I don't think *any* men appear in The Women, they're just discussed.  And it's arguable both films fail the Bechdel Test, despite the female centric casts- but they do give a curious bit of insight into the topsy turvy world of wealthy women dependent on men, alimony, and bouncing back over and over - in both good and mercenary ways.

Frankly, it doesn't make anyone look *great*, but it is silly and dishy, and goes by fast.

I didn't particularly like this movie, but Ann Miller looked stellar.  But she wasn't in it enough for my dollar, so.

Friday - Amazon Watch Party: GREASE 2

Day:  08/14/2020
Time:  8:30 PM Central
Amazon Watch Party Link is here

No movie with Michelle Pfeiffer is all that bad.  But Grease 2 isn't all that good, either.

If you were looking for the further adventures of Danny and Sandy and how things worked out for them - well, tough nuts.  Laura says they died.  So, instead, we get a different group of kids a year or so later at dear old Rydell High!  Want to see Rizzo and Kanicki?  TOUGH.  We have... Goose and... I dunno.

But the movie has Christopher McDonald and Adrian Zmed!

It's all of the rough plot of Grease with none of the music you liked, a lot you won't, and a lot of returning teachers and principals.

Forewarning: we will cut you if you say anything negative about Eve Arden.

Doc Watch: Howard (2018)

Watched:  08/10/2020
Format:  Disney+
Viewing:  First
Decade:  2010's
Director:  Don Hahn

Let me start by saying: in a lot of ways Disney+ is much better than I ever expected.  I've enjoyed the Disney "from the vaults" content, catching new material, behind the scenes at parks, movies, etc... with One Day at Disney and two series - one on the making of The Mandalorian and an exceptional doc series on the making of Frozen 2. 

And, of course, then the release of Hamilton.  I haven't watched Black is King yet, but that's a pretty big line in the sand for the Disney brand to put out on their flagship, no-doubt-this-is-Disney streaming service when Disney has usually just avoided anything that invites cultural critique.*

But Disney+ putting a doc about Howard Ashman, a gay man who died of complications from AIDs at the height of the epidemic, and being honest and open about his sexuality and struggle with the disease, is... kind of mind-blowing.  There's something about the platform of their own streaming service and that you've already paid your money to have it that seems to have freed up the Disney Corp to tell some stories well worth telling I don't know we'd see if they didn't have this avenue.

The doc, itself, is the life story of Howard Ashman who - paired with Alan Menken - wrote the musical numbers for Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin.  He also wrote and originally produced Little Shop of Horrors - which was his big breakout hit off-Broadway. 

It's really a pretty great story, well told, and has the heart-breaking knowledge of what happened to Ashman in the back of your head.  And, sadly, the fact he was the musical partner of Menken and that he died of AIDS was all I'd known about him until watching the doc. 

I don't want to get into details too much, but as loving as it is, it isn't shy about who Howard Ashman was and doesn't make him into a saint - while illustrating pretty clearly what sort of mind he had that helped push the Disney cartoon back into prestige territory (and why Disney was flailing at the time he showed up).

For fans of animation, musical theater, or Disney-history - well worth the viewing. 




*Disney tends to get lambasted no matter what they do, and I've stood there and listened to lines of people parrot back the criticisms of Aladdin, Lion King and Little Mermaid during 3 summers at The Disney Store.  I would invariably listen and then say "well, I make $4.50 an hour working here and while I'll tell my manager...  really, your best bet is writing the studio in California."

Musical Watch: Guys and Dolls (1955)

Watched:  08/09/2020
Format:  Amazon Prime
Viewing:  Third?
Decade:  1950's
Director:  Joseph L. Mankiewicz

This movie is so kooky.  Dancing hoods and a singing Marlon Brando.  Big, expensive sets, extravagant costuming, and a cast out of central casting who all seem game. 

It's got maybe one of the dopiest stories in a genre that includes @#$%ing Brigadoon, but the off-kilter dialog, the surreal scene-design and catchy numbers (half of which you already know even if you never saw the play or movie) are all very winning. 

I like some parts of it more and some parts of it less - I think Sinatra is genuinely funny in the movie.  I am not in love with the ear-piercing voice Blaine effects, but find her character endearing.  I am deeply jealous of how good Brando looks in a suit.  Jean Simmons is, as always, lovely and can act!

But if you're looking for some fluff, it's some quality fluff.  And get ready for some dynamic dance sequences there in the sewer sequence.

Ann Miller Watch: Hit the Deck (1955) and Reveille with Beverly (1943) and The Great American Pastime (1956)

shut the hell up, Tom Ewell

Watched: 08/8 (HtD), 08/9 (RwB), 8/11 (GAP)
Format:  Ann Miller Day of TCM
Viewing:  First for all 3
Decade:  1950's, 1940's


Look, I've been clear about the whole Ann Miller thing, and I'm not going to apologize for it.

It's August, and therefore "Summer Under the Stars" time on TCM, which means 24 hours of movies from one actor each day all month.  And this last week featured Ann Miller day, and here we all are.

Three very different movies.

Hit the Deck (1955) is pretty clearly a "I like Guys and Dolls" and "wow, was On the Town a decent movie" mash-up.  I dunno.  It was fine.  Little Debbie Reynolds is cute as a button.  Ann Miller got a couple of numbers.  It's okay.  It has a lot of deeply sexist set-up that kind of unravels in a pleasant way and has a great few numbers by the women in the movie.  And it's always great to see Russ Tamblyn.  And I need to look into this Kay Armen.  She was terrific.

Reveille with Beverly (1943) is war-time spirit-boosting propaganda and was one of the movies that was essentially an excuse to do a musical variety show with everyone from Duke Ellington to Bob Crosby.  Ann Miller plays a feisty and insanely perky radio host.  The film, however, ends on a very strange pivot as they remind you, all the soldiers are going off to war - and it was this odd, incredibly sad transition, with Beverly still in her show costume watching them go.

The Great American Pastime (1956) is a post-war movie trying to recapture some of the magic of Seven-Year Itch and reminding me "I don't particularly care for Tom Ewell".   What could have been a Bad News Bears instead is kind of a sitcom dad who seems oblivious to the fact he's married to Anne Francis and that Anne Francis has decided Ann Miller is a sexual threat (she is not, which...  I mean).  Anyway - the movie felt really under-written and I kind of hated the way they wrote Tom Ewell's son.  Seemed like a dopey ingrate.


But Ann Miller looked great in all of these movies.  So.

Greatest Movie Ever Made Watch: Airplane! (1980)

Watched:  08/07/2020
Format:  Netflix
Viewing:  Man, who knows?
Decade:  1980's
Directors: 

Jim Abrahams
David Zucker
Jerry Zucker

I have never not enjoyed watching Airplane!  (1980).  Yes, it's jokes are dated, there's a flavor of what would now be considered low-key racism and punching down at some people.  But, goddammit, Airplane! is, minute by minute, *trying*.  It doesn't have some message that drives the movie off cliff as it gives us some low-rent stakes (thanks, Jud Apatow, for giving us two decades of movies about guys all learning the same lessons over and over).  The only stakes in Airplane are dumb and don't matter - the plot there so we have a reason to do the gags.

Heck, the movie doesn't really care if the leads are "likeable" - it's beside the point.  But they are, and Julie Haggerty doesn't get the credit she deserves.  A lot of the humor isn't "gentle".  Personally, I find the line-up of people waiting to calm the passenger in hysterics to be a nigh-perfect visual.

And, of course, Leslie Nielsen is at his best here.

Anyway.  Airplane! is the finest in film comedy and I won't tolerate dissent on this subject.

PodCast: 114 "The Spy Who Loved Me" (1977) - A Bond PodCast w/ SimonUK and Ryan

Watched: 07/30/2020
Format: BluRay
Viewing: Unknown
Decade: 1970's
Director: Lewis Gilbert

For more ways to listen


It's Roger Moore, and nobody does it better! One of the biggest-scale Bond movies, with some great villains, a terrific romance and cool-as-hell gadgets! What's not to like about this one? SimonUK and Ryan discuss a Bond movie that may be at sea, but is never adrift. Plus - Ryan gets to talk about Caroline Munro for a bit.

The Signal Watch PodCast · 114: " Spy Who Loved Me" (1977) - Bond Watch w/ SimonUK and Ryan

Music:

Nobody Does it Better - Carly Simon (like you didn't know)


Playlist:

The Signal Watch PodCast · Bond Watch!

Caroline Munro is here to remind you that just because you're trying to kill people doesn't mean you can't look your best

Kaiju Watch: Godzilla v King Ghidorah (1991)

Watched:  08/06/2020
Format:  BluRay
Viewing:  third
Decade:  1990's
Director:  Kazuki Ōmori

I know I always say this, but this movie is straight nonsense.

In particular, the flavor of nonsense in this movie is an alarming disregard for logic tied to time travel.  Also, cuts and colors of suit.

Amazon Watch Party this Friday: Cherry 2000

betting that is not the shirt or physique we see in the film

Day:  08/07/2020
Time:  8:30 Central/ 6:30 Pacific
Amazon Watch Party Link HERE

Jamie has been on about this movie for the near-26 years I've been with her.  So we're watching it, because I did see it was a kid, believing it would have some boobs.  It doesn't.  And that's mostly all I remember:  Premium cable sadness.

Anyway, get ready for some 1980's post-apocalyptic nonsense starring Melanie Griffith, who never had those shoulders in the poster. Nor do those shoulders make any sense in relation to the hips of same Melanie Griffith in that poster.

We're blaming Jamie for this one.

Don't Judge Me Watch: Making Mr. Right (1987)

Watched:  08/02/2020

Format:  TCM on DVR

Viewing:  Unknown.  At least second.

Decade:  late 80's

Director:  Susan Seidelman

I had only vague memories of Making Mr. Right (1987), a movie I watched on cable as a kid.  And this is the part where I talk about women and their appearance and probably get in trouble.  But I essentially had two memories of Making Mr. Right, aside from very, very broad strokes of the plot of a woman getting mixed up with a scientist and the robot who looks just like him and the robot/doctor is John Malkovich in a role you'll be like "what? why?"

Wilford Brimley Merges With The Infinite

Wilford Brimley, a man I think it's safe to say all of us had a multi-faceted fondness for, has passed.

From the NYT.

I can't say how I became aware of Wilford Brimley.  I knew who he was by the time I saw Cocoon in the theater.  Maybe he was doing oatmeal commercials by then.  I can't say.

He was always a lot younger than he looked - he was only 50ish when they filmed Cocoon.  He would have been about 45 when he did The Thing.  One of his craziest coups was playing the Postmaster General of the USPS for about one minute on Seinfeld and doing that thing he'd done in The Firm where Grandpa-is-low-key-threatening-me that was bizarrely terrifying.

The last few years, Brimley discovered twitter and was hilarious and a cheerful spot.